Tag Archives: resources

Gratitude and Choices

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Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Life feels so busy, even in retirement. I can’t say I am bored and have nothing to do. I would love to, though. I am just sitting down for a rest stop before attacking and prepping the turkey for the oven. No, it is not Thanksgiving yet. The turkey has been in the freezer longer than it need be. I thought Monday was a good day to cook it being on the cool side. My retired brain forgot by Monday. Lucky I remembered late yesterday that it was still thawing in the cooler. To be truthful, it was quite thawed.

It’s a bit warmish, 25℃. There’s a cool breeze so hopefully the house won’t get too hot. I am a bit sweaty and limp. Today felt hot. I went in early this morning to get bloodwork from my physical done. I had to wait over an hour. I was thirsty and hungry by the time I got home. My systolic blood pressure was barely over 100. I hadn’t even taken my morning pill yet. It’s not bad news but it reminded me of my disappointment with my doctor’s appointment the other day.

I wished he was more interested, specific and helpful. When I told him that the blood pressure taken by the nurse was high and not accurate. I had just come in after a stressful drive and sat down. It has been low lately. He took my word and did not check my blood pressure himself. He said I could cut back my medication a bit. If it’s ok after a week, I’m good to go. Not that I am complaining. I guess I am. He is nice enough, kind enough but didn’t look very animated. He’s been like that the last few years. I have wondered if he is depressed. I am very low maintenance. Just a yearly checkup for bloodwork and prescription renewal. Not much of a physical check when I don’t have to take off any clothes.

I suppose I should feel grateful that I do have a family doctor. Many don’t. There is a shortage of them so you can’t shop around. I am grateful that I do have knowledge and resources. I am a long retired nurse. I’ve been doing the medical running around the last few years with my mother and now my father. I am getting to know my way around. Sometimes it is very tiring. It’s hard to feel good and secure when there are no resources and choices.

STOP, LOOK, SEE, ANALYZE

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January 9 and day 9 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Today I gave into my fatigue and gave myself a break from my ski in the park. I don’t do it often. I am rather obsessive that way, staying on the track, not missing any days. But enough is enough. Sometimes it is good and necessary to step off the merry-go-round, look and reassess. It is the rightful thing to do. I need a rest, some TLC.

Funny how the Universe knows what I need. While I was drawing hot water for a nice long soak, I rediscovered Cheryl Richardson’s audio book The Art of Extreme Self-Care. It’s telling me something. I didn’t have to look far to find it. It’s right on my iPhone. It also reminds me that I already have many resources. I don’t need to search for more. What I need to do is to USE them. I have good reasons to choose FOCUS as my word of the year.

January 10, day 10 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I lost my focus or rather I saw what was more important. I needed a break/rest more than to finish my post yesterday. I’m feeling more rested physically. I am not so sure about mentally. We watched the movie, Bird Box (2018) starring Sandra Bullock on Netflix last night. It’s a science fiction movie of a post apocalyptic world. It feels quite similar to our present world. Whereas in the movie the people will die if they look at the monster. The people had to blindfold themselves. In our world, we will die if we breathe in our monster and we have to mask ourselves. You will have to watch the movie yourself. It might not resonate with you. Maybe you won’t see the similarities.

I have felt the weirdness of living in a sci-fi world before this. Now it is all the more eerie for me. There’s a lot of strange things and people out there/here. It emphasizes that I need to focus more on my boundaries and not let them infect my mental and physical health. I have to keep up with my routines of daily living. Tapping here gives me relief from thoughts trapped in my head. Stepping back on the ski trails will release tension in my physical body. The sun is out and it is WARM.