Tag Archives: a year of

Day 9 in a year of…

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Day 9, July 31, 2016 @3:14 pm.

IMG_6820I am showing up at my keyboard earlier today.  But it is not any easier.  From the distance of now, this morning was easy.  But I do remember having to take a tylenol to get it started.  It is never easy.  I just have to get here and peck out one word at a time.

This morning I sat with Melli O’Brien and Joseph Goldstein for day 2 of the Mindfulness Summit from 2015.  I was more mindful, jotting down key points.  The point that meant the most for me is that mindfulness is not a hobby.  It is about the totality of IMG_6812our lives.  Goldstein also stressed on:

  • Being  simple and easy
  • Being with what’s happening
  • Practice in coming back again and again
  • Perseverance
  • discipline
  • courage

I’m listening to that advice.  The sky has broken open.  Thunder is rumbling.  The rain is pouring down, drumming on the deck roof.  I will take the day easy and simple.  I will be with what’s happening – listening and watching the rain with Sheba on the deck.  I will be back tomorrow.

Day 8 in a year of…

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Day 8, July 30, 2016 @9:10 pm

I’ve left my musing for the day too late.  Now, I’m sitting in front of the television with the laptop on my knees.  Sheba insists that we watch television in the living room after supper.  You might think that it is crazy to be controlled by a dog.  But then it is us who has trained her by our own habits.  Dogs are creatures of habit.  So here I sit.  I hope I can think.  I could turn my TV volume down. Sheba has excellent hearing.

IMG_6797The morning started well, considering I had trouble sleeping last night.  I got up, made up, selected my earrings and other jewellery.  I’m experimenting with doing different.  It is ok to do more, even too much.  How else will I learn? There are no wrongs or mistakes in playing and trying out.  I thought about angles, lighting, posture and background for my selfies.  It takes practice to feel comfortable in making faces – even with no one around.  After a week,  it is starting to feel fun.

IMG_6802I don’t know how ideas travel, do you?  Where do they come from.  It popped into my head this morning that I should repeat the Mindfulness Summit.  I did the month long series of mindfulness in October 2015. Each day had a different speaker.  Today, Melli O’Brien interviewed Dr. Mark Williams. It was very helpful and pertinent to my project.

Assessing and writing at the end of today is not a good thing.  I am tired, feeling the heaviness of the heat and humidity.  I can hardly think and type.  But I am doing the best I can.  THE thing is  to show up here in this space each day to tell you how it was.  I hope you are here for me. Till tomorrow.

 

 

 

Day 6 in a year of…

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Day 6, July 28, 2016 @3:43.

IMG_6738Summer afternoons are delicious for drinking beer and taking naps.  I’ve had my little nap but I better wait till I’ve tapped out some words before I crack a can.  Otherwise, I might fall over my keyboard.  Asian women cannot hold their liquor.  At least not this one.  It isn’t fair.  So many things in life aren’t.  But at least, I’m getting better at doing selfies.  Oh, no, not another! You say.  Sorry but yes, another.  It’s never too much to say, I love you to myself.  I’ve waited all these years to start.  I’m not stopping now – or ever.  I will stop the selfie one day when I really feel love and acceptance residing in my core.

These days of getting up, making up and showing up have given me structure.  When I am not feeling my best, I’m looking my best.  I take note, sit/stand a little taller.  I don’t feel as if I had fallen off a vegetable truck – even if I feel it. When I look in the mirror, I’m surprised and delighted.  I can push on to another day in the year of choosing something different.

I’m glad I took up this project.  There’s really no right or wrong time to do anything. When an idea captures your imagination, you have to act on it.  Otherwise, nothing will happen. Nothing.  There is so much dead air in that word.  Nothing.  Say it again.  It has the sound of a heavy metal door closing.  Nobody has the key.  You are trapped in that nothingness.IMG_6736

That is not where I want to be.  I want to move ahead.  I’ve crossed off two items on my list today.  Working on another and maybe another.  I will add to it each day, too.  There’s movement.  There’s trying and doing.  There’s life.  

Now I will crack open that beer and grab a plate of snacks. Want to tour my front yard and see what is new?  My petunias are still in full bloom.  I have planted a honey suckle and clematis by the water tank.  I hope they will thrive and grow and climb up its sides to add aesthetics to it.  In the raised beds, the hot chilli peppers are numerous, carrots  in various stage of growth, green and bulb onions, Romaine lettuce, kale, and cucumber.  Not a bad yield at all.  How is your garden doing

COMING HOME -beginning a year of…

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I can’t believe that I’ve been away since May 11th.  Coming back, sitting here, tentatively tapping at the keyboard is both exhilarating and uncomfortable.  The familiar sound and rhythm are soothing.  I am stretching to find the words.  I am starting a new project.

I haven’t been happy lately with how life and the world have unfolded.  I would hazard a guess that I have a lot of company in that respect.  I am disappointed with how I am unfolding.  I am not living up to my own standards.  See what I mean?  I am beating on myself again – repeating past history.  I want to change.  If I change my actions, maybe I can change my brain.  My brain is hardwired to my habits – or is it the other way around?

I DareOur world is dark and gloomy but magic still resides.  Merlin is listening, waiting with his abrahcadabra!  After I expressed my wish for change, I found Luann Cahn’s book, I Dare Me among my bag of library books.  The wish was already in me and the Universe knew.

So here I am, embarking on this new venture – a year of consciously doing something new.  I can do it. This confidence and optimism is new.  I CAN DO IT.

I will not be bungee jumping off a tall building in Las Vegas.  Or sky diving or mountain climbing. But then I don’t know where this project will take me.  For now, the challenge of change and writing about it every day will be exciting enough.

IMG_6563To mark this special occasion of change/transformation, I have clipped my hair.  It’s like popping that champaign bottle for me. Here I am post clipping, fresh from the shower, no mousse.  Not short/daring enough.  Next time.  I see I could use some makeup.  That would be something new for me – makeup every day.  I do hate those girls who takes such lovely selfies.  Another first – expressing my envy!