Tag Archives: changes

CHANGES – Endings and Beginnings

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IMG_3103The dishes are done and laundry hung. The Roomba is operating on its own in the living room. There’s still a million things to be done but isn’t there always?  The tomatoes can wait. A few more hours on the vine will sweeten them more. That goes for the grapes also. Everything can wait.

It’s time for me to put up my feet and have my tea. What is it with us girls?  We just can’t do without our cuppa. Life is so much better and easier with this pause in the day. I like to sit here in my favourite spot and savour the experience. Thoughts, pictures and words parade through my mind.

IMG_3088It is September, end of summer and the beginning of another season, school and work for some. For us it is a return to the city from the lake. Endings, beginnings and changes are ever with us. But for all that, the more things change, the more they remain the same.

It is easy to slip back into the same old ruts. The grooves are deep and the mud is sticky. It is only with grit and determination that I don’t fall over the slippery slopes again. Past experiences are painful but I do learn from them.

My ugly sister, my evil twin showed herself again, whispering her thoughts and feelings. I believed her at first but then I had to ask. Is that true?  She was silent. I forgave her lies and loved her anyways. I loved her that was part of me.

We are stronger knowing we are part of each other. Even though with all the things that remain the same, we do not have to be the same. We can do different.

SHIFTING

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IMG_2885What I know for sure is there is no certainty. The world according to our plans does not exist.  Faced with reality, there is no comfort in known adages the likes of:  You are not getting older you’re getting better.  You are not alone.  You are beautiful just the way you are.  Funny how time and circumstances can change my outlook.  Once upon a time, I believed in those truths.  Now…I am older  wiser, and more vulnerable. I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore.  Perhaps it is with the shift of the planet and the sun.  I feel and smell the coming autumn.  The sun comes up a bit later.  Its slant and quality a little different.

I feel a little melancholy with the change.  It is not a bad thing but somehow I do feel inadequate and apologetic that I do not put on a brave face and say regardless, the show must go on.  To whom, I do not know.  Yes, I would like to stand tall and be the Wonder Woman of my dreams.  I want to pump that fist and give life that confident pump.  But I do not have the bravado to fake it till I make it.  I wonder if it is true.  Maybe I CAN fake it – not to make it, but to become it. Life and our planet are shifting.  Things are never the same.  We stand on feet of clay in the sand.  I am shifting.  I am changed.  Maybe I need to change my stories, too, along with my posture. I can learn to strut and punch like the Wonder Woman that I am.  They say body language sends powerful messages about who we are.  I want to pump it up a little.  So what if I am faking it?  Do you want to make something of it?  Bring it on!  I’m ready.

PRIORITIES AND PROCRASTATION

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IMG_6596If you are a friend of mine, you will know that I am obsessed with self-improvement.  It is my habit to read and gather information of how I could change for the better.  I don’t know if I ever put the knowledge into application.

They say that recognition is the first step towards a journey of a thousand changes.  At least I got that.   I  often just sit on my duff, read and gather, looking for yet more information.  So let me be a little more proactive and use this month to propel myself forward into action and towards towards changes.

How can I succeed in this journey?  What tools do I need?

  • Goals
  • Commitment
  • Priorities
  • Courage
  • Patience
  • Flexibility

I am committed to carry out my actions every day this month.  Next month is next month.  I am already setting my priorities for the NOW instead of later.  It is important for me to do my morning quigong routine.  It is a must.  The movements set my body ready to meet the day.  The breathing and quietness fuels my brain and heart.

So here’s to my courage, patience and flexibility.

wine

 

 

 

 

POSTCRIPT FROM THE LEDGE

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IMG_3934You’ve made it to retirement and if you think you can just fall back into life again, guess again!

It’s not that easy.  The life you once knew is no more.  For one thing, you’ve grown up.  No, you’ve grown old – pensionable and pensioned.  You can no longer fit into a size 5, 7, or 9.  Even a 10 is stretching it.  Now you are breathless just bending over to tie up your boot laces.  What the hell happened here?

What happened to all my plans that I saved up for ‘when I retire’?  Not that I am bored with nothing to do.  I have too much to do but don’t know how to do it.  The world I knew has changed and I am hanging from the ledge.

Deep breath now.  Relax.  Remember that you are probably not alone.  You have the tools.  You have the words.  You can write your own script.  This life is but a dream and you are the dreamer.  So dream the life that is meant for you.  Be brave.  Be daring.  You are already on the ledge.  Be vulnerable.  Be true.  Be you.

SMALL WINS

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I’m back reading The Power of Habit.  I’m learning the power of small wins.  So I’m giving myself a small bouquet and a second cup of tea for a reward.  I have done well this morning.  Sheba is brushed and fluffed, the floor is cleared of her hair with a damp mop.  It is time to savour my small victories in the warmth and sunshine of my sun room.  Oops!  There goes the sun.

No matter!  I am buoyed by the information in the book.  I CAN change my habits for the better.  I CAN make life better and some parts of it easier.  Empowerment comes with enlightenment.  We don’t have to go down the same old roads if they don’t take us to where we want to go.  We CAN change directions.

My big win today is getting Sheba brushed and the floor cleared.  My small win…taking last year’s calendar off the window and into the recycling.  And it’s only January.  Sometimes it hangs outdated for most of the year.  They say little changes/wins spills into big ones.  I don’t need to start a revolution or a movement.  Somehow they tend to burn themselves out.  No banners, drums or marching for me, but I will IDLE NO MORE.

I will do the hard work of changing one thing at a time.  I will exercise my will power , muscle one day at a time.  I WILL evolve into a conscious human being.  Amen.