WHAT I NEED – days 200-202 in a year of…

Posted on February 14, 2017 by hafong

Days 200-202, February 14, 2017 @ 6:10 pm

I am such a clutter bug. My desk and dining table keep filling up with paper piles. What I need is a secretary to look after all my paper needs. It would help greatly to keep my head clear if someone would:

To answer the mail, file and/or delete, discard
Pay the bills and file them
Make my necessary appointments and take me there
Clear off my desk and diningroom table daily

You would think I have a business to run. I don’t. I don’t even have a job to go to. What I need is to give myself a shake and snap out of it. Having put down those 4 items for my secretary, it doesn’t look so much or difficult. So why don’t I just do them myself? Am I tripping myself up constantly, doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Probably.

I have to keep trying clearing those paper piles every day. It’s a tough one today especially when the weather is so warm. I feel guilty feeling like mush, no energy. I’m like that cake with the icing melting in the rain. I feel like hell.

MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain

But I still have control over my mind. With some effort I push my thinking to I can. The beauty of little projects is that it can propel me forward. The success of creating a bit of beauty in my study of palm trees and letting go gave me a burst of energy. It gave me enough oomph to gather all my art stuff off the dining table and move them and all my supplies downstairs. If they were all downstairs, I would be more apt to work there. I have a very nice space there. It’s just habit that I don’t. I’m doing something different, setting myself up for success instead of failure.

I am feeling better, having snapped out a bit. I paid a bill and sent some mail. I decided I will take another interest class for spring. I even printed out the application form. I showed up here. Yay!

GRACE AND A GRUMPY CHERUB – Day 149-150 in a year of..

Posted on December 31, 2016 by hafong

Day 149 – 158, December 31, 2016 @2:15 pm

10 days have passed since my last post – the longest lapse in this year of doing different. I have, at least, marked the days through my Instagram snapshots. The doing/thinking different have not been forgotten and laid wasted on life’s roadside. I’m still trudging on the path during these cloudy December days. I’m showing up here on the last day of the year.

It’s a year of ups and downs, highs and lows, hot and cold, dry and wet. It’s a year like any other, full of changes, good times and bad. It’s the year that I’ve really come to recognize that I am an adult in charge of my life and that my time is limited. I’m closer to that end of the roll of toilet paper where it unravels faster and faster. If things are not to my liking, what can I do to change it, if I can?

That is how I’ve embarked on this year of doing different. Each day, I try to do/think a little different, not stepping into the same pothole down the same road. It’s led me to a challenge of painting on the same canvas for 30 days. The challenge travelled the same path I was already on. Making little brush stroke changes each day over 22 days can change the whole picture in the end. The ‘mistakes’ guide me to make better. What a beautiful picture/life we can create over time with willingness and a little effort. I am satisfied with my Grace (I have named her) in 22 days.

Today I have started another canvas. I am not pleased with it at all. So dark and gloomy! I will have to perform magic to make it beautiful. But it does have the beginning look of a cherub, though a grumpy and pouty one. I shall be patient with my brush strokes and give it 30 days. She shall make Grace a delightful companion for 2017. We could all use a companion to make our treads on this earth a little lighter and brighter. Happy New Year everyone!

SNAPSHOTS AND A FEW WORDS Day 55- 60 in a year of…..

Posted on September 20, 2016 by hafong

Day 55- 60, September 20, 2016 @ 8:34 pm

I have been missing in action for too many days. The longer it is, the harder it is to return. Life gets busy and it is easy to fall off the wagon. But marking my days and progress is important. I make the time and effort to return and show up again and again even if only in a snapshot and a few words via Instagram.

It has been a long day. It is late and I am tired. I will say goodnight and end with today’s Day 60 from my Instagram post. I am very happy to have arrived here with today’s insight. Hopefully I can return tomorrow with a longer post.

Day 60 in a year of doing different. The bread is baked and cooling on the rack. Lunch ate. Dishes and pans washed. At last I can put up my feet and sit with my tea. The days are going fast and slow. I am already/only on day 60 of 365. It all depends on the angle of your view. Today I caught a different glimpse into the nature of people and myself. Those glimpses are gifts. They are fleeting so I must mark them for remembrance. What I’m finally understanding now is that some people cannot own up to their mistakes – no matter how costly in energy and stress it is to others and themselves. What I see in myself is that I want my justice – no matter how costly in energy and stress to myself. Now I do understand and accept that some people cannot admit their mistakes. With that, I feel a softening in me. Is that compassion and forgiveness? Whatever. I’m letting go of stuff. I’m happier with myself for it.

#day60 #ayearofchange #views #humannature #owningup #mistakes #justice #compassion #forgiveness #lettinggo #photochallenge #taleswithfriends

MAINTENANCE – Day 23 in a year of….

Posted on August 14, 2016 by hafong

Day 23, August 14, 2016 @4:25

I do wonder each day if I could make it back to this place. If I do, would I have anything to say? I’m here.

It’s easy to get excited about projects and resolutions. The trick is maintaining the enthusiasm and momentum. Without them, you could come to a full stop like the billiard ball just before the drop into the pocket. What is desirable is the domino effect – showing up day after day, no matter what. Some days are better than others.

I try to maintain if unable to advance for the day. I try not slide off the mountain. It’s a long ways down and longer to climb back. I try not to analyze too much. I do wonder sometimes why it’s such an effort to pick up something dropped. Why is it easier to walk around it? Now I stand and agonize for minutes and pick it up. I do it for other hard-to-do things. It’s a lazy brain thing. I am sure I will have many minutes of agony before my brain can see it’s not hard. No pain, no gain. Is that true?

Showing up is agony sometimes. But I want to change the agony to ecstasy. I’m not a sucker for pain. Onward we go! My half sweater parts are unravelled. I have found a pattern book. I’m ready to knit my life back up again. Are you ready?

Till tomorrow.

Day 8 in a year of…

Posted on July 30, 2016 by hafong

Day 8, July 30, 2016 @9:10 pm

I’ve left my musing for the day too late. Now, I’m sitting in front of the television with the laptop on my knees. Sheba insists that we watch television in the living room after supper. You might think that it is crazy to be controlled by a dog. But then it is us who has trained her by our own habits. Dogs are creatures of habit. So here I sit. I hope I can think. I could turn my TV volume down. Sheba has excellent hearing.

The morning started well, considering I had trouble sleeping last night. I got up, made up, selected my earrings and other jewellery. I’m experimenting with doing different. It is ok to do more, even too much. How else will I learn? There are no wrongs or mistakes in playing and trying out. I thought about angles, lighting, posture and background for my selfies. It takes practice to feel comfortable in making faces – even with no one around. After a week, it is starting to feel fun.

I don’t know how ideas travel, do you? Where do they come from. It popped into my head this morning that I should repeat the Mindfulness Summit. I did the month long series of mindfulness in October 2015. Each day had a different speaker. Today, Melli O’Brien interviewed Dr. Mark Williams. It was very helpful and pertinent to my project.

Assessing and writing at the end of today is not a good thing. I am tired, feeling the heaviness of the heat and humidity. I can hardly think and type. But I am doing the best I can. THE thing is to show up here in this space each day to tell you how it was. I hope you are here for me. Till tomorrow.

Day 4 in a year of choosing something different

Posted on July 26, 2016 by hafong

I love these salad days of summer when the grass is green and love oh so mellow. Oh, I’m stealing words from the song, Try to Remember. I’m feeling melancholy and nostalgic. No worries, though. Melancholia and nostalgia have always been part of me. I’m glad to have them aboard. They are restful companions. They help me when I’m tired and need to slow down. But I’m still here, dressed, made up, and different earrings on. Sorry, another selfie. I’m practicing saying I love you to myself – baggy eyes and all.

It’s 4 in the afternoon and I haven’t crossed off a thing on my to-do list. Usually the list is all in my head. But I’m choosing to make hard copies to see if it makes a difference. It has only 4 things on it. Pay bills. Bake bread and Sheba’s biscuit. Vacuum. I have turned on the Roomba. Thank God for robotic vacuums for these hard days! At least I made a list. I still have time to do and cross off a couple of things. But forget the bread and biscuits!

I am done in by summer heat, humidity and long walk with Sheba this morning. And making a detour at our plot at the Community Garden. I harvested a huge turnip, some beets and a few carrots. It was a heavy load to carry home as is. Next time I shall take a veggie bag besides doggy bags. I had to have a snack and a nap before I could clean and prepare the veggies and lunch. But it is all done. I sauteed the turnip greens. They were delicious if a bit tough. Next time I will blanch them a little longer. This was another first.

The Queen is barking. She is out of water. Must go and fill her bowl and then pay some bills. Hope you are having a good day. I like my accident with my header photo (feature image) yesterday. I decided to do it again.

I leave you with the music of Try to Remember.

A SECOND CUP OF CHAI

Posted on September 30, 2014 by hafong

I am feeling discouraged this morning. The weight I had lost in the winter have all come back – with no help from me, of course! I feel them heavily, sinking my spirit to the ground. They sit on my hips, pushing and keeping me down. I sigh and sip my sweet Chai.

Oh life, why must you try me so hard? When I’m up, you bring me down. You even blotted out the sun this morning. There’s a brisk breeze blowing through the trees. My purple petunias are bravely nodding their heads. They have seen better days. Their season is over. It’s time to put them to sleep. I can see today is one of those days.

My head is like a jukebox sometimes. A thought or feeling is like a coin in a slot, triggering a song. The Byrds are now singing Turn, Turn, Turn. There is time for every purpose under heaven. Perhaps, it is signalling me to relax and let go of the uncontrollable.

Image from google.ca

I’m having a second cup of Chai, sans the honey and milk. That much control I have at this moment. I can’t speak for later. Sometimes I think the food manufacturers slip things into the food to get us hook. Why else do we have these cravings? The grey is making me a bit paranoid besides wanting to hibernate and add to my adipose layer. Damn it! I’m not letting that happen – much.

I’m in danger of running out of words, ideas and inspiration. I better save them for the Alice in my wonderland. I have, howerver, roused myself from the doldrum of lethargy and taken a run at the day as best I could. That’s all one could ask of oneself.

I’ve gotten up, dressed up and shown up. The bed is made, breakfast over and dishes are done. I’ve made a small batch of sunberry sauce. The aroma of sweetness, ginger and lemon spices the air. Sheba and I have walked, talked and barked at people and dogs. My little furry white neighbour is gazing at me intently through the window. I can feel his eyes boring into my back. He brings a smile to my face as I am tap, tapping away here.

Sheba saunters into the room. Looking up and out the window, she sees her teaser. She rears up on her hind legs and barks at him ferociously. He looks back, nonchalantly as to say, Who, me? What did I do? And so it goes. Every dog has its day, too.

How are you doing on this fine day? Want to share?

A MONTH IN REVIEW

Posted on April 30, 2014 by hafong

The sun greeted me this morning. No more Groundhog Days! Yipee!

It goes to show that there are beginnings and endings. ‘This, too, shall pass’ is true. I can believe it now and will again and again. I will hug it to my heart for future reference for difficult days ahead.

I’m looking ahead to beautiful days in spring and a hot growing summer. But I’m also looking back at the month of April to see how far I’ve come and what I have learned. Each day is a step forward for me. That is what a challenge and a commitment did for me.

I HAD TO GET UP, DRESS UP AND SHOW UP.

Now, I am reaping my rewards. I have 30 posts, one for each day of the month. It is very satisfying! And it really isn’t THAT difficult. Each day I just put one foot in front of the other. When you make a start, something always follow. It is no rocket science. I sit at the keyboard and the words come – somehow.

And just so comes my doodles. I see the picture in my mind and somehow they come out of my fingertips onto my iPhone screen. How amazing is that! I have to thank my FB friend Janet Riehl for telling me about the doodle apps on smart phones. I’ve been doodling ever since. When I am surrounded by greyness, rain or sleet, I can surround myself with my own light and colours. We can choose and create how we want to live our lives.

Perhaps that is the biggest lesson I have learned in these 30 days of April. I can choose how to be in each and every moment. Some days the choices are harder and fewer but I am still the captain at the helm. I get to steer. Of course the sailing is much easier if I know where I am going. That is another challenge!

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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