About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.

Use It or Lose It

Posted on April 2, 2024 by hafong

Photo by Monstera Production on Pexels.com

Whew! Finally sitting down at the end of the day. I’ve been a busy little bee since morning. It’s so easy for me to sit and read or scroll, thinking I’m learning and gathering information. I’ve been doing that for ages. I’m not sure how much I’ve put all I have learned into use though. Now having learned from Jim Kwik that learning is an action, I’m going to be more active instead of just sitting around and accumulating info.

The saying use it or lose it is very true. That is why I like the regular practice of writing. I’m exercising my brain in the use of words, their spelling, how to express and idea, etc., etc. I work out at the gym three times a week to keep my body strong and moving well. It is also good for the mind and spirit. They also get a workout by my going out in the world where there are other people. I learn how to socialize and function with people.

I was working early in the greenhouse early this morning. The newly planted snowpeas and spinach are looking well. I seeded some lettuce and Swiss Chard. This is the first late start for me. Other years I would have had lots of big seedlings of tomatoes and other things already. I have to admit that I have not been all that excited this spring. You can lose excitement, too, if you don’t practice it. I think I’m okay now. I am recovering it.

I made a batch of fermented beets this afternoon. We had a big crop of that, potatoes and carrots the past fall. It’s one thing growing them but it’s another to look after them. If you don’t use them, you lose them. Then what a waste of our time and energy of this one life we have, eh. I think I’ve past the critical stage. I’ve saved myself and not losing it. So ends the second day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can now relax and let myself go to pots.

A Wakening

Posted on April 1, 2024 by hafong

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

April 1, Fool’s Day and first day of the April Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve signed up again, committing to write a post a day for the month. It’s a good practice for the brain and the spirit. As usual I have no plans as I have no business or products to promote. I am going to show up each day and chat. Hopefully I will have a rapt audience. Why not, eh? One should aim for the moon, if one is going to aim at all.

It is Easter Monday. I wonder if it is the day Jesus rose from the dead. I like to think so. Easter has lost much of its meaning for me. I felt a flatness where once I felt a reverence all through Lent to the whole of Easter. Not this year or last year. I have not notice whence it disappeared. But today, I feel a bit of quickening, a wakefulness, a tiny bit of interest and joy from within. Perhaps, like Jesus, I’m rising from the dead, the deadness of the spirit.

I feel spring is finally here. I think I hear the running of the sap. Maybe it’s my own blood circulating. The sun is shining bright. My planted seeds are germinating and bursting forth. The greenhouse is 30+℃ with 2 vents opened. I’m looking forward to planting my snowpeas later in the day when it is a bit cooler. I will not have to worry and fuss about temperatures dropping below 0 at night. I am a happy camper.

It is an auspicious start for the month. I am hopeful, my flatness and glumness dispelled. Time to wrap up, have a snack and tackle the greenhouse.

Learning to Learn

Posted on March 30, 2024 by hafong

Photo by 42u0440u0438u0439 on Pexels.com

I’m learning to dig myself out of my chaos but it is a very slow process. I’m learning the how of learning. I’m super motivated after watching a Jim Kwik talk on Change Your Brain, Change Your World on Gaia. Wanting to learn more, I’m reading his book Limitless. I am surprised to see that it has many poor reviews from readers on Goodread. I find the book, like his talk, quite inspiring. He also have many videos on Youtube. Here’s his 6 keys to rapid learning.

The video on how the digital age is affecting our brain is most valuable for me. We are now so attached to our gadgets that we are always on 24/7. It is hard to have a moment of rest. Because I have such an addictive nature, it is difficult to resist that scroll button on the phone. That is until recently when I my brain began to hurt by so much information. My Facebook feed was flooded with posts from the Dull Women’s Club. Most of these women were pretty interesting and not at all dull. I couldn’t stop reading. Though so interesting, it became too much. My head was experiencing physical pain and I had to exit the club and edit for less posts.

It gave me pause to wonder why I was spending so much time on strangers’ lives and not my own. Am I that dull? Am I not worth some thought and self care? This is where I am at the moment – taking some time to reflect and tend to myself. The other day, sifting through my paper clutter, I found a stale-dated cheque. It wasn’t the first time. Lucky for me, it was of no consequences. It did point out to me that I need to wake up and tend to this one life that I have.

I am learning to be more mindful, to be in the moment – again. I am learning to relax and enjoy empty, idle moments again. The results are almost immediate. My brain has stopped hurting. It is going to be ok. I have memorized 2 important phone numbers. I will add more and different numbers as I progress. Onward to learning to learn.

Habits – Making and Breaking

Posted on March 26, 2024 by hafong

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

It seems habits are difficult to make and to break as well. Why is that? I wonder. It’s a difficult and dumb question to ponder after a sleepless night. But who says I’m smart? Not me when I’m still struggling with the same old, same old problem of paper clutter. How many years have I been bitching and whining about it? How many years have I talk about working on it? Yet here I am, still stuck in the same groove. Not only stuck but sinking deeper into the pile.

I have this dread of opening my mail. I don’t know why but I’ve had it for decades. I hate reading and dealing with it. I have learned to open the bills after some expensive late fees. I guess I have taken a few steps forward. Now I’m snowed under with tax receipts and bank statements. The clock is ticking loudly. It’s forcing me to open a few more envelopes and making my head hurt. But it’s good that I’ve started. I have 5 weeks to get my ass in gear.

It’s not that I don’t have a goal or intention. I know what it is I want at the end of the rainbow. I always intend to do better but I haven’t. I think I don’t know how to get there. I’m lacking methodology, clear and concise steps to reach the pot of gold. I’m overwhelmed and lost before I start. The first step I must take is to open the mail when I get it right away. Then go from there. The Ultimate Blog Challenge for April is coming up. I will take the opportunity to work on making good habits and breaking my bad ones. I will open each piece of mail from now till end of April and hope it will stick.

WHY I WRITE

Posted on March 19, 2024 by hafong

You might wonder why I write and make posts on social media. Someone once unfriended me on Facebook because they thought I was so prolific. Ever since then, I feel a bit self conscious. I know it is silly but I feel obligatory to explain. So here I am.

I write because I love words and ideas. It helps to organize my brain. Writing is an action. It helps me to remember words, how to use and spell them. If neglected, I forget and have to rely on google and spellcheck. You know what can happen then. The written word registers more with me than the oral. I can read directions whereas I don’t follow verbal ones that well. I’ve learned how to cochet, knit, and other things through written directions.

I’ve learned how to operate my Bernina 790 sewing machine that way. It is a very complicated machine with many functions. I could not retain much of the directions from the in-person hour session at the store. But the manual is always at my fingertips and I can refer back to it time and time again. When I follow each of the steps on my own, I understand it more.

Writing is a way of working out problems for me. It is a mental workout, releasing mental and emotional stress through mental perspiration. Pictures also work that way for me. I post photos and words on social media not because I’m full of myself. Most of them are pretty boring and mundane stuff, but they are interesting to me. Putting words and pictures together is an art form to me. It’s how my brain works. It gives me pleasure. It’s a good enough reason and easy enough to do to stay a bit sane and happy.

How To Grow Old

Posted on March 17, 2024 by hafong

There’s a woman on Instagram who wrote a book on how to grow old. Her name is @iconaccidental alias Lyn Slater. It should be an educational and interesting read. I wonder if I have time to wait for the paperback version or until it is in the library. The clock is, as they say, ticking. I would like to get some pointers sooner rather than later.

Meanwhile, I have searched the world wide web and found a few pointers.

Learn to cope with change.
Find meaning and joy.
Stay connected.
Get active and boost vitality.
Keep your mind sharp.

Then I found this video on Youtube. He talks about purpose. I found it quite helpful and it is only 14 minutes long.

I think I am doing mostly well. I’m just experiencing some low spells. We all go through that, right? My best teacher in growing old is my mother. She is 92. She is still very sharp, engaged and as active as her body will allow her to. She and my father are still living in their own house and cooking their own meals. I always feel better after a visit with them.

THE BUTTONS I PUSH

Posted on March 16, 2024 by hafong

Here I am again. Wow, 2 days in a row! I’m doing/feeling better today. I’m swimming out of the dirty dishwater into a sunnier disposition. I’ve finally found not only the unstuck button but a few others as well. Some of them are not so helpful or healthy. I have to be careful of the ones I choose. They can get me stuck again if I am not mindful. They’re the ones that can trap you into wasteful hours of nothing. We’re all vulnerable to that addiction. We’re very much like kids. Watch them. If they see a button, they want to push it.

I’ve decided it is a good and mentally healthy habit for me to be here regularly, tapping out words and thoughts. It will be an exercise session for my mind and spirit. It will be a conversation of one with no interruptions and judgement. Here I can wrestle with my demons, try to see all sides of the story/argument. After, I can laid aside pent up frustrations and wipe the sweat off my brows. I hope it will be a way for me to feel connected to the world and myself again.

I think we all crave conversation and connection. I’ve just joined the Dull Women’s Club on Facebook. So far I’m enjoying the conversations. Seems like a lot of us are craving real conversation and real lives. I would say that none of the women are dull, but very interesting in their own unique dullness. It does not spark envy but interest and admiration in me. I hope it will stay true and not get spoiled. If it does, I guess I can hit the exit button.

WHAT AND HOW

Posted on March 15, 2024 by hafong

I haven’t done very well at all at starting, never mind starting over. I am stuck at the starting line forever and a day. Each day I would say later, then it’s tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes. But I’m finally sitting before my keyboard – to see if I can locate that unstuck button and get to GO.

I am not afraid but am ashamed to say I’m not feeling any joie de vivre -no exuberant enjoyment of life at the moment. I wonder where it all went. I feel grey and detached like dirty dishwater. But not to worry. I am not standing on any high ledges and in danger of falling over. I am stuck. I do not need to be rescued. I am just doing some heavy sighing, not complaining or feeling sorry for myself.

Life and some relationships are long journeys. Even if you are in paradise, there’s bound to be some troubles. I say it’s good to bitch a little, to say it as it is. But I am careful (if I’m mindful) to rant in a safe place to a safe person. When I’m miffed, I just need an ear, not advice. I don’t want someone to disagree with me and give me a lecture. It makes me feel worse. I feel angrier and therefore a bad person. I want that someone to be on my side no matter what and not defend the other. Too much to ask for, I know.

So I am just sighing and pondering on the what could give me back that excitement of just being alive and how to get there. I am proud that I’ve at least come back to my safe space and tap out a few words. Words always had some magic for me. Words and pictures. Cross my fingers for some magic to come my way.

STARTING OVER

Posted on March 7, 2024 by hafong

I have a million and one things to do, to fix, to organize, to…. But I can’t get started. Nothing works – not waiting till tomorrow, not after another cup of tea/coffee. And so I pushed it all towards the back of my mind. It hovers and nags at me continuously. I play repeat – wait till tomorrow and now I am making another cup of decaf. My head is a nest of crawly ants and swarming mosquitoes. How to get some relief?

I think of starting over, turning a new leaf, unbecoming myself. I think of my words for the year – be brilliant and resilient. What would that mean? How to get rid of the ants and mosquitoes and be calm and peaceful? I want to be like Patience and Fortitude sitting through the seasons through all kinds of weather, without a sigh or whisper.

Patience and Fortitude, the “Library Lion” statues, in a December 1948 snowstorm – Wikipedia

The first order of business would seem to be quiet and still – to weather the storm, whatever it may be. The question is how? The first thing that came to mind is James Clear’s Book, Atomic Habits – tiny changes, remarkable results. Instead of thinking big, I could think small. I could do one small thing/day along with my #100dayproject.

I like the word could. It has a positive, hopeful ring to it. Could leads to possibilities and not a dead end. I will follow it.

LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION

Posted on February 11, 2024 by hafong

The problem with slowing down and stopping is that you might never get started again. This is the pickle I’m often in. Right now I’m drowning in inertia. I need dynamite to blast me off my behind. The easier solution would be not to stop completely but to cut back a little. I cannot rest on my laurels.

I’m looking for inspirations to get moving, to get beyond looking at a blank screen, an empty canvass, a desk and tables full of clutter. I feel languid, wanting to close my eyes and mind. I want to be somewhere else, doing something else and being someone else. In other words, I want an escape hatch. I’ve gone down one too often. I know this because now I forget how to turn on my sewing machine, my record turntable and I wonder where the heck are my pepper seeds.

I thought I better come back to my keyboard and see if I can tap out some magic. I’m still in good time for starting seeds. I’ve found the pepper seeds along with onion and eggplant seeds. It’s none too early to start them. My potting soil is being hydrated. It is dry as can be but not frozen from being in the garage all winter. It’s a wonder really. That’s the kind of winter we’re having. There’s no predicting what the summer will be like. I would like to find that escape hatch back to normal. Wouldn’t you?

In the meantime, I best trot downstairs and seed those few things . It might be a good idea of start some snow peas to plant in front of the rock wall in the greenhouse. They like cool and it’s warmer there. Wouldn’t it be cool to get some peas or pea shoots in March?

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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