It’s a weird kind of a Wednesday with clouds, rain, wind and sun all in one day. I’m not functioning at my best, lacking sleep. My word bank is scanty if not completely empty. I’ve never resorted to a wordless Wednesday before. I thought I would try it today. I was introduced to hula dancercise on Facebook. The music is energizing. Looks like great fun and I hula hoop. Bet I could lose a whole lot of inches off my waist if I can keep up. Something to aspire to. Enjoy.
Contrary to my vow of trying to show up every day for the last week of this challenge, I fell completely off the wagon. I came back to wrap up. Life got super busy and I had to change goals and priorities. My green thumb has gotten greener. I’ve become very, almost too successful at growing food. With the crazy heat this year, the harvest has been earlier and more bountiful. I’m very grateful we’ve had very timely rainfalls and an adequate budget to afford city water when there isn’t.
I’ve been busy processing peas and beans for storage. Tomorrow the guy is going to our north garden to harvest more beans. I’m thankful we have a cooler in the garage to keep the produce. Speaking of which, there’s a big bucket of apples waiting there to be juiced. I’m almost happy that the grapes aren’t that plentiful this year. Otherwise, there’ll be more work. I’m not complaining. I am very happy and grateful that we can grow this amount of food.
I am tired and had to cut back on some things to have some down time. There’s will lots and lots of gardening, harvesting and prepping to do. But I have been paying attention to some of the going ons of the challenge. Congrats to all who participated. You’ve all done very well. I admired very much how co-operative, kind and courteous everyone was. It was a pleasure to see.
If Sunday is suppose to be a day of rest, I didn’t get any. Not that I am complaining. I am enjoying this burst of energy while it lasts. Perhaps it’s the sun. Perhaps it’s the heat. Wherever it came from, I’m grateful and making good use of it. I hope it will last for a good while.
Being Sunday, it was a sourdough pancake breakfast to start the day off. Then it was out in the garden harvesting a little of this and a little of that. It turned out to be quite alot by the time I was finished – lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, bitter melons, raspberries and strawberries. Since I was still pumped, I thought I better head over to our community garden, harvest the snowpeas and water the plot. It was still relatively cool with a promise of a high of 29℃.
Our community garden plot is performing well. The snowpeas have done amazingly well. I’ve been harvesting every other day and they are still coming. I’ve been unable to grow them at home because of the birds. They love them, too. They get eaten as soon as the seeds germinate and poke their heads out of the ground. Same goes for beets. I do not know why the birds don’t go after them away from home dwellings.
Sundays I have coffee with my mother and help her with a little vacuuming. She’s more frail this year but is still fiercely independent. I have to be ok with what little she will let me do. She’s not able to do much gardening this summer but likes to have her morning walk in the yard. She uses her long handled weeder as a cane to walk and weed as well. She is slow but steady. The yard is immaculate. My brother is the gardener now, as well as mowing and watering the lawn.
It was a very nice day. I felt happy and relaxed, satisfied with myself. Walking home from my mother’s I saw my yard from a passerby’s vantage point. It was very beautiful in dappled sunlight . I caught my breath and couldn’t help but tarry and linger amid the lilies awhile before going in.
I’m counting down the days to the end of this writing challenge. 10 days left. I am going to make a concerted effort to show up each of these days. I can hope for some magic that can make my words flow. I know there is none. It is just hard work, sitting my ass in the chair in front of my keyboard and tap.
Going to my exercise class yesterday and having coffee with my classmates afterward must have put some pep in me. I was ready to tackle the day by 8 am. I did a few quick stretches and I was out the door to tackle my project in the front yard – ridding the creeping bellflower. My sister had introduced it to me, giving me a few that she had started from seeds. I’m always in favour of beautiful ground covers. When she discovered that it was very invasive, she got rid of hers right away. Not me, though. I thought how bad could it be? Now many years later, I know they are very, very bad. They are everywhere, harder to rid of than my paper clutter.
I haven’t let them overwhelm me. I haven’t thrown in the towel. Last year I got very, very serious. I laid down newpaper and cardboard. Then grass clippings, leaves, sawdust and whatever I have on hand. I started with one side of the yard and have expanded the area, little by little. It’s not looking pretty but it’s not looking bad, either. It’s interesting, a yard in transition – a conversation piece. I’ve put in 2 and a half hours this morning. It was hard and sweaty work. By year 4, I am pretty confident I will have them bellflowers in check. Have a look and see what you think.
year 2 of mulching with cardboard and sawdustyear 2year 1 mulching with cardboardyear 1 -planted elephant ears and mulching in front of sidewalkleft corner bed near sidewalk front entranceraided bed center left side of yardflower bed next to front brick wallboth right and left yard
The words for today’s post are focus and note to self. They are prompts from the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. They are very appropriate words for me to work on. My mind and brain are totally out of focus. I have no sense of direction, planning. I live by the seat of my pants. I get lost every day. I still get by very well because I am a highly functional disfunctional person.
I’m living up to my own self analysis. It is July 21 and I am still working on finishing this post from yesterday. It is not that I am a lazy person, though I have lazy moments. When I don’t have a plan or outline for a post, things don’t always flow and I stutter and hiccough. Rather than sitting stuck, I get up and tend to other things. The other thing that came along was 4 pails of peas crying to be shelled. That took up a whole afternoon. By the end, my fingers were stiff and sore. AND it was time to make supper. I think these are good reasons to get sidetracked.
After supper I am too tired to take up the keyboard. Sometimes I have to choose my battles and decide what is more important. I chose some relaxation but made a note to myself to finish this post today, blanch and freeze the shelled peas and go to my exercise class. I am happy to say now that I have succeeded in all three. I am a happy camper.
It rained last night. We were busy this morning emptying the water from the 2 large tubs used to catch the runoffs from the garage. If we are not quick enough, the neighbour will empty it out onto the back alley. We have a small patch of potatoes right by the tub, where she could empty the water. She doesn’t. It’s just plain meanness pouring it out into the alley.
She is a stranger even though I’ve lived next to her for 15 years or so. I also find her strange. One of the first advice people would give me is to communicate and get to know her. But that is the worst thing that I could do – trying to engage. I’ve learned that after years of such mistakes. And of course, some people think that it is I, who is the problem. It’s a double hurt but it has taught me something about people. I’m reminded to listen first, without judgement. It taught me to just listen and not blame the speaker.
I did some transplanting in my flower bed at the front of the house after emptying the water tubs. I’ve been lucky and timely. Right after that, it started raining again – on and off for most of today. I’ve emptied the tubs again just now. I’ve filled all the pails and started putting the water into our raised garden beds. My Roma tomatoes are already loving it. They’ve perked up, unfurling their curled leaves. Water is valuable. Nothing grows/thrives without it, including ourselves. It rankles me to see my neighbour purposely throwing it away because she doesn’t like me or the way I garden and landscape my yard.
I try not to hold her in my thoughts because it is toxic. And I try not to speak of her for the same reason. But when it rains and there’s water to catch, I can’t help acknowledging her into my consciousness. I acknowledge, accept, move the water, let her go and lock the gate. Life is short. Meanness is bad. I have no time for it.
These days, I am hard pressed to feel the joie de vivre. The world/life feels rather flat. However, the jukebox in my head is still playing happy tunes. It helps that it’s sunny even though it is a cool morning. I’m having a second cup of tea and tapping a few words. They no longer come easily or bring the pleasure they once did. I’m having to work at it. They do bring some satisfaction as I see them slowly marching across the screen.
Meanwhile, in between ideas, words and paragraphs, bread is in the making. I’m in the process of the first rising. When I look at it, making bread is much like building a post. It can be complicated and daunting till you get familiar and make a regular habit of it. Then everything becomes second nature, intuitive and the thing builds itself. It becomes a comforting process, ironing out the wrinkles and stress of everyday life.
Now, the water, yeast and flour have become dough. It is poofing in the oven for an hour or until I’m ready to punch it down and shape them into the loaf pans. There is no hurry. Meanwhile, I’m having another cuppa and process some thoughts and words that came whilst kneading dough. They are elusive and fleeting. If I don’t tap them down, they will be lost. They are rather important insights which will help me have an easier and happier life.
It’s taken me this long, a lifetime, to fully understand the concept of not taking anything personal and letting go. It finally dawned on me this summer that when I’m hanging on to perceived hurts and wrong doings by others, I’m only hurting myself. Those ‘others’ don’t give a shit. They’ve moved on and having a merry old time with their lives. Meanwhile, I’m wasting time and energy embroiled in my own toxic emotions, solving nothing and harming myself. But until I had this moment of clarity, I could not let go.
The loaves are baking in the oven. I’m almost finished here. Wrapping up, I have to say I’m grateful for this space. It’s worth the struggle to put words onto the page. It keeps me somewhat sane and healthy. Now I see that the world is not flat. So I will struggle on.
I am here again, trying to stay afloat in this writing challenge. I’m feeling like Bill Murray in the movie, Groundhog Day, waking up to the same tune on the radio every morning and to the same morning over and over again. That was my take on the word repeat for the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. I figure it’s a good prompt to write on as well. When I am stuck, I’ll use anything for a springboard. Word(s) can paint a picture in my mind’s eye. Conversely, a picture can evoke a story. Word and photo prompts work for me.
I’m feeling I’m in some horror movie these days, waking up to the same cloudy and smokey morning. It was still dark at 6 am. It is only July 15th. Too early for fall. It stayed like that most of the day till now at almost 8 pm. The clouds and smoke are just lifting. There’s a weak display of sun. I had to go out and tap my kitchen window shut to keep the smoke out earlier in the day. It had shifted and I could not properly close it. The kitchen was quite smokey. I hope tomorrow brings better things – more sun, less smoke.
The world looks and feels apocalyptic. It’s either fire or flood somewhere in the world. I hear James Taylor singing his song:
I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I’d see you again
In these weird climatic change times, it’s difficult for me to appreciate wabi sabi, the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and impermance. Wabi sabi is another prompt from my DYICAD challenge. I thought my parsnips made an excellent demonstration of the imperfect and impermanent. Having looked at their strange shapes for awhile, I have to confess they are rather beautiful with their tangles of long and curly roots. And they were delicious in my beef stew of many ingredients.
Since life is full of things that can’t be changed, it is helpful to adopt the wabi sabi outlook. It is much better to look for and study the beauty in the bleak, ugly and lonely that is our present world than being stuck in the muck. It would be a change instead of repeating over and over the same old that have not worked before.
Trivia by definition according to Oxford Languages are: ‘details, considerations, or pieces of information of little importance or value’. Even so, I sometimes find myself hooked and submerged in them, unable to let go. What is it about them that is so intriguing? The only answer I can come up with is that there is no answer. I find that unacceptable. Having no reason/answer drives my reptilian brain crazy. You must know by now that I’ve been berserk for many years. There MUST be a reason! has been my battle cry.
I am falling behind this round of writing challenge. It is already the end of day 14 and I am tapping at a snail’s pace to finish this post. I have to admit I have been distracted by the trivia rule breaking in this challenge. It took awhile for all that to be resolved. And I wondered and wondered the whys of it all. It took away time and energy from my writing. And so here I am, late in the evening, trying to finish what I had started.
I was tempted to abandon ship but thought better of it. This is a good learning opportunity for me – to finish what I start, not to let trivia steal my time and energy. I don’t have to understand everything. I just need to understand what my goals are and the steps to reach them. I don’t have to be perfect, but to do my best.
The cool cloudy morning of today has a feel of autumn instead of early July. I have a sense that our earth is very much at risk. I feel very vulnerable and powerless. Lately, I’ve felt a loss of interest in many things. It frightened me a little until I did a quick inventory of things that I still enjoy, like writing for the July Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am still enthralled with ideas, putting them into words and finding photographs to illustrate them. Then there’s the DYICAD, Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. I create an index card art inspired from a word prompt. It’s fun, relaxing and doesn’t take much time.
ZodiacChandelierSummerPerspective
Grey, cool mornings like this make me wistful and lonesome for the good old days and the way things used to be. But probably they are false impressions created by time lapsed. Things always seem rosier in our memories than in reality. So I will sigh no more for things past. Perhaps I shall make a cup of hot chocolates, curl up and read a few pages of Where the Crawdads Sing to warm the cockles of my heart. I’ve already seen the movie and loved it. The story, cinematography and dialogue were wonderful. I’m quite surprise to see so many bad reviews for the book on Goodreads.
onethousandandtwo 