Tag Archives: faking it

HEAVEN, I’M IN HEAVEN

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I’ve felt the heavens shift today. I think I’m going to be ok. I’ve painted my blues away. When the going gets tough, I fake it and keep going. What else can I do? Pout, stay in bed, cry, give up? I did none of those. I kept my daily schedule. I ate lots of chocolate chip cookies and some ice cream. I said no to exercise classes and swimming. I didn’t shower yesterday. I haven’t yet today. I don’t smell, not sweating much. It’s winter. I read. I painted and painted on my little index cards with watercolours. I’m working ahead on my 365 Somethings 2018 project. That’s what I do with my excessive energy. Now I’m feeling almost like an artist. I am an artist!

Suprisingly, I don’t feel any fatter. Not any slimmer either. I guess I have Sheba to thank. She still dragged me out for walks, like it or not. When I look around the house, it is not any messier than its usual state. Astounding! I must be doing something right, sticking to my good habits. They have stuck with me through thick and thin. I’m ecstatic. I’m in heaven. I could dance without music.

I AM MY SUNSHINE – day 124 and 125 in a year of…

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Day 124 and 125, November 27, 2016 @8:21 pm

img_8502Make hay while the sun shines.  I love proverbs, don’t you?  Life could be easier and better if we heed them. I was glad that I did yesterday.  I made hay while the sun shone. I basked in the warmth of my sunroom, letting everything fall off my shoulders.

Today is another story.  No sun and no warmth from the greyness surrounding me.  I was not happy, needing the sun to stimulate my feel good cells.  But I faked it and carried on.  I made my own sunshine.

I remembered my nephew used to phone and leave messages for me when he was very little.  One time I came home from a 12 hour work shift and found his message.  ” You are my sunshine, My only sunshine…”  I thought of him today.  I remembered going to my sister’s one day and found him doing his chore – washing the stairs.  That was when he was a little older, of course.  I thought that it was something I could do today.  It would be one step closer to having a clean and neat house for the new year.  Since I am bigger than a little boy, I  washed the upstair and downstair bathrooms as well.

yekw6444I am feeling proud having fooled my gloomy cells and rising above them.  I keep telling myself, I CAN, I CAN.  With bold steps, Sheba and I strode into the grey. We found that it was not as grey once out from our shackled thinking and feelings.  The world exploded into colours that widened our lenses and opened our hearts.

So good to have this space to come to at the end of the day and unload. Good night and God bless.

FAKING IT – Day 35 in a year of

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Day 35, August 26, 2016 @6:09 pm

IMG_6649Egad!  I am here in this space in the same state of mind as yesterday.  Not any earlier either. It is habit that has enabled me to be here.  A well worn groove in 35 days.  If it would help my fatigue, I would scream.  It wouldn’t.  I’m grinning and bearing and faking it.  I hope I make it soon.  In the mean time I’ll just keep moving and faking it.  In Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, Dr. Ratey states the results are the same (good) even if you don’t feel enthusiastic while exercising.  So I am kicking up my heels and pumping my arms to the music of Mama Mia and following our instructor, Val.  Monkey see, monkey do is do-able.

I can do that, is what I say to myself all day.  I gather the cucumbers, pick the beans, the tomatoes.  I prepare them and put them all away.  I took all the laundry off the line downstairs, folded and put them all away. I was dying to sit down with a cup of tea.  I was really looking forward to it.  Then I got a call from the guy.  He said he got a flat tire.  Come and get me at SuperStore.  So I did.

GNZT9121Then I sat down with my cup of tea and my book.  I felt I’ve really earned it today.  It is a very good book.  Hard to put down.  I finished my tea.  Then it was wine and cheese.  It is amazing I’ve show up.  See, I could feel whatever I feel.  It doesn’t have to affect the result.  How are you doing?  What are your results?

Till tomorrow.