About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.

My One Wild and Precious Life

Posted on May 18, 2024 by hafong

I am thinking of Mary Oliver’s poem The Summer Day. She asks good questions but I have to find my own answers. I looking around and around at the wonders of my world – the tulips, the raised garden beds, the green in the greenhouse, my messy table percolating with some many possibilities. And I have to say like Satchmo, What a wonderful world.

I’m wondering like the grasshopper what else I should be doing. Recognizing that life is finite, I do not want to squander my precious time on things of no importance and things that are not dear to me. Yes, everything die at last and too soon. I cannot fit everything in and I cannot ever get on top of everything. I’m pondering and choosing what to do with this one precious life that I have.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean–
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

The Addict in Me

Posted on May 10, 2024 by hafong

A sunny May 10th. I feel as if I’ve been in constant motion the last while. I’m breathless with it. My head is in a spin and full of things I need/want to do. What I want/need to do is to stop and get off the merry-go-round. How do I do it? My head hurts thinking about it. You can stop your body but it’s not so easy with your thoughts. It helps to tap on my keyboard in a steady, slow pace and let the rhythm sooth my head and slow my breath.

I do wonder why I get myself into this mess. The more I do, the more I want to do. This is as bad as the sugar, tea, and many other addictions. The more I have, the more I want, even after they are no longer feel good. It’s a treadmill difficult to step off. I stopped smoking because I had to. I had pain shooting up my nose. That was when I discovered my nostrils were all tarry and I had incomplete sinuses. Then there was the year we had bacon and eggs every morning. That added up – the pounds, that is. And the year we had ice cream every night also put on the pounds.

After I quit smoking, I couldn’t stand the smell of smoke. The ice cream didn’t taste all that great after we stopped. Tea tasted blah after too many cups. And yet, it is hard for me to stop all these addictive things. I think it is a habit, the repetitive habit of lighting up a cigarette, making a cup of tea, etc. before I do anything, or if I get stuck on doing something. I’m also addicted to doing challenges on social media – writing a blog post/daily for a month and doing an activity for a hundred days. They are all good things until I get obsessive about them. Sometimes it would be healthy for me to miss a day or two or even to just quit. Just to show I can stop.

I’m all revved up, typing up a storm. I should just stop now to show that I can. I can and I will. I need to chill.

In Motion

Posted on May 4, 2024 by hafong

A brighter Saturday morning. The sun finally came out after a few days of grey and rain. The rain was very welcomed. My water buckets for the greenhouse are full. I’m trying to keep my momentum going. If I can’t go fast, I’ll go slow. I don’t want the domino effect of going too strong and being totally wiped out in a whoosh. Slow and steady like the tortoise is my aim. Not that there’s any chance of me being a speedster. But there’s a possibility of me breaking some records when I’m 100 years old. That’s on the account of being the only one in that age category. Wouldn’t that be something, eh?

With that in mind, I’ve done my morning stretches. I have been working a little harder in the weightroom lately. I have a few stiff and achy muscles. Crowded and perched upon a high stool for a few hours at a music venue last night did not help matters. Post stretching, I’m feeling more relaxed and limber. Before giving in to relaxing with another cup of tea, I vacuumed the floor to fulfill my desire for order in my surroundings. One small deed. It will also help to clear my mind. A clear floor=a clear mind.

Some of my seedlings are outgrowing their pots. The broccoli are growing long and lanky. I think I will plant some of them in the raised bed and covered them with a crop cover. That will save me work of repotting them. It will also free up space in the greenhouse. They like the cool. I will plant some of the bigger cabbage seedlings, too. That will be enough gardening and moving for me today.

Momentum

Posted on May 3, 2024 by hafong

It is the merry month of May though its beginning has been cloudy and cool with rain and snow. I think it is a good beginning. The moisture is much welcomed by me and many others. Though the Ultimate Blog Challenge is over, I still want to come to my writing space to tap out a few words and ideas. I like to keep my fingers and brain limber. Wiyh the UBC still fresh in my mind, habit is the momentum to keep me going at least for awhile.

Every new day and month is an opportunity to begin a new, to change and make new goals and pursuits of what I desire for myself and the world. The world is too big a place to begin so I will begin with myself. On this new day and month, I crave clearness of mind and order in my surroundings. When I think of change I feel the immediate weightiness of what that means. It is difficult to get out of the comfort of my ruts. Comfort feels good and who wants to give that up, eh?

May may not be a month of merriness after all. There’s work to be done for change. I have to suck it up, buckle up and move it to keep the momentum going.

A Month of Words

Posted on April 30, 2024 by hafong

It’s here – the last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. All good things and bad ones, too, come to an end. This one has been more of a pleasure than others in the past. I can’t say it was effortless. Some days were difficult to get the words out. Those days I had to work and push hard to get past the block. Doing so gave me more confidence. I’ve learned that if I come to the keyboard, the words will come.

What have I learned? I’ve strengthened my stay-with-it muscle by continuing and finishing when I I felt blocked, dull and bored with it. I felt not as motivated when others fell off their writing block. It always felt better with others’ company. But it builds character to carry one’s own torch and not mind what others are doing. I am inspired by others who also carried the torch through their difficulties. I have much gratitude for their shining examples.

Much thanks to Paul Taubman for leading us through another Ultimate Blog Challenge. He is a powerful leader of the pack. Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts, knowledge and interests.

Self Talk – No Laters

Posted on April 29, 2024 by hafong

It’s the second last day in April, the second last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m coming late to the keyboard. I’m also coming tired. I like to say I’ll do this later. But there is no later. Later might be too late. Lately I’ve been coaching myself to do it now. Now is the time to do it because when I put off things for later, I forget and then it’s another day and another later. Sometimes I have to make a list the night before. It works and things got done.

I would put no more than 3 things on my to-do list. I would more likely succeed with a few. Success has a way of making us feel good. It would encourage me to try it again. So I talk to myself to do it now. And here I am, tapping on the keyboard, making words for the second last day. It feels good to finish well what I have started. To each job there’s a beginning, a middle and an end.

Walk On By

Posted on April 28, 2024 by hafong

I woke up to a cloudy morning with raindrops on the windows. Looking out, I see that one of our tubs for catching runoffs from the garage roof is laying on its side. Well, that’s doing alot of good, I said to myself. The second thought was the season of what’s-her-name has started. I went out and righted it. The large rock to weigh it down was still in it. Must have been a mighty wind or a push. Our neighbour has dumped our rainwater into the back alley in the past. She complains it breeds mosquitoes. So we put a screen over the tubs. We try to empty the tubs as soon as possible before she does.

I have moved past getting angry and crazed by my neighbour’s antics. Being angry was not very effectual but very harmful to my physical and emotional health. It made me look like the one with the problem. Of course, I have tried to do the neighbourly thing – given her some of my plants, talking to her. It was an impossible task. She would not allow me to talk. Even the community police officer had a hard time getting in a word edge wise.

After many years of trying different ways, giving her no response is the best solution. Being human, I am not 100% foolproof. Sometimes I do lose it. I always pay for it. Then I learned some more on not reacting. I just have to keep on walking by with no eye contact, not saying hello. It’s not the neighbourly thing but a very wise thing to do.

Saturday Morning Thoughts

Posted on April 27, 2024 by hafong

A beautiful sunny Saturday morning. It is cool though at 0℃. Just when I think we’ve past all the cool, it comes back to remind me. The only sure thing is that there are no sure thing. There’s no it’s in the bag. Looking ahead, I see that there are a couple of 0s and -2℃ lows for next week. I have to remember that we’ve had snow on Victoria Day – the long weekend in May. It’s the gardeners’ date to put in the garden.

I’ve been patient and heeding that date this year. I’ve been holding back and not rushing things. Most of my seedlings are relatively small compared to other years. They’re easier to handle. We’ll see how the harvest is in the fall. The greenhouse is in its 4th year. I no longer try to get things going in late February/early March. Late March is soon enough. That also have saved me work from covering and uncovering, worrying and fretting. I’m learning to be a little more thoughtful in how and when I tackle stuff.

The best time is, of course, the moment when I see the need. Procrastination and pushing things to the back of my mind and closet will only create much hassle sooner or later. With that knowledge, I’ve just spent a couple of hours defrosting and cleaning up the stand up freezer. All the shelves and jars have accumulated a very thick layer of frost from the door not properly closed overnight. Defrosting the freezer was a snap. The frost melted quickly when the power was shut off and the door opened wide. Cleaning the frost off the jars was a chore. It’s all done. A big sigh of relief.

Three more posts left for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have done well, having missed 2 so far. I took the day off yesterday. I was tired and taking a day off is good for me. Sometimes I am too dogged about these things. I need to let go a little and then come back. I don’t have to be a dog with a bone. It’s not a to do or die. I know my priorities.

Hallelujah!

Posted on April 25, 2024 by hafong

I’ve done my income tax and I get a refund. It’s a good reason to sing Hallelujah with K. D. Lang. It’s my favourite rendition of Leonard Cohen’s song. K. D. in barefeet and no ads on the video either. What a treat! I want to do a Lia hallelujah pumping my arms. Hallelujah, hallelujah!

I like to do another rendition of her when time permits. My tax return has been sitting heavy on me for the last month or so. That’s the whole trouble. I allowed it to sit on me, weighing me down, gnawing on me. I couldn’t or didn’t want to do anything until time was running out. I was frozen with dread and procrastination.

The weight is lifted. I am left with a headache. I hope I can learn from this and get my act together. I have a pile of paper crap to sort, shred and rid. I will not say never again. It didn’t work many times before. Saying it will not help. I will save my breath and try something else – another day. I’m keeping it simple on day 25 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

What Gives Me Purpose

Posted on April 24, 2024 by hafong

Another beautiful sunny morning. It’s day 24 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I love waking up with the birds and sun. I’ve had my cuppa, played Wordle and Spelling Bee. I can beat Wordle most days but having trouble with spelling. I’m in a spelling rut but I can leave it without frustration.

I’ve made my morning trek to the greenhouse and planted my first tomato – a Sweet One Million. I disturbed the earthworms from their sleep. The soil was alive with them. I will plant one more later – a Red Torch. And that will be plenty in there. Real estate is at a premium in there. I want to make good use of every inch. It’s hard to envision now but it doesn’t take long before it’s a jungle. Here’s what it looked like last summer.

Going into the 4th year of the greenhouse, I’m working at maintaining my health and vitality. I need both to keep on growing our own food. I was careless last year and I suffered for it. Now I working out in the weight room, training almost like Joan. Growing our food, maintaining my health and that of our planet gives me purpose and meaning. It’s easy to relax, slide and let everything go to pots. All my little every day things keep me mostly on track.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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