Monthly Archives: October 2025

The Last Day

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Photo by Ana Arantes on Pexels.com

Today is the last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. To everything there is a beginning and an ending. It is only right I should come and close up shop. I’ve already did an assessment yesterday. There’s no need for another. There’s not much left to say. I have noticed this time around, many are writing and posting early and earlier in the day. There’s not much traffic quite early in the afternoon. It did give me a sense of abandonment in the beginning. I got over it and did not feel the need to hurry. So now I am just limping leisurely across the finish line. It is only 1:30 pm in my neck of the woods.

My life feels so busy nowadays. I am retired. I wonder how I managed when I was still working. Likely I wasn’t. But that is water under the bridge. Everything works out at the end. I am happy to be finished but I will be back for the next UBC. I am a week behind in the Inktober Challenge. I can catch up. There’s no rush.

It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect

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Here it is, the 2nd last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I haven’t made it here every day. I haven’t done too badly thought, missing only 3 days. It’s not a do or die or I must kind of a challenge. Sometimes life calls. And I had to answer. This business of living is not easy. None of it. I do the best I can. It has to be enough. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

In assessing whether I’ve stayed the course, I showed up 93% of the time. I abided by the rules. Read the 2 posts above mine and commented as best as I could. As to having fun, I wasn’t in the beginning. I struggled for the first few days, not having fun at all. But I warmed up, eventually thawing out and enjoying it all. So I’ve achieved my ultimate goal of working my way out of acedia. I am no longer in ‘a state of listlessness, apathy, and a lack of care about one’s life or spiritual condition‘.

I have achieved my wildest dreams.

Wordless Wednesday – Happiness is –

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Happiness for my 94 year old father is his new walk-in shower. He is still able to climb in and out of the tub but it was getting harder and harder. It is my pleasure to make this possible for him. The shower head is held onto the mount by magnetic so can be easily pulled off and be put up again. I will shop for a shower chair to him to sit in. My sister and I spent a 12 hour shift with him in ER Monday night. We are all alright. Our healthcare system is the way of our world – kaputs. We are thankful still for what we have and who we are. There’s always a silver lining to everything. I am half a pound lighter. Tickled.

Found

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Today finds me at another art show. It is the annual Men Who Paint Show & Sale. It is our third year. We are getting acquainted with the artists’ styles. Paul Trottier owns Hues Art Supply where I have taken some art classes. I am getting comfortable rubbing elbows with our local artists. It is surprising to find so many talented individuals in our midst. Here’s a few paintings from the show that spoke to me. They’re painted by Greg Hargarten.

Inspired by the art show and the quilt show these last couple of days gave me enough energy to dig out my log cabin quilt squares and try piecing them together. It wasn’t easy. First I had to get reacquainted with my Bernina sewing machine. It was quite a painful process for my brain. I gave myself time to clean and lubricate it. Then I proceeded from there. I didn’t try to perform magic. I just sewed a couple of blocks together. I had already done some years before and gave up. Now I’m back at it. I’ve found the will. I/it will be done. I am found.

Lost

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A sunny mid October morning. I’m sipping my second cup of tea. I am tired from yesterday and the day before. Age is catching up with me. Lunches, art galleries, quilt shows and coffee with my father are adding up. I shouldn’t complain and am not. Getting out in the world and connecting with others is always a good thing. It feels like I’ve been in a vacuum this past year. I’m slowly making my way out into the world again.

It feels a bit overwhelming sometimes, waking up to the world we have today. But I am here, caught up in the constant traffic along with the rest of humanity. It is a bit disorientating. I am reminded of the time I was in Hong Kong. It was on a Friday afternoon when people got off work early. I was standing on the sidewalk with people streaming past me. The sidewalk was like a moving escalator. I was, of course, lost, a foreigner among her own people.

I’m feeling less lost and not getting lost as often. I check and plan where I am going. Now there is a Googles Maps app. I can get directions livestream right to my ears. Now there’s not much getting lost but I still get stuck frequently, starting and stopping. Life is never perfect. Whatever would I do if it was?

Feeling stuck, I do a walk through the house this morning, putting away and throwing out things. I do a walk out the door and through the garden and the greenhouse, snipping and pulling. I hooked the hose to the water catchment and turned on the water onto the greenhouse beds. It could be the last watering. Then it’s time to stop and make lunch. Another day and no dollar.

Books Not Read; quilt not finished

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I’m in danger of a no show on this 23rd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I thought I best sit my butt down and get to work. My mind is scattered, neither here nor there. Today I’ve been out for lunch with my retired cronies from work. We don’t see each other frequently so it can get lively and lengthy. Then an hour later, I’m out for coffee with my father and some of our Chinese friends. It’s no wonder I’m all talked out and not much left in my head.

This is the year of short attention span. The only thing that can hold my attention is serious murder mysteries on Britbox. I want to do better than that. I’m working on reading but I haven’t been able to finish one book in a very, very long time. I still take out books that catches my eye from the library and on Libby. They’re free. The library no longer fine overdue books. The books online disappears on their own when the time is up. So why not, even if I manage to read a few pages here and there. I can still gleen nuggets of wisdom and I can enjoy short snippets of a story. I don’t have to have the whole enchilada.

I discovered the word acedia from Kathleen Norris’s Acedia & Me. At present I’m working on her The Cloister Walk because I am interested in monastic life. I don’t know how far I will read. I need just tidbits. I was reading Angela’s Ashes. It was quite interesting but I’ve left it behind. I’ve also left behind The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly. Am I not already doing that already? I don’t think I need instructions. I haven’t cracked open Water Mirror Echo: Bruce Lee and the Making of Asian America yet. I will soon. I am on page 39 of Caroline Myss’ Anatomy of the Spirit.

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I did not have enough gas to finish my post yesterday. I’ve covered only a few of the books I did not finish reading this year. I am working on getting my head together. I went to Saskatoon Quilters’ Guild Show and Sale this morning and was blown away by all the creative quilters in our midst. I was especially impressed and inspired by Debora Barlow. She was the 2024 National Juried Show Best of Show winner with the quilt Weir Fishing.

Possibly now I am inspired enough to finish my log cabin quilt that’s been waiting for years for me to put it together.

Wordless Wednesday – Vision Board – Table

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Thank goodness for Wordless Wednesday! The 2 goals I set for myself are to lose weight and to clear clutter. Today’s vision board is composed of photos of how I would like my tables to look most of the time – uncluttered and attractive. If I can keep these images in my mind, I’ll be more apt to succeed. Here’s fingers and toes crossed.

It is My Nature

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Another cool October day. I’m starting to repeat myself. That’s not what I want to do but it’s difficult to change my tune. We are really predictable. We all have our telltale signatures of how we speak, laugh and behave. I’ve been told my laugh is very recognizable. It’s nice to know that it is pleasant. I’ve been told by a few people that they love my laugh. I have heard some laughs that really grate on my nerve. I wonder if we can change these undesirable aspects of ourselves. Or are we doomed?

I like to think that we have some control, that we can change. But here I am, writing in my usual sad sack voice. Sometimes I am not sad but I must sound it. One friend reading my post reached out, offering me help and a place to stay if needed. She was very kind and compassionate. I do wonder whether her nature and life experience affected her interpretation of my words. Her son had suffered from depression and committed suicide. She had not seen the signs.

Eh! I’m falling into myself again, talking a sad streak. It’s not my fault. It is my nature but I am making an effort to cheer up. I like to change my tune. Maybe that could be my goal for the next Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have a few months to work on it. Regardless, I’m taking a run at my day. I felt a spark of joy yesterday having a clean house and a cleared diningroom table. I’m keeping that in my mind’s eye to light my way.

Working out of Acedia

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A cool cloudy October 20th, the first anniversary of my mother’s death. We’ve weathered through the first year. We took some flowers to her grave site yesterday. We had a rose for her friend, Amy but we couldn’t find her unmarked site. We knew it was nearby but it was too cold to do a long search. We added the rose to mom’s bouquet. Next visit, Amy.

A year is not a long time. Her absence felt long. I can’t remember or feel the time between her leaving and the present. I find myself wondering what the heck happened. How did I get here? It is best to leave those feelings and questions unexplored. I would only get lost in them and it would do more harm than good.

So here I am, on this 20th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I haven’t completely dispelled my acedia which is described by AI as a state of listlessness, apathy, and a lack of care, often involving spiritual or moral laziness and indifference. I sometimes still find myself emotionless, incapable of being upset by anything or anyone. I suppose it can be a good thing. I’ve been too emotional in the past, with a short fuse, erupting like a volcano too often. It’s restful being in acedia.

I think I needed acedia but I’m slowing easing out of it. Maybe it’s due to my daily tapping on the keyboard. Maybe it is making an intention of losing 17 pounds. Today I feel a tiny twinge of being alive and slightly kicking. I feel trimmer, losing the pound I gained. I vacuumed yesterday. The house feels so much cleaner. The diningroom table is once again cleared. Can I say hallelujah?

Falling Off the Wagon Sunday

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I can make intentions and write down so many goals. It’s hard to make them stick though. It’s so easy to fall off the wagon that I don’t even have to try. I can always blame it on gravity. It’s not my fault and I would be right. This is according to Professor Paul Gilbert, the founder of compassionate focused therapy. I love his teachings.

So I am going to practice compassion towards myself. I will keep trying, knowing that I will fall off the wagon again and again.