Tag Archives: time

TIME AND SPACE

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Chocolate_Mousse-2I love the time and space when I first wake up and open my eyes in the warmth of my bed.  The winter morning is still dark and all is silent.  There is such a richness in this moment – like hot chocolate mousse.  Feel the smoothness and depth in the layers.  Mmmmmmmm!  I luxuriate in the moment.  All thoughts and feelings are suspended and I am in Nirvana for that time and space.

Eventually I do get out of bed.  I padded out to the kitchen.  I make my tea and breakfast.  I try to keep thoughts from entering my head – a clear head and mind will a wonderful day be made.  I take my poached eggs on toast and tea out to the sun room, Sheba trailing after me.  By now the sun is out and I am once again cocooned in warmth….and sunshine.  Can life get better than this?

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So really I have not done a lot this day.  It is a challenge I threw out to myself – not to feel the ‘time’ and the things I MUST do.  I know that I need to show up at work tonight.  That is the contract between my employer and me, that I fulfill my contract in exchange for a salary.

Aside from the one MUST, the rest is soft and negotiable.  Too long I have been rigid in my thinking.  I have been thinking too much, too long, too uselessly…!  It is time for me to come to my senses – see with eyes wide open, feel with my skin, smell the wonders of nature, hear the music in the air.  Life, my dear, is way too short to be spent thinking.  It is better to BE.

Acknowledgement:  The chocolate mousse picture is from http://trialx.com/g/Chocolate_Mousse-2.jpg

HEART OF WINTER

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We are in the heart of winter.  It is dark, dark outside.  My little Buddha is shivering in the snow.  Sunrise is not till 8:59, another hour yet.  Yesterday, the sun did not come out at all.

It would be so easy to hibernate like the bears, but duty and nature calls.  Sheba is quite insistent.  She KNOWS she is hungry and she’s not letting anyone sleep in.  You try to quiet your bladder, but after awhile you know you have to get up.  So you throw those covers back and step onto the cold floor.  And another day starts.

I’m not feeling up to snuff.  My eyes are gummed up and my mouth feels grainy and dry, like the Sahara Desert.  I am achy, throaty and tired.  Welcome back, SINUSITIS, my old friend.  Your ways are familiar to me now.  I can function quite well with you on my back even though you try your hardest to drag me down.

So, I’m not so speedy or quite as organized as usual.  Is there a race on and are we in a hurry?  Or is there an emergency?  It is good that there are seasons and times for everything….times to work and times to rest, times to speed and times to slow.  We all know how that song goes, but do we listen and hear it?

I’m feeling like hell now.  So I sit back, take my glasses off and rub my eyes.  I breathe and sip my tea.  Sheba is on her mat besides me.  Animals do absorb and ease our distress and discomfort by being with you and being just themselves.  Often we take them for granted  but they are always so happy to see us when we come back, even if we’ve gone for a few minutes.They accept us as we are.  There is no judgement.

I would do well if I could learn from Sheba’s ways….let people know I appreciate them, live in the moment, letting go of minutes, hours, days, years past, of things of little consequence.  Perhaps that’s her purpose…to keep reminding me of the excitement of life, to keep wagging my tail.  The sun will come again.   Ahh, there it is now, shining over my shoulder, lighting my world!   And I have done well in this heart of the winter.

Sometimes when there is no feeling good in your body or mind, you have to go back in your memories for those feelings and live as if.  That is what I did this morning, remembering the pleasure of the cup of hot chocolate, making soup, baking bread.  I remember my body opened up, seeing  Sheba running out to greet me when I came home from work Monday evening, tired and stressed.  Her wagging tail, smile and nuzzling work miracles in easing the tension in my being.

Everything does turn, turn, turn.  Nothing stays the same.  This, too, shall pass.  And for everything, there is a purpose under heaven.  Breakfast is done, dishes cleared and the dishwasher is turning and turning.

 

TIME AND SPACE

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Where am I this fine Saturday morning?  I am not behind.  It is almost 11:30.  The sun is just giving me a big burst of hello.

I was planning to be out in the dog park before lunch and stopping at London Drugs to get some pictures developed to send to Rod’s Auntie Flo.  But getting photos transferred from one gadget to another took me longer than expected.  No matter how fast and expedient our igadets are, things cannot be done with just a blink of an eye…unless Genies really exist.  Have you heard of the TV series, I Dream of Jeannie?

So I am just changing the order of my to do list.  I have this time and space before lunch.  It is mine to write, to mark my progress, to breathe, to enjoy and celebrate with the sun.  I am remembering how wonderful I felt talking to the woman from the Holy Spirit Parish Office yesterday.  It is her acceptance of my request and no trying to change my mind.  I remember my body going ahhhhh.  Have you ever felt that sense of relief and connection talking to someone unseen and unknown over the phone?

It is that kind of acceptance of who we are that we all long for.  It is for me, anyways.  Sometimes, I have this great loneliness in me that seems impossible.  I feel this great big hole that is unfillable.  Is there such a word?  Have you ever felt that way?  Those are the times when I phone people and the whole universe is out in the malls or at Walmart.  I should have been phoning God instead.

He must have heard me just now.  The sun is so bright, lighting up the whole sunroom.  And I am toasty warm.  This morning the scale says I’m 2 pounds lighter..before a breakfast of one poached egg on toast.  I am keeping a food diary to keep track of my intake, what food agrees with me and what doesn’t.  Results require effort and consciousness!

My time and space are up.  It is time to think about lunch.

 

A SLOWER TIME

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Today is my third day off from work and I am feeling fine.  Last week feels like an eon ago.  I feel as if I’ve lost a chunk of time and myself in those long hours at the hospital.  I am in recovery mode.  I wonder if other 12-hour shiftworkers experience similiar feelings.  Maybe I am just an oddball.  I dont have the metal to cut the pedal.  Is that how the saying goes?

It was rainy and grey most of the day yesterday, not good time for working outside or doing anything else.  We went to the Western Development Museum instead.  It was a welcomed change in our routine.  It has been many years since I was in Boomtown.  The last time was when I took my nephews Adrian and Michael.  They are both in their 20s now, so you can count the years.

Boomtown has grown in my absence!  It took me awhile to orientate myself to my new surrounding.  I heard this frantic voice inside me:  What do I do now?  Where should I go first?  Quick, get the camera out!  Take pictures!  Take pictures!  I had to find my other voice:  You don’t have to do anything yet.  This is not the hospital.  There is no such thing as: STAT!  You can just stroll and enjoy the ambiance.

This is Boomtown.  There is no traffic, no traffic lights, no sirens, no ambulances…only people who wants to see and experience some of our history.  It is a place to feel some of yesteryear when things were slow and mellow.  It deserves more visits from me.