I wonder if we realize how often we are out to lunch and not in the moment. That realization hit me with a thud in the mall’s parking lot the other day. Everything came to a very noisy stop. I wondered what the hell happened. Then I saw my car met another car I hadn’t seen. I had momentarily glanced sideways at possible parking spots. My thoughts were on parking spots. I was aware that there were also negative thoughts circulating through my mind. My attention was not on what was in front of me.

Lucky I was just inching along. My car sustained no damage. The other car a small dent. We exchanged names and license plates. I apologized and thanked him for not yelling at me. I thought at the time it was my fault. Now I am not so sure. It matters not as we have no fault insurance. The positive thing was the impact jarred and stopped my toxic thoughts and feelings instantly. It clearly showed me how out to lunch I was and have been. But it also left me sleepness that night, pondering and fretting over everything.

I am happy to report that I had a good night’s sleep last night. I want to say I have turned over a new leaf. We all know that it’s not all that easy. I am practicing to stay in the moment. I gave up my morning meditations awhile back. I restarted this morning. I am giving up reading the 2 Heathers each morning. Learning all that stuff about Donald Trump and the Republicans are very toxic for my mental health. It’s not a good way to start each day.

I have started my 100 day project of reading Wayne Dyer’s Change Your Thought, Change Your Life. I am not sure how far I will get in a 100 days but I have started instead of just talking on starting. In my search for the book, I came across a little book by C. S. Lewis called Surprised by Joy. It’s the same old story of meaning to read but haven’t. The book was for my Philosophy of Religion class of long ago. It costed 75 cents. That’s how long ago I had meant to read it. I have always been enthralled by the title. Wouldn’t you want to be surprised by joy? I am surprised that I am finally reading it. I was motivated after watching the movie Surprised by Oxford where the book and the author was mentioned. I think I am suppose to read it.