Tag Archives: doing better

Pausing

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It’s day 8 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I got day 48 of #the100dayproject under my belt. These challenges are working for me. Putting my commitments in writing and making them visible make me more accountable. It’s strengthing my perseverance muscle. When I feel myself reverting to my old ways or thinking of doing it, something inside gives me pause. In my mind’s eye, I see my written words. And I am saved from falling into the same hole again.

I need not to paint a master piece or write a great piece that will go viral. Something small will do just as well in keeping me moving along. I’ve been going into the greenhouse daily in the mornings. Sometimes I just want to have a look around. Other mornings I plant a few seedlings before the call for breakfast. In a few days a whole bed is planted with snowpeas, spinach, radish and Gai Lan (Chinese broccoli). The overcast sky this morning was perfect for transplanting. The young seedlings will take better without a hot sun.

Pausing works for turning around my bad attitude. I hear my whine and grump. It doesn’t sound so nice. It’s voiced but it doesn’t have to continue. I can stop and say I’ll be better the next time.

THE BEST TIME TO START

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Photo by Reynaldo Yodia on Pexels.com

September 11th.

Yesterday I vowed to do better. I’m going to do it, starting today. Right now is always the best time because if not now, when? When I put off something, it’s a good bet I will forget and it never happen. So here I am showing up on the first day of the rest of my life. It feels good to show up for myself. I have just paid all my bills. I am not as late as I had thought. When something feels good, I tend to repeat it. Being here, writing out my thoughts and feelings feel good. The rhythm of tapping on the keyboard soothes and smooths my brain and helps organize my thoughts. I don’t know how I fell off my writing wagon. But I am back.

Today is another hot day, probably summer’s last hurrah. We took the opportunity to harvest some of our potatoes in our allotment garden. I haven’t always been a fan of hot summer days but we’ve had plenty of them this year. It’s either adjust, adapt and acclimatize or suffer. My body took over and acclimatized. Who wants to suffer, eh? Much to my own surprise, I find now that I am happier to work in sun and heat than in cool, cloudy and windy weather. Of course I would prefer a sunny day that’s not too hot or windy. But who can order a perfect day?

We went early in the morning before it got hot. It was perfect. We got 3 rows harvested, filling 4½ buckets. We have 2 more rows to harvest another day. It was a hard morning’s work. I don’t think I could pick up any more potatoes. My exercise classes at the YWCA helped alot. I could deadlift the buckets of potatoes up to the back of the truck. I took a little break to quench my thirst with my homemade apple juice and to do a few stretches to loosen up my muscles and joints. It’s always good to stop, have a rest, stand back and assesse one’s progress in everything that we do.

PRIORITIES AND GETTING THERE

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Life goes on no matter what happens to me. Nothing stops. The planet turns. People go to work. The buses, trains and planes are arriving and departing. Someone once said to me that men are like buses. If you miss one, you can always catch the next. We have one life. We can’t have another – unless you believe in reincarnation. Even then, it is not a sure thing. I rather bet on a sure thing, this one precious life. I want to live it the best I can.

We are one collective breath, breathing in or out of rhythm. I rather be in tune with the earth and cosmos. I’ve been out of synch too long. I’ve had a few aha! moments. I’ve said I would do better. I do and then I forget – again. I’m saying it again now. I don’t know what number this is, but it is the truth of life. That’s why they say it is a learning experience. I shan’t beat myself about another failure. I shall stay aware and do my best until I forget again. I’ve always come back and try again. I am a success story.

So here’s the thing, the stories we tell about ourselves. I’ve had to learn to tell different stories. The old ones weren’t working. They bought me down into a dark abyss. The walls were too slippery for me to climb out of. I don’t want to stay there. I started to call myself the little train that could. I toot my whistle. I switch onto a different track. I want to get to a different place.

So here I sit, still tapping about trains, buses and planes. I’m brainstorming and dreaming of new possibilities. I try not to overthink everything but just be in this moment. I try not to do anything and everything. It’s all right to be still and silent. I listen to the sound of one hand clapping and look at that hole in the donut. I will relax, breathe and contemplate on my navel. I will put one foot in front of the other till the end.