SHAKING UP NOVEMBER

One should not abandon a good habit or routine. I’m here once again with my morning Chai. My fingers are limbered and eager to tap out their words. I’m hard pressed to say where they come from. I never know what will come out. They just do. They have a mind of their own.

It’s almost 8 am. It’s still dark, dark out. I am too watchful of the days and time. That’s what you do when you are retired. In other times, I would stumble out of bed at the crack of dawn. I would dress and hustle out with Sheba for our walk before going to work. The darkness would be just on the periphery of my consciousness. In other times I had gone to work sick as I have been lately. I felt I had to unless I needed life support. Funny what we can do when there was no other choice.

So have I been whining a lot lately? Have I turned soft and complaining too much about my lot in life? I hope not. I have not meant to. I am just ventilating, breathing out the toxins. Don’t pay attention to my negativity. I am balancing my chi, doing a re-alignment of my chakras. I am not an expert in chakras or chi. I rely on my innate compass but here’s a short course in chakras from MindBodyGreen:

The 7 Chakras are the energy centers in our body in which energy flows through.
Blocked energy in our 7 Chakras can often lead to illness so it’s important to understand what each Chakra represents and what we can do to keep this energy flowing freely. Here’s our quick summary:

1. Root Chakra – Represents our foundation and feeling of being grounded.

Location: Base of spine in tailbone area.

Emotional issues: Survival issues such as financial independence, money, and food.

More on Root Chakra healing

2.Sacral Chakra – Our connection and ability to accept others and new experiences.

Location: Lower abdomen, about 2 inches below the navel and 2 inches in.

Emotional issues: Sense of abundance, well-being, pleasure, sexuality.

More on Sacral Chakra healing

3.Solar Plexus Chakra – Our ability to be confident and in-control of our lives.

Location: Upper abdomen in the stomach area.

Emotional issues: Self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem.

More on Solar Plexus Chakra healing

4.Heart Chakra – Our ability to love.

Location: Center of chest just above heart.

Emotional issues: Love, joy, inner peace.

More on Heart Chakra healing

5.Throat Chakra – Our ability to communicate.

Location: Throat.

Emotional issues: Communication, self-expression of feelings, the truth.

More on Throat Chakra healing

6. Third Eye Chakra – Our ability to focus on and see the big picture.

Location: Forehead between the eyes. (Also called the Brow Chakra)

Emotional issues: Intuition, imagination, wisdom, ability to think and make decisions.

More on Third Eye Chakra healing

7. Crown Chakra – The highest Chakra represents our ability to be fully connected spiritually.

Location: The very top of the head.

Emotional issues: Inner and outer beauty, our connection to spirituality, pure bliss.

More on Crown Chakra healing

I am shaking up my chakras a little. It is how I get myself out of the doldrums sometimes. I’m shaking them up to the music of Johnny Kidd & The Pirates. I’ve got the quivers down the back bone, I got the shivers down the thigh bone… I feel my chakras sliding into place, in perfect alignment.

Do what you must to have a good day. I have to stop complaining about November. It is a wonderful month to:

re-align my chakras
simmer soup
make baguettes to eat with the soup
roast root vegetables
learn French
Zentangle and doodle
work on my short stories
work on my Jesus (cross stitch)
lane swim
plan on spring garden

I think Jesus heard me and sent out the sun. It is beaming and smiling over my right shoulder.

SUNRISE, SUNSET

Not much sun this morning. There was no sun at all. I wondered if the sun still rises on mornings like these. But still, I felt and saw the sun in my mind’s eye as I did my opening qigong move to the sunrise. I knew that somewhere behind the clouds and mist, the sun was rising and I greeted it to start the day.

Hello day! You are here for me to fill as I desire. It does not matter that it is cloudy. It is still a gift of time to be well spent in whatever it is that pleases me. And so I breathe in and I breathe out. I open my arms to the sky. I feel the energy flowing through me. And all is copacetic.

I try to mix the order of my movements between the sunrise and sunset. Being such a creature of habit, it is not so easy. There is such a sense of discomfort and resistance. I breathe in and out and continue to find order within my disorder. Such is life. There is so much chaos and it is I who must remain calm and constant.

I came to rest at the sunset, crossing and opening my arms to the sky. I held the ball of chi in my hands and stepped back in honour and bowed to the ancestors.

TRUE CONFESSIONS

I have to confess that I am having a difficult time with everything lately. Perhaps it is because I am right on the cusp of RETIREMENT. My life is going to change. The word CHANGE is enough to scare the beejees out of anyone. Maybe I need to change the way I talk to myself….the things I tell myself, the words I use.

Then, there is the weather. I am sure that I can feel every drop in the atmospheric pressure. I feel every shadow of each cloud as they pass over the sun. It is no fun to feel your heart in your mouth. I think I would prefer my foot. Well, I can still joke. That is something.

So this guy suggest that I surround myself with white light. Then I could enjoy whatever energy is around. That is a lovely thought…to enjoy whatever there is. It is what I try to do when I embrace heavenly chi. I hold this protective shield around me. Seeing it in my mind’s eye makes me feel better already. Letting the words fall from my fingers eases the fear. Sometimes I drop out and nap like Sheba if I can. Escapism is not a bad thing.

Vulnerability is not a bad thing either. How else can God know what you need if you don’t tell? I know he is all knowing and all that, but he is a busy fellow. He has a large flock. Sometimes all he needs is a whisper. Other times you have to scream. OVER HERE, GOD!

Screaming definitely makes me feel better, even if it is only in print. It releases my stagnant chi. My chest is relaxed and I can breathe. Maybe now I can find that notice to renew my license plate. It is due tomorrow. I will find it. I am not behind. I have time. Sit, stay and dine. Everything is copacetic.

THE CALM AMID THE CHAOS

I was awake this morning before dawn. Some of you must know of these early awakenings. I tried and tried to fall back to sleep but cannot. So I tried to stay and be content. But I cannot.

So I rose, made myself a cup of tea and watched the first amber glow of the day in the sunroom. I made peace with my feelings. I made friends with my ghosts. We drank tea together. I sat and stayed. I breathed.

The morning came. I did my 18 heavenly moves. I surrounded myself with divine chi. I felt its warmth protecting me. Calmness came amid my mind’s chaos.

There is power in movement, in the doing, first one limb, then another. The cobwebs and ghosts leave with the sunlight. First one, then another, to have tea or maybe lunch at Somewhere Else. They will probably come back another day. I will let them come. I will set the table. I will use my fine china and we will honour each other. Namaste!

THE SPIRIT OF CELEBRATIONS

I’m thinking of past Christmases and New Years as I awake in the dark this morning. I’m thinking that it would be much easier if it was in July. There would be no snow, heavy coats, scarves and boots, coughs or runny noses to deal with. Life would be lighter and easier…would it not?

I’m also thinking back to my childhood in China, of New Year’s Eve. Seems to me that is the only memory I have of a true celebration ….. a welcoming in of the new year and paying homage to the one past. That is my interpretation of the rituals, for I was but a child when I left my homeland. That is how I like to remember it.

I’m feeling my loss, as a child of immigrants to this country….the loss of my Chinese-ness, my culture, my heritage. But I have spent many more years here than there and I can never go home again. I am a stranger in both lands. Sometimes it is necessary to feel our pain and losses in order to move ahead. I have felt that pain many times. But I also have gained much because of that sense of loss.

I really do not want to dwell on pain and losses. They are not always real, but things our mind grab onto, maybe because of something someone said or done. Who knows what is in another’s mind or heart. And you cannot understand it so you write your own interpretation. You allow yourself to doubt and you let poison in. You hurt. How does that help? Better that we celebrate, however we can, to let in the light.

I like the Chinese ways of ushering in the new by cleaning and clearing out stale and stagnant chi. Gung Hee Fat Choy! Happy New Year! Chinese tradition is to bring the new year in with clean house, new clothes and to receive/give red envelopes of money ..symbol of prosperity. My childhood memory is of our house being warmed by the fires tended by the women in our family as they made sweets and dim sims in the night. Perhaps one day I will learn how to make some of them.

I’m sweeping out the debris of my mind, letting go of past grievances and hurts, opening my heart to receive all the goodness that there is in the universe. I am baking bread, , making soup, blessing our home. I am wearing the colour red, the colour of good fortune.

I am no longer a lost child. looking for my identity. I have found my Chinese self, Hafong, alias Lily, the born again Catholic, who admires the ways of Buddha . I am a Chinese woman living in Canada, a country in the Universe. And I am celebrating my life.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

chi