NOT SO BAD AT ALL!

At long last, a warm Saturday morning! I am basking in the sunshine, sipping my tea and tapping on my laptop. Sheba is laying at my feet. I feel like tap dancing and breaking out in song. If only I can dance and sing! Never mind, music is playing in my head again. I have to sit and listen to Roger Miller sing before I can go on tapping.

I’m obviously feeling better, eh? It’s good to know that I’m not always down in the dumps, no fun to be around. It’s also important for me to document it as proof. Sometimes I don’t remember or believe myself. It feels absolutely wonderful that I am doing this Ultimate Blog Challenge. This time around, I have a clearer vision of what I want to accomplish using the challenge as a tool. Let me put it down here again.

  1. Be mindful and in the present moment.
  2. Getting up, dressing up and showing up here every day.
  3. Work on content, construction, proof reading of posts.
  4. Striving for improving mental and physical health – eg. losing a few pounds.

What works for me is to do the small of everything. A few words to get an idea  to form. I do not have or work in concrete ideas/forms. I’m one whose head is in the clouds and whose thoughts are as nebulous as the mist. It’s only when I tap on the keyboard, when I see the words march across the screen that I can see my way out of the woods. It’s a big ahah moment. Until I can see and understand my handicap, I can’t make a correction or make an improvement.

Ad libbing, off the cuff will not work for me. I need to put my thoughts into words on a page. I need to brainstorm onto the page. I need to break things into small steps. My brain goes into a soupy fog even thinking of doing the lunch dishes. I want to dump everything and run away. It’s only after I slowly and mindfully start scraping off the plates, loading them into the sink/dishwasher, putting in soap, turning on the water…that my brain starts to relax. My hands and mind connect, gets into a rhythm and somehow the dishes are done. I go, “Well, that wasn’t bad!” I go through this every day.

I can also say that this wasn’t at all bad  for the 6th day of this challenge. I get to do this all over again tomorrow.

 

SUNSHINE, RAIN AND LEMONADE

I’m moving slowly and heavily through the day.  The weather is playing havoc with my body and my mind.  I am familiar with this game so I know the moves well.  First one foot, then the other and so on.  I am moving slowly but still making progress.

It rained all day yesterday.  But it was one of those comforting days you felt cocooned in the house and what you were doing.  The sound of rain falling was a soothing backdrop. It surrounded me with its music.

IMG_4891Today started off well enough with the sun lighting up my office in the early hours.  Oh, nice!  I breathed, ready for the day.  I went to put the tea kettle on.  By the time I came back, it had clouded over.  And so it stayed for the morning.

You have to play the hand day you’re dealt. This is where routines and rituals came to my aide.  They help push me through the day.  So I hurt and my head is all fogged up.  I’m not scheduled to do brain surgery today.  I have paid all my bills online yesterday.  Whew!  But I still need to eat.

I’ve been baking bread using the same recipe for the four years.  I know it by heart.  On a day like today, I decide to check it just to be safe. Better be sure then sorry that I goofed on the salt or the yeast.  Nothing worse than six loaves of salty and/or leaden bread staring at you, fresh from the oven.

Even then, I still thought as I went along.  Was that number 5 or 6 cups of flour?  How much honey did I put in just now?  I had to put a stop to my defective thoughts.  I needed to trust myself, no matter how uncertain I felt.  It was like running back to see if you had locked the door time after time.  Enough was enough!

IMG_1012It all went well.  There was a flow in the measuring, stirring and mixing. Kneading the dough soothed and cooled my aching hand and fingers.  It took my mind off the fog in my head.  No mishaps of too much/too little of ingredients.  Six loaves came out browned and wholesome.

In the meantime, the weather waxed and waned.  Clouds and rain followed by sunshine, followed by clouds and rain again.  In between Sheba and I managed to get our walk in.

You have to make hay while the sun shines and if you’re handed lemons, make that lemonade.  I like mine a bit on the sweet side, if you don’t mind.

 

ALL ON A SATURDAY MORNING

IMG_0805I think summer has finally come.  We are rejoicing in the sunshine and the warm.  It’s a bit of a shock to the system to adjust from a single digit temperature to a sizzling 30 degrees overnight.  Some of us take refuge in the shade.

We have our first bloom in the flower bed.  And the last two raised beds are planted with peppers, tomatoes and celery.  Now it’s time to sit back and see how they do.

SUNSHINE, LOLLYPOPS, RAINBOWS

Yesterday the sun did not come out at all.  My world was bathed in grey.  But despite it, I got out of bed, dressed, ate, lived.

After being on this earth for a few years, I have learned a few tools.  I know, or should know what to do.  There is no point in complaining about the weather, pouting, procrastinating and being difficult to those around me.  My brain knows that and I say that to myself frequently through the day.  Do the right thing.  Don’t revert to your bad habits.  Just put one foot in front of the other and MOVE!

Even if it is cloudy outside, I always feel a relief when I step outdoors.  My body heaves this big sigh and I can breathe and relax again.  So off to the dog park Sheba and I go in the afternoon.  I feel the physical discomfort of those oppressing clouds.  And we are stopped on the way by a train passing.  And so there we are, waiting….It has many cars.   So we wait and I am conscious of my physical yukkiness.  But that is just what it was…some kind of yuk, nausea, ugh!  But I do not die.  I watch and count the cars as the train speeds along.  I am distracted out of my discomfort.

Distraction is the biggest tool I have learned in these last few days.  I am a slow learner, but better late than never.  Maybe I have always been in too much of a hurry before, busy collecting information and things… . too busy collecting and never making use.  Have you been there?

I am feeling as if I have just been waken up from a deep slumber.  I feel like Sleeping Beauty, being kissed by her Prince, only I have been kissed by LIFE.  I am awed by life.  Now I see even when the skies are grey, there are the colours of the rainbow all around me…in what we wear,

in what we eat,

in the things we surround ourselves with.

Today I am surrounded by sunlight in my room.  I am soaking it up and storing the memory of its warmth and glow for those not so sunny days.  But having been conscious of our own powers of making sunshine, I will always know how to walk in sunshine.