Sometimes I am immobilized by those ‘light bulb moments’, when I see the truth staring at me in glaring black and white.  You know those Kodak moments, don’t you?  I am blessed/cursed with them at the same time.  I do not want to see the raw naked truth.  I rather not be in the know.  And that is the honest truth.  Is there any other kind?

photoI am a bit melancholy with a bit of wine and the truth.  Life looks better through rose-tinted glasses or in the dark sometimes.  I am talking through my yin yang, of course.  You would have to take what I say with a grain of salt.  Do you know that I knew time before electricity?  Yes, that is correct.

I saw my first electric light bulb when I was six.  My mother and I were overnighting in a hotel in Canton, en route to Hong Kong.  I had fallen asleep early in the evening.  When my mother shook me at dawn, I opened my eyes to a bright light dangling from the ceiling.  It was truly an Oprah light bulb moment

Do you know that I see ghosts, too, that is, when I was a child.  I no longer see them now that I am all grown up.  But I feel them still.  They are my friends, my angels.  I have learned to trust them, that they are here to look out for me.

Our HouseI remembered seeing them when I was playing on our rooftop in China.  I saw them standing beside my bed at night before I went to sleep.  I asked my mother, Who are all the people?  My mother saw that there was no one there.   She said, “They’re our ancestors.  Do not be afraid.”

I wasn’t afraid until I grew up.  Then I started to cross my slippers by my bedside.  One of my friends told me that would keep them away.  And it worked!  They visited me only on those nights I forgot to cross my slippers.

They do not visit me any more in the same way.  I sense them when I am quiet and still.  They let me know their presence when I am in need.  I am no longer afraid as an adult.  I am truly grown up.

It is now almost the bewitching hour.  Time to stop babbling about light bulbs, ghosts and such.  It is time to put the memories away and get ready for sleep and sweet dreams.


IMG_6625I woke up this morning and it was still -3 C.  I opened my eyes and the sun was shining through the window.  I got out of bed and found Sheba laying in a pool of sunlight, so content with herself.

IMG_6611The dining room table was a feast of green, full of bedding plants coming in for the night.  It was a great way to greet the day – sunlight, greens and a happy dog.


IMG_6620The light danced off the walls, highlighting and casting shadows, reminding me of life – light and shadows, good and bad, the yin and the yang.  And I moved and flowed through my morning qigong routine.








The world is still reeling from the Boston marathon bombing.  How can we understand such a tragedy?  We cannot.  I cannot so I will not even try.

Would it be safe, accurate or fair to say that the marathon is just a bigger arena for society’s ills to be played?  I could say that sometimes these dramas are frequent occurrences at my work place…only on a much smaller scale.   Just last week an incarcerated patient with two guards escaped from their care and went down the back elevator.  How all this happen is a mystery.

When I got to work, the hospital grounds were full of police cars. Breakfast was late as the hospital was shut down and the police combed every room and closet.  Patients asked what they were looking for.  A bomb?  How do you reassure them.  I thought a person was better than a bomb.  But I didn’t specify.  We got the ALL CLEAR by 9:30.  And he was found later in the day in a car downtown.

This is just one of many incidences where our safety is at risk that we have to deal with, along with the usual duties of saving lives, emptying bedpans, reassuring patients and families.  Sometimes we forget about ourselves.  Who can understand what has happened to our world?

But I still try to take in the what is right and the beautiful in the world – the yin and the yang, the shadow and the light.  Perhaps we need both to guide us.  So I breathe, relax and keep driving ahead, with them windshield wipers slapping time and singing along.