WISHING

Posted on April 18, 2015 by hafong

It’s Saturday and the morning brings the sunshine. I watch the light dance on the wall next to me. I am happy and fortunate to have this space. It is very healing. I’m very proud for I have created it especially for me.

I remembered showing my mother the plans. It looks like our garage! she exclaimed. Bless mothers for seeing the practical. While she saw a garage, I saw my sunroom.

When my body betrays me and my spirit is like spaghetti, the light through the windows, the warmth of the wood, the openness and yet coziness of the room wrap its arms around me, comforting and soothing me.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I could wish for no more. I know that everything is within me. I have it all. I have it in me to make them come true.

I’m tapping with my magic wand for Kat McNally’s #AprilMoon. Thank you for the space, Kat.

WHAT MAKES ME FEEL LUCKY

Posted on April 17, 2015 by hafong

It is still April. The morning is mighty fine. I love how the sun comes through the windows and dances on the walls of the sun room and dining room at this hour. Everything is bathed in soft buttery light. I bask in its glow, appreciating the moment, knowing it will be gone soon. This is what makes me feel lucky, knowing and appreciating the now.

Yes, I am sitting and holding this space from Kat McNally’s #AprilMoon. I’m tap, tapping out the words from my fingertips. I feel lucky, too, that I am able to do this – to breathe through my nose all the way down to my fingertips. The words come out, one by one. They march across the screen, forming words and sentences. They give me life and sustenance. They help me live in the moment. They anchor me in the now.

Sometimes I drift away, carried off by my thoughts, of course. They are devious and intrusive – full of trickery. I am mindful of them. They can deceive you with their false truths. I try not to spend time in that space of wondering – ‘if I will ever’. Thoughts cannot do the deed. Thinking is just thinking but it sure can burn up the energy.

I try to stay in the here and now, not examining the past nor wondering about the future. I like it here, tap, tapping and watching the sun dance on the walls. It is peaceful. It is healing.

#April Love, #April Moon

Posted on April 14, 2015 by hafong

This is the best part of my day, sitting in my space, tap, tapping out my words for #April Love and #April Moon. The letters and words fall from my fingertips. I inhale and exhale, one breath after another – like the words across my screen. My body feels the relief, the shedding of tightly coiled emotions and tension. I am saved for another day.

I am a very obsessive person. This, I now know. It has not been very healthy for me. My obsessiveness have spiralled me into a vortex of anxieties and other related health issues. So my current obsession is not to be obsessive (laughing ~~out loud~~ not so loudly). I’m trying to remain soft and pliable and bend like the graceful willow. I do not need to be the mighty oak.

How do I un-adrenaline myself? How do I remain soft around the knees as they say in yoga? Having this space here to tap, tap out my angst is wonderful. To move my fingers across the keyboard is restful and reassuring. I am encapsulated in the quiet and stillness of the Universe, letting go of everything except this moment.

NOTE TO SELF

Posted on April 13, 2015 by hafong

I’m tap, tapping from prompts offered by Kat McNally’s #AprilMoon and Susannah Conway’s aprillove2015. I’m careful of my words. They can send powerful messages to the mind. We know what tricks the mind can play on us. So pay heed what you say and think. I’m often guilty of not paying attention and let every wisp of smoke get in. That smoke smoulders and flares into flames. Before you know it, there is a raging fire.

Let me take care and form my thoughts carefully.

#aprillove2015

Good morning, self. It’s a beautiful morning. See how the light dances on the wall. Feel it kissing your sweet face. It is blessing you with its healing warmth. Bask and luxuriate in its arms. The morning will pass fast enough. In the meantime, enjoy the peace and quietness.

You are the child of the Universe. You are loved and cherished. Be happy for you are as you should be. Feel blessed by the love and goodness in your life. Be grateful for your riches. Be strong in your faith. Be forgiving in your heart. Be generous of the spirit. Above all else, love yourself – no matter what.

Now I lay myself down to sleep. Goodnight self. Close your eyes. Empty your thoughts and smooth your brow of care. You have worked hard and done your best today. Now it is time to rest. Let the sandman sprinkle magical dust onto your eyes. Sweet dreams, my dear.

INSPIRATIONS – FIVE YEARS AGO

Posted on April 11, 2015 by hafong

Morning, my favourite time of day. Saturday, my favourite day of the week. I’m sitting here this sunny Saturday morning in April, tapping out my words. I’m tapping from this newly uncovered flexible spot. I’m tapping in ease for Susannah Conway’s #Aprillove2015’s prompt: Five years ago. I’m tapping for Kat McNally’s #AprilMoon prompt on sources of inspiration.

#Aprillove’s prompt is: Five years ago. Five years ago, after being in a relationship with I, me and myself for many years, the three of us took a chance and became a WE with someone from the distant past. I remembered that moment vividly. My phone was ringing as I unlocked the back door.

Sheba lunged in, pulling me with her. We skidded to a stop in front of the phone. The call display said: Sasktel Pay Phone. My curiosity pushed me to pick it up. “Lily, this is the voice from your past”. An unfamiliar voice said. “I don’t know who you are. Who the hell are you?” I queried. The rest is history as they say.

Being WE has been a challenging journey but I have no regrets. Challenges has always been one of my greatest sources of inspiration. They have taken me down untravelled roads. I have taken many wrong turns and been lost many times but I always find myself again. I consciously choose The Road Not Taken. I don’t like regrets of I should-haves.

Had I not taken the chance of reconnecting with the past, I would not have experienced Ghana (where he was living at the time), the country, its people and culture. Some people thought I was brave, but I had no doubts. I felt it was meant to be. I’m a believer in synchronicity. Somehow the heart knows.

That was five years ago. We’re still together- now in Canada. It is still challenging. Our relationship is very complicated as they would say in Facebook. But we talk a lot to each other and watch each other’s back. Is that love? #April Love and #April Moon.

NOTHINGNESS AND POSITIVITY

Posted on April 9, 2015 by hafong

Today I’m writing from Kat McNally’s prompt in this space – the last time I felt completely relaxed was…. I’m not quite sure if it is possible for me to feel completely relaxed. But I’ve been working hard at it. You see, that is my problem – I work hard at everything with guns blazing. Does that sound relaxing? Of course not and it backfired on me. So now, I’m working on not working so hard. I do learn from my mistakes or it’s just my body was sending out SOS signals and I finally listened.

I have dedicated this week to nothingness and positivity. My body and mind demand it. I need to let go of the striving part of me, always striving for goals of further, better, more, of being in perfect ~~harmony~~ control. Nothingness is a little easier when you are down and burnt of energy.

I started the project(my striving mind talking again) with the way I walk Sheba. There was going to be no hurry, no yanking of the leash, she can sniff all she wants. How long can a sniff last? It was going to be a mindful walk, being in the moment with my furry baby. It worked pretty well, though I did forget myself a few times. OK Sheba! Enough! Yank on the chain. What can I say but bad habits take over.

We met someone early on our walk. Remembering positivity, I smiled and said good morning. She replied with: It’s a beautiful day. I replied with: It’s about time! Bad habit took over again. The retort was out before I could stop myself. I cursed a little at myself inside. I stopped. No beating on self allowed either! Positivity and kindness apply for myself, too. It was a good walk. I learned a lot about my behaviour being mindful. My talking mind was going a hundred miles/hour in my head. I saw what a hurried and controlling person I was inside. No wonder Sheba digs her heels in and refuses to budge sometimes! Dogs need to smell their coffee, too.

It’s good to take time out, let go and let the nothingness take over. In the nothingness of that time, however short, I found peace and relaxation. I will not ask nor strive for more. It is enough.

FROM WHERE I STAND

Posted on April 8, 2015 by hafong

From where I stand. #aprillove2015

From where I stand today, I see that I still want perfection. I still long to be better and more – than what, I do not know. Even though I was born in China and have stood at the center of the world at Cape Three Points, Ghana, I still feel I’ve been nowhere. The lack I feel is endless. I recognize that. I accept them. They are just feelings. They are not me. I am whole as is. I am where I’m suppose to be. Here. Now.

#AprilMoon

I know that now. Had I recognize that years ago, what would I tell my younger self? I don’t know and if I did, would I believe myself? So from where I am standing or sitting today, it is best to get up and get on with life. If I had known better, I know I would have done better. If I could, I would, wouldn’t you?

Thank you again to Susannah Conway and Kat McNally for your prompts.

TOUCH – KISSED BY SUNSHINE, HELD IN SHADOW

Posted on April 6, 2015 by hafong

Here I am, feeling challenged amidst my challenges. Have I bitten off more than I can chew? They are not ‘musts’, life or death situations. They are challenges I have signed up to give me goals, inspirations and structure for my posts and writing. If I leave it to time or inclination, you know what will happen – nothing. And so, I have signed up for #aprillove with Susannah Conway, April Moon with Kat McNally, and Ultimate Blog Challenge .

I am really loving the prompts and loving coming from these sources. Keeping up is not easy, but it is not hard either if I don’t let my thoughts intrude and if I stop thinking in scarcity of time. They rob me of creativity and mire me in STUCK. I am not behind. I am forging ahead the best I can. I have to embrace the good and bad, the yin and the yang. I love the day and the night. What am I but one dimensional without my shadow? It will be good if I can accept and embrace my dark side. I am me, myself and I. Wherever I go, they and my shadow also go.

#AprilMoon prompt

Cia, goodbye past, I am writing the next chapter, a new story of my life. You no longer work. And now I am free of fear of uncertainty, of the dark, of the shadows within myself. I can breathe now and let me, myself and I out completely. I am singing in the rain, dancing in sunshine. Oh let those clouds come by. I am not afraid. I am kissed by sunshine, held in shadow.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

Tag Archives: #AprilMoon