another post

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER POST

It’s that time again wherein I sit down, get down to business and write. What should I write about? Should I tell you about my day, my humdrum every day? I’m a morning person now. Been so for quite a few years. I look forward to getting up between 6 and 7. Seems like there’s a lot to look forward to – even in these times. Though I’m feeling a little stressed, cranky and a bit down in the dumps, I haven’t lost that looking forward feeling. Thank God. I do have a bit of attitude but I don’t want to have nothing to look forward to one. I have standards.

I am trying to break loose of ‘stuck’ with nowhere to go and no stars to reach for. It’s not a good feeling and I don’t want to stay in it. Exercise has always worked great for me. I was looking forward to heading back to the YWCA pool and swimming. The universe has other plans for me. The pool needs ‘fixing’. It’s been out of service for a couple of months already. So, it’s back to the AM ENERGIZER. It really is one. I’m feeling so much better already after one session. I’m sure I will feel it tomorrow, not having used those muscles for quite awhile.

I decided it might be a good exercise to visit the library again. It was one of my favourite places before Covid. Why can’t it be again? I am disappointed that it is not the same. It does not have the same scope of material it once did. Seems like the city politicians are slashing the wrong budgets, not seeing the importance and scope of the public service the library provides. It’s good for education, socializing and mental health just to name some. Should we just throw up our hands, accept and say. Oh well? Or are there things we can do? It is something to think about while we are stuck here in this Covid time.

Having come back to my keyboard and tapping my heart away, I am not feeling as overwhelmed. I think I have all my tax receipts gathered. This month’s bills are paid. I am doing my daily drawing and watercolour. My desk and dining room table are littered with papers, pens, paint and whatnot. They are a disaster but there is no emergency. I’ve set a goal that I would date and label my creations each day. I would find something/somewhere to hold them in one place. Baby steps as one might say. I really hate that term because I am no longer a baby.

Well, there you have it. Another day, another post. No Pulitzer Prize here. Just some words. They still count.

THE WEATHER, THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME AND OTHER EXCUSES

Good morning! January 7th and day 7 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. The dog and I had a good night of sleep. I’m still feeling the yuckiness of all my recent lack of though. The effects of sleep deprivation has long and lasting footprints on our physical body and mind. I should know having done shift work for over 30 years. I existed on a daily average of 5 hours of sleep. I prided myself on how well I functioned on so little.

I was stupid for wearing that badge of honour. I wonder how much of sleep deprivation played into my ‘blues’/SAD. I blamed many of my failings on the weather, others and other stuff. Even though I knew better, I rarely thought it was the sleep thing though sleep was our/a nurse’s main vocabulary. Did you sleep? and Are you on days off?  My sleep deprived brain was not firing on all cylinders. It’s been limping along as best as it could.

I’ve read somewhere that it takes about 6- 7 years to recovered from long-termed (20 years) shift work. I’ve worked over 30 years doing 12 hour days and nights.  I’m in mine 7th year of retirement. I’m a recovering, almost recovered sleep deprivedaholic. I still have little bouts of sleeplessness. I still blame the weather, the woman next door and other excuses. I have to have a place to lay some of the blame. It’s too much and heavy on just myself. Even so, I try to take responsibility by taking action and moving towards living a meaningful and productive life. Some days are better than others. Some things are easier to do than others. I try taking one step at a time to be stronger and more resilient.

The biggest shift I’ve experienced  was 3 or 4 years ago when I joined an aerobics class at the YWCA. After a month of an hourly class 3 times a week, I felt euphoric. My senses became alive. My head felt so clear and I could see so well. I remembered going wow! driving on the freeway. The view in front of me was panoramic and sharp. Everyone thought I looked so good. Those effects have diminshed as I got used to my new state of well being. The memory of it have kept me on track and to get back on when I have derailed.

Travelling through the last month or so of 2019 has brought another shift. This time in my thought processes and emotions. I’m sifting through the debris to find the nuggets of learning and wisdom. It takes patience, hard work and time. It works best when I put the words, thoughts, events, feelings and what have you onto the page. Those are my trusted tools. On that note I’m ending this post. Another day and a few mumblings. Sheba and I have travelled to the park and back. We made our 2 rounds, romped and talked with our fellow walkers. We hope for another peaceful evening and a night of sweet dreams.