DAY 16 UBC – CHINESE AIR FORCE DAY

Chinese Air Force Day

It’s Friday, Chinese Air Force Day. You know – Fly day! Get it? I’m having a joke on myself. It’s good to laugh once in awhile even though I’m not the laughing kind of girl. I’m super serious. I was still in a ranting kind of mad about not asleeping well because of bright city lights this morning. What you get when you hang onto rants is not good at all. I learned it the hard way. This morning I was still constipated as all get up. I ate 2 prunes last night with no show. Then I ate 2 more this morning. It was difficult and painful. It was like having a baby! Sorry, too much information and sharing.

I’m somewhat better. I was late getting to the aerobics class this morning. My mind was all afluttered and distressed. I was still teed off and suffering the side effects of the sleeping pill. I had to pay more attention driving. I could have easily gotten into an accident. It was nice my classmates helped me assembled my equipment for the tabata class. I have to admit I didn’t give it my all. I faked some of the hard stuff but I still worked up a sweat.

After lunch I went shopping for black out drapery lining. Thanks to Martha DeMeo I learned something new. I never knew of such a thing before. Now I can make my windows totally light proof. I had a little trouble finding things but it prooved to be fun. I rambled away at another customer on a different search. I bounced off ideas on her. What do you think of this and that? It helps to have another input. While I was there, I picked out the hardware to put it on. The bonus was everything was 50% off. I didn’t do the cheapy thing like a true Chinese either. I treated myself with NICE.

I had hated to cover up my nice warm wooden framed windows with built in venetians. Now I am excited with doing an do over. Besides, sleeping is more important. I can solve a problem even if there is no cooperation. Life is good. Change is good. I have a new project. The material is heavy and nice enough. I can use it as the curtain. I can dress it up with some stitching or embroidery. I love the curtain rod. It’s a good accent. I am grateful for challenging times.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW

Bear with me. What I really want you to know is I hang on to stuff, afraid to let them go. What I’m afraid of is that if I let go of anything, life as I know it will be lost. Sometimes I’m afraid to breathe. What if I breathe wrong? Everything would go amok. So I hold it until I have to let go.

Last night after getting out of my bath, I was brushing my teeth, doing this and that. I saw on my vanity glasses filled with this and that. I saw one filled with various sizes of makeup brushes. Brushes years and years old. But they were still in good shape because I hardly used them. I thought: why do I still have them? Of what use are they? They are just collecting dust.

It took some moments before I could trash them. I could/might start using them again. What a waste throwing them out! Such thoughts passed through my head. Then sense prevailed. I haven’t used them for at least 15 years. Why would I now? Into the garbage they went,  all 4 of them.

It was not painless. I felt uncomfortable, a sense of loss. As if a few makeup brushes could make or change life as I know it.  I think that’s why we hang onto things/thoughts/habits. We are afraid that we/life will be less without them. We are not emptying/ridding what is passé to let in new life.

I will sit here for awhile with the discomfort. I am okay. It will pass. I will go on.