About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.

You Can’t Go Home Again

Posted on April 23, 2024 by hafong

A beautiful sunny April 23 morning to you. I’m looking down the last week of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve been successful in showing up almost every day, having missed just once. Coming to the keyboard early in the day makes the words flow better. My mind is still relatively fresh, not corrupted by the events, thoughts and feelings accumulated through the day. Writing about things that I am familiar with and passionate about makes it that much easier.

My head and thoughts are still on The Woman in Gold, the movie about Maria Altmann, an elderly Jewish refugee living in Los Angeles. She was 82 when she embarked on recovering her family’s paintings by Gustav Klimt. They were stolen by the Nazis during WW11. Two of them were portraits of her aunt, Adele Bloch-Bauer. Though the odds were against her, she did win. The movie was a great interest to me because of the history and the art.

It reminds me about my family’s journey out of China. I was 6 at the time. My paternal grandfather and father were already in Canada then. When we(my grandmother, uncles, my mother and I) left China for Hong Kong, there was no thoughts of us not returning home. All our worldly possessions were left behind. These included all the gold jewellry in my mother’s dowry, gold gifts on my birth plus my grandmother’s gold were left behind in the safe keeping of our relatives. My grandmother had always wanted to return to the house my grandfather had built for us.

Life got in the way. We never went back to China. We ended up in Canada. Our relatives kept and spent what we left behind. Now they have immigrated to the U.S. They have visited us a few summers ago. My cousin’s wife talked to my mother about how beautiful her jewellry were. I think they still have some of it but did not offer to give any back to her, not even the gold hairpin she described so vividly. My mother didn’t ask for any.

It was always my dream to visit our village one day. I got as far as Hong Kong and a bus ride away. It was not to be. I was there at the wrong time of the year, when everyone was going back and I couldn’t get a bus. Then I had plans on another time. Politics got in the way. Now, I do not have any interest. Sometimes you just can’t go home again.

Stories From my Mother

Posted on April 22, 2024 by hafong

Day 22 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I got sidetracked by Gia Carangi’s story enroute here. What a sad tale about a beautiful woman who had it all in a couple years and to lose it all equally fast. Then to die of AIDS at age 26. It sucked the energy right out of me. I could have done without the story. I am so easily sidetracked. I am so human. Not much will power today.

But if I was having coffee with my mother, her stories would be more uplifting even if they were sad. I never get tired of her stories no matter how many times I have heard them. I’ve learned alot about our family’s and China’s history from her stories. There were stories of hardships during the Japanese invasion. Then there were the times of Mao’s communism when my grandfather escaped with his life to Hong Kong. My grandmother was arrested and jailed in his place. Too many stories of that time to recount here today. My mother and her siblings always talk about those times whenever we visited them in New York City.

She has happy stories, too, of them growing up. There were 7 of them. My aunt was the oldest, followed by 3 brothers, then my mother and then 2 more brothers. I think that my aunt had the best childhood, being in peace time and no wars. She had more schooling. My mother was not so lucky. She loved school but only got to grade 3 because of the Japanese invasion. My grandfather was a teacher and principal of the school. He was also the mayor of the village. Because of that some people who were jealous accused him of corruption when the opportunity came.

When my grandmother was dying, she was angry with him. Because of his work, she had to suffer. I think she was 71. She had lung cancer. She and my grandfather were in New York then. I missed the funeral. I was in Saskatoon going to university. My mother said the funeral procession was very long.

Traps and Crap

Posted on April 21, 2024 by hafong

I’m looking at a bright and shiny Sunday April 21 morning. It is -2℃ outside and 7.3℃ in the greenhouse. My head feels pretty clear. I’m tackling the day before it’s gets messed up with useless crap from scrolling. I have already wasted time on Youtube watching to see who is the love of Brad Pitt’s life. It was a trap. It never said, just went on and on with the parade of women.

I am often lured by such tricks. Such is my curiosity about such things. I’m finally asking myself the question WHY? Why do I have to get to the bottom of things? What is the payoff? So what if I know the answer? I’m finally wise enough to know that mostly it doesn’t matter a squat. Knowing will not enhance my life. And sometimes/most of the time, there are no bottoms to get to. Quit wasting my time. It’s better to live my life instead of wondering about other people’s.

Yesterday, I started the arduous task of tending to this one life that I have. There’s so much of it tied up in paper. I have been gathering and shovelling them into my file cabinet. Others I have just left on my desk, gathering dust. A recent death of a colleague/friend touched my heart and mind, reminding me that life is a business that I must look after. Though afraid, I opened the cabinet door and envelopes and looked within. After an hour, I was left exhausted and with a headache. More to do today and the day after and after. Feeling not quite so afraid.

Saturday Morning Humour

Posted on April 20, 2024 by hafong

Photo by Alyona Pastukhova on Pexels.com

A cool but sunny morning. I couldn’t get my early morning fix in the greenhouse. The door was frozen. No way it would budge. I had to wait a couple of hours for it to warm up from 5+℃ to 10+℃ before I could get in. Everything is hunky dory in there. And in a short time the temperature went up to 10.5℃.

Talking about hunky dory, some people might not know what I’m talking about, especially the younger crowd. Hmmm. I’m aging myself. I was surprised that my nephews didn’t know what going to the biffy meant. (bathroom) So I was greatly amused to read a friend’s post on FB about this. I have to share it.

No wonder generations don’t understand each other:
Heavens to Mergatroyd!
The other day a not so elderly (I say 75) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy; and he looked at her and said, “What the heck is a Jalopy?” He had never heard of the word jalopy! She knew she was old …But not that old.
Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory when you read this and chuckle.
About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology.
These phrases included: Don’t touch that dial; Carbon copy; You sound like a broken record; and Hung out to dry.
Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie . We’d put on our best bib and tucker, to straighten up and fly right.
Heavens to Betsy!
Gee whillikers!
Jumping Jehoshaphat!
Holy Moley!
We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley ; and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China!
Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes, and pedal pushers.
Oh, my aching back! Kilroy was here, but he isn’t anymore.
We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” Or, “This is a fine kettle of fish!”
We discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent, as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.
Poof, go the words of our youth. Where have all those great phrases gone?
Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It’s your nickel. Don’t forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper.
Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I’ll see you in the funny papers. Don’t take any wooden nickels. Wake up and smell the roses.
It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills.
This can be disturbing stuff! (Carter’s Little Liver Pills are gone too!)
Leaves us to wonder where Superman will find a phone booth.
See ya later, alligator! After a while crocodile. Oki-Doki artichokey

So how’s everybody on this fine Saturday morning? 10 days left for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. 10 days left to do my taxes. Yike!

After the Snow

Posted on April 19, 2024 by hafong

The snow has finally stopped. The sun is making a showing. The greenhouse stayed above 0, the lowest temperature being 5.6℃. I can breathe a sigh of relief. The thought of losing all the seedlings was a bit distressing. I think that’s all behind me now. The greenhouse is now sitting at 22.8℃. The top vents have opened a little. I took in 2 pails of snow to melt.

Today I’m working on keeping a beginner’s mind. What the heck is that? you might query. It is to look at something or situation as if for the first time. For me, it is having an open or no mind, having no judgement and bringing no past feelings and experiences to the present moment. It is a very hard concept to understand first and then to practice it. I will probably fail many times. Then have to try and try again many times. I succeeded today, thus saving myself some misery. The effort was very worth it.

It helps to think of a beginner’s mind as a child’s mind. Children don’t have any expectations, preconceived notions, or past experiences to limit their view of a situation. They also have endless curiosity towards something new and are open and eager to learn. They are opened to a world of possibilities. I like to watch them at play. They teach me alot about being in the moment and making a concerted effort.

Resilience

Posted on April 18, 2024 by hafong

When I woke up this morning it was still snowing and the wind still blowing. It is still. The snow is piled up against the greenhouse door again. The two pails of snow I took in yesterday did not amount to much when melted. All is cosy inside, the roof being insulated with the cover of snow. The little heater is running. The temperature barely 6℃. Being no sun yesterday there was no residual heat built up to help the heater. As long as it’s above 0 that is good enough.

While not feeling stressed, I am not exactly ecstatic or joyful. I wonder how the plants are feeling in these times of climatic change. I will pay close attention. They might teach me the art of resilience by how they grow and perform. It will give me a sense of purpose in observing and helping them to thrive. We are all connected. We need plants as much as we need other people to survive. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

I’m deciding what to do with my #100dayproject – of a daily painting for 100 days. I’ve done up to day 58. I’m tired and not so enthused any more. I feel I’m regressing, my colours muddy. Perhaps it’s fatigue talking. I can paint simpler things. I can also take longer. I can also quit if it doesn’t bring me joy. That’s what Marie Kondo would say.

I am still surviving the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m learning changing the time I come to the keyboard makes a difference.

Snowy Wednesday

Posted on April 17, 2024 by hafong

The snow came as promised. Along with it wind. It feels wintery except that it’s not cold. The snow is wet and heavy, weighing down the branches of the neighbour’s spruce trees, but not my spirit. I feel just fine, thank you very much. I’m happy we’re getting this moisture to quench the earth’s thirst. I’m getting used to the unpredictableness of the weather and life. It’s a rocky ride. I’m hanging on.

Everything is cool, meaning ok in the greenhouse. We have a little heater that turns on when it gets below 7℃. There’s the rockwall and buckets of water that hold in the heat during the day and give off heat at night. So the heater seldom runs unless we have a long stretch of cloudy cold days. Seeing that the snow was piled up by the greenhouse door, I filled 2 buckets to melt inside for watering. I see that 2 of the photos are a bit blurry. Drat! They will have to do. They’re good enough. So ends day 17 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Waiting for the Snow

Posted on April 16, 2024 by hafong

It’s a cool overcast morning. I felt the weather in my left hip when I woke this morning. There’s 50% chance of shower today and 70% chance of snow tomorrow. I see it as all good. It’s moisture for our thirsty earth. While I’m waiting for all this, I want to keep moving on down the line. I have been sitting and pondering too much in the past. I have not yet acquired the skill of letting go. I sit and think too much about the mystery of everything. Now I see that most of the time there are no mysteries. I have given people and things too much credit. They just are what they are. There are no hidden depth or meaning.

So on with the show – day 16 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I like to live by #46 of Regina Brett’s 50 life lessons from God Never Blinks. It has been my motto for many years. And I have gotten up, dressed up and shown up, no matter my mood.

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
Overprepare, then go with the flow.
Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
The most important sex organ is the brain.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
Always choose life.
Forgive everyone everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Believe in miracles.
God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
Yield.
Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

While I’m waiting for the rain and snow, I have prepped the paper for another painting for my 100dayproject. I’m a litle over the halfway mark. It is not always easy and fulfilling. Sometimes it is a drudgery. That’s the nature of a commitment. I have to work through those days. Next – I have potted up the bitter melon, zucchini and pumpkin seedlings. I have many more seedlings to repot. I can easily get overwhelmed if I think of it all. I don’t. I have to take one bunch and one day at a time. I can’t affort to look at the whole picture. It will deplete all my energy.

Things I Don’t Have to Do Anymore

Posted on April 15, 2024 by hafong

A windy and cloudy April Monday in Saskatchewan. Snow in the forecast for Wednesday. The weather, like life, is turbulant. The word turbulant started the jukebox in my head. The Everly Brothers are singing Ebony Eyes. The wind sounds like someone weeping. I imagine heaven is crying for the sorrows of the world.

It is a good day to lunch and be surrounded with friends, have a nice meal and share the good and bad times. It’s a good day to relax and let go some. It’s not a day to pick the cobwebs out of my head or do tricky math. Someone else can figure out to save the world today. I don’t think I mind shirking my duties. I am dang tired of doing the proper thing all the time. I found a list of 15 things I don’t have to do anymore on Tiny Buddha. Too bad I didn’t come up with them on my own.

You don’t have to wait for change.
You don’t have to accept anything you’re not comfortable with in your relationships.
You don’t have to ask for permission to do what’s best for you.
You don’t have to follow anyone else’s advice or rule book.
You don’t have to be afraid of failing.
You don’t have to be the same as you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago.
You don’t have to continue doing anything that no longer feels right for you.
You don’t have to feel guilty about saying no or accomplishing less.
You don’t have to ignore or suppress your feelings and instincts.
You don’t have to hide your pain to make other people feel comfortable.
You don’t have to go it alone.
You don’t have to fix anyone else or make them happy.
You don’t have to be ashamed of your past. .
You don’t have to worry about what’s coming in the future.
You don’t have to stress about doing something big to change the world.

On Plans and Planning

Posted on April 14, 2024 by hafong

Beginning is the toughest thing to do. There are many things I want and need to do but how do I start? Often I am overwhelmed with indecision. I waste much time fiddling and twiddling, pacing and drinking tea. It’s a habit hard to fix. I have had it for so long that it is woven into my very fabric. I am not a planner. I live by the seat of my pants. I have no concrete plans for anything.

Perhaps I could make some changes to make life easier. I’ve done well so far winging it but I could do better if I sit down and write down whatever it is I want. Then break it down in simple small steps on how to get there. That would be a plan. We’re halfway through the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can start working on making plans for the second half. I found a few famous quotes to inspire me.

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
“By Failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done…you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do.” – Lil Wayne

How I do start the day is always with my morning tea. I used to meditate with 20 minutes of sitting meditation with Mark Williams on Youtube. I’ve given that up and play Wordle and Spelling Bee instead. My brain wants to busy. It feels wasteful doing nothing. I’m not sure it’s a good thing. At least I am not subscribing to play so the time is very short. I guess I do have a mental plan of limiting myself.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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