TAKING TIME – Day 61 in a year of…

Posted on September 21, 2016 by hafong

Day 61, September 21, 2016 @8:06

I realize today that I must take the time to do the things that are important and the things that I love. I can’t make more time. But I can take time for these things and for myself. I am here. This is important. And I love the tap, tapping of the words. It is rhythmic. It is poetic. It is the song of my heart.

I have been good at deceiving myself, saying “when I have time, I will do…” and so the piles pile up. Things go incomplete. Dreams stay in Neverland. Wishes in the well. I saw all that in a flash today. Feeling fatigued and sweaty, wishing for a soak in the tub in the middle of the afternoon. Feeling squished by many chores to be done. Laundry brought home from the lake, defrosting the freezer, and …I was squished by it all.

Even the mundane of life are important. The laundry and freezer were a must. I breathed. I cleared my mind. I did the laundry. I defrosted the freezer. I soaked in the tub. I had time. I took time. That was it. It was wonderful. I have to remember to do it every day – take time to do the important and the lovelies. Did you take time today?

SNAPSHOTS AND A FEW WORDS Day 55- 60 in a year of…..

Posted on September 20, 2016 by hafong

Day 55- 60, September 20, 2016 @ 8:34 pm

I have been missing in action for too many days. The longer it is, the harder it is to return. Life gets busy and it is easy to fall off the wagon. But marking my days and progress is important. I make the time and effort to return and show up again and again even if only in a snapshot and a few words via Instagram.

It has been a long day. It is late and I am tired. I will say goodnight and end with today’s Day 60 from my Instagram post. I am very happy to have arrived here with today’s insight. Hopefully I can return tomorrow with a longer post.

Day 60 in a year of doing different. The bread is baked and cooling on the rack. Lunch ate. Dishes and pans washed. At last I can put up my feet and sit with my tea. The days are going fast and slow. I am already/only on day 60 of 365. It all depends on the angle of your view. Today I caught a different glimpse into the nature of people and myself. Those glimpses are gifts. They are fleeting so I must mark them for remembrance. What I’m finally understanding now is that some people cannot own up to their mistakes – no matter how costly in energy and stress it is to others and themselves. What I see in myself is that I want my justice – no matter how costly in energy and stress to myself. Now I do understand and accept that some people cannot admit their mistakes. With that, I feel a softening in me. Is that compassion and forgiveness? Whatever. I’m letting go of stuff. I’m happier with myself for it.

#day60 #ayearofchange #views #humannature #owningup #mistakes #justice #compassion #forgiveness #lettinggo #photochallenge #taleswithfriends

STUMBLING THROUGH MY Days 52, 53 and 54 in my year of ……

Posted on September 14, 2016 by hafong

Day 52-54, September 14, 2016 @3:04

It has been a few days since I’ve been here. Life happens and I cannot show up as planned. I do the best I can. I am here now, tapping out my words and thoughts for those days.

Doing different isn’t easy. It isn’t difficult. Every day there are numerous opportunities of doing different, of doing better, of turning a different page. We must seize that moment to answer when they knocking on the door. The same moments will not come again.

But as I have just said, life happens. If you don’t hear or can’t answer the knock, so be it. Let go the regret or berating of yourself. The opportunity is gone. Be more attentive and answer the next knock. Life is full of them. You can be sure of that.

On this 54th day of my year of doing different, I’m sitting back, enjoying the fire in the woods. I’m trying to heed my own words. It’s difficult not to strive, worry and regret. It is possible to change – one little act at a time, one day at a time. Some days you will stumble. Who hasn’t ever?

When was your last stumble? Did you fall? Till tomorrow, I hope.

TEDIUM – Day 43 in a year of …

Posted on September 3, 2016 by hafong

The truth is life can be tedious, painfully so sometimes – like today. There’s nothing to be done but to bear it. I’m afraid I can’t grin. It is entirely my own fault, having slept too much when we were in the woods. It was so delicious, curled up in the soft fluffy comforter. But when you sleep 9 – 10 hours each night for a couple of nights, it catches up with you. You guess it. I had a restless, not much sleep last night.

I’m paying for it today – feeling not quite kosher, achy, limbs heavy like cement. Sheba does not understand ‘tired’. When it is time for her walk, she barks and barks. I have to get up. I have to make the effort. We go around the block. She does her business. She’s happy and we’re home.

I’m doing my business, too. I’m moving one foot in front of the other. I’m doing one thing at a time. I disregard how I feel and move, however fast I can managed it. At the end of the day, I can say: I am not behind. I’m right where I should be. Some days even when everything in my body hurts and I’m as tired as all get out, it still feel good to move. I guess you call it rising and answering the call.

I’m happy I’m still making it here. Till tomorrow.

SELF-LOVE – Day 42 in a year of …

Posted on September 2, 2016 by hafong

This month marks a new chapter for me. I have 3 full years of retirement behind me. No more shift work, no more sleep deprivation, no work stress to complain about. It’s time for me to shift my focus away from all that and be here for me. Life calls and wherever I go, there I am.

Where are you? Till the morrow.

A PERFECT DAY – Day 36 in a year of…

Posted on August 27, 2016 by hafong

Day 36, August 27, 2016 @7:21pm

Day 36, a perfect golden August day of warm breezes and sunshine. Nothing to work on, no wants, no worries, no needs. Everyone deserves such a day once in awhile. When it comes your way, seize it. It’s an opportunity to sooth and rejuvenate yourself.

I reveled in the glories of the day – not seeking nor solving. How was your day?

Till tomorrow.

AN UNEXAMINED LIFE – Day 29 in a year of….

Posted on August 20, 2016 by hafong

Day 29, August 20, 2016 @1:38

Clouds and Joni Mitchell’s BOTH SIDES NOW had me thinking about the duality in our lives – how nothing is what it seems/what you want. It’s really not what I want to dwell on. But didn’t Plato say that an unexamined life is not worth living?

I really would like just my way of things. That never works so now I must step out of myself and have a different look at the world around me. I never did get along with my neighbours on both sides – even now. Strange how that is when there are fences and walls.

Sometimes it is a very perplexing problem when you think you are minding your own and people fly at you with tooth and nail. After awhile you start to doubt yourself and wonder what part you played. You wonder if you are the crazy one.

It’s not good to think too much about this stuff. It’s good to trust yourself and your own goodness. Enough examination for today. Till tomorrow.

MAINTENANCE – Day 23 in a year of….

Posted on August 14, 2016 by hafong

Day 23, August 14, 2016 @4:25

I do wonder each day if I could make it back to this place. If I do, would I have anything to say? I’m here.

It’s easy to get excited about projects and resolutions. The trick is maintaining the enthusiasm and momentum. Without them, you could come to a full stop like the billiard ball just before the drop into the pocket. What is desirable is the domino effect – showing up day after day, no matter what. Some days are better than others.

I try to maintain if unable to advance for the day. I try not slide off the mountain. It’s a long ways down and longer to climb back. I try not to analyze too much. I do wonder sometimes why it’s such an effort to pick up something dropped. Why is it easier to walk around it? Now I stand and agonize for minutes and pick it up. I do it for other hard-to-do things. It’s a lazy brain thing. I am sure I will have many minutes of agony before my brain can see it’s not hard. No pain, no gain. Is that true?

Showing up is agony sometimes. But I want to change the agony to ecstasy. I’m not a sucker for pain. Onward we go! My half sweater parts are unravelled. I have found a pattern book. I’m ready to knit my life back up again. Are you ready?

Till tomorrow.

DON’T SAY NO – Day 21 in a year of….

Posted on August 12, 2016 by hafong

Day 21, August 12, 2016 @3:04

The day has a way of getting away on me. I’m sitting here with my decaf, trying to keep my eyes open, trying to find the words. One day I will drink real coffee again. The struggle continues. My brain is very lazy. Wanting the same easy. Wanting to sleep.

Mornings are the best for doing different. The world is soft in the morning mist. The mind is open and the brain hasn’t dug its feet in against something new. I breathe in the freshness of the day, make my intentions and have my cup of tea. Mornings are my best. I use them as springboards into the day.

It doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. I do. Today being Friday, was an exercise day. Monday is for mostly straight aerobics, Wednesday, step aerobics with weights. Friday for the most of the summer has been just aerobics. But today I walked into the gym and saw that the instructor had stations set up. It was a circuit training day. I went: Yuk! My brain and body seized up. From past experience I knew that I would like it once warmed up and into it. So don’t refuse to do something different. It can be good for you.

My decaf is done. I’m more awake. Virtual exercise helps, too. Now on to making some dog biscuits for Sheba. Till tomorrow.

SLEEP – Day 18 in the year of…

Posted on August 9, 2016 by hafong

Day 18, August 9, 2016 @5:47

My brain is not working well today having had only a few hours of sleep last night. I have a headache and the stomach has been upset for a large part of the day. This is because we took our house guests to the airport at 3:30 am. Having returned an hour later, we were unable to resume our sleep. I was able to have a short nap in early afternoon. But I do not feel that much better.

I shudder to think that was how I lived for over 30 years – mostly sleep deprived as a nurse. I would say I was probably getting 5-6 hours of sleep most days/nights after a 12 hour shift, catching up on days off. The most frequent question we ask each other was, Did you sleep? The next one was, Are you on days off?

Research have shown that shift work is really bad for your brain. A decade of long-termed shift work can knock 6 years off memory and thinking skill. So what will 30 years do? There is a whole host of health hazards associated with sleep deprivation and shift work. It’s scary stuff. When I was right in the middle of it, I prided myself on how well I functioned on little sleep. I was probably not thinking clearly at the time. Now I know better from experience.

Better sleep habits will be foremost on my list of musts. I know that if I go to bed earlier rather than later, I can get to sleep faster and better. Here’s to better night of sleep. Till tomorrow.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

Tag Archives: a year of change