Tag Archives: neighbour

Walk On By

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I woke up to a cloudy morning with raindrops on the windows. Looking out, I see that one of our tubs for catching runoffs from the garage roof is laying on its side. Well, that’s doing alot of good, I said to myself. The second thought was the season of what’s-her-name has started. I went out and righted it. The large rock to weigh it down was still in it. Must have been a mighty wind or a push. Our neighbour has dumped our rainwater into the back alley in the past. She complains it breeds mosquitoes. So we put a screen over the tubs. We try to empty the tubs as soon as possible before she does.

I have moved past getting angry and crazed by my neighbour’s antics. Being angry was not very effectual but very harmful to my physical and emotional health. It made me look like the one with the problem. Of course, I have tried to do the neighbourly thing – given her some of my plants, talking to her. It was an impossible task. She would not allow me to talk. Even the community police officer had a hard time getting in a word edge wise.

After many years of trying different ways, giving her no response is the best solution. Being human, I am not 100% foolproof. Sometimes I do lose it. I always pay for it. Then I learned some more on not reacting. I just have to keep on walking by with no eye contact, not saying hello. It’s not the neighbourly thing but a very wise thing to do.

UBC Day 18 – The Meanness of Strangers

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It rained last night. We were busy this morning emptying the water from the 2 large tubs used to catch the runoffs from the garage. If we are not quick enough, the neighbour will empty it out onto the back alley. We have a small patch of potatoes right by the tub, where she could empty the water. She doesn’t. It’s just plain meanness pouring it out into the alley.

She is a stranger even though I’ve lived next to her for 15 years or so. I also find her strange. One of the first advice people would give me is to communicate and get to know her. But that is the worst thing that I could do – trying to engage. I’ve learned that after years of such mistakes. And of course, some people think that it is I, who is the problem. It’s a double hurt but it has taught me something about people. I’m reminded to listen first, without judgement. It taught me to just listen and not blame the speaker.

I did some transplanting in my flower bed at the front of the house after emptying the water tubs. I’ve been lucky and timely. Right after that, it started raining again – on and off for most of today. I’ve emptied the tubs again just now. I’ve filled all the pails and started putting the water into our raised garden beds. My Roma tomatoes are already loving it. They’ve perked up, unfurling their curled leaves. Water is valuable. Nothing grows/thrives without it, including ourselves. It rankles me to see my neighbour purposely throwing it away because she doesn’t like me or the way I garden and landscape my yard.

I try not to hold her in my thoughts because it is toxic. And I try not to speak of her for the same reason. But when it rains and there’s water to catch, I can’t help acknowledging her into my consciousness. I acknowledge, accept, move the water, let her go and lock the gate. Life is short. Meanness is bad. I have no time for it.

LIFE IS FOR PASSIONS

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Here it is, the 8th day of July and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am finding life a bit of a challenge. I am sure we all are with the Covid-19. I’ve lost my fur baby of 14 years in May. I’m still grieving for Sheba. There’s not a day that I don’t think of her. On top of that, the neighbour is still on her harassment path. Summer is here. There’s the garden and yard to tend to. I cannot do anything near our cedars beside her driveway without drawing her attention, followed by her drama. The purpose of this month and challenge is to help me disengaged from her negative energy. I want to live in peace alongside her property.

Most days I feel I’m going nowhere. It has been 12 years now, off and on that she has been harassing me. I am tired and fed up with her in my thoughts constantly. I am sick of working on the problem. I took some time this morning just standing and watching the plants sway in the wind. I felt as if I was swaying with them, letting their rhythm soothe, empty and calm my mind. I’ve given away too much of my time and energy to the woman next door. It’s doing me in. Time to stop.

It’s not as if I’m lacking for things to do. There never seem enough time to do all the things I want to. I could lose myself for hours puttering in the yard and garden. There’s harvesting each day – lettuce, spinach, Chinese mustard greens, strawberries. Today I got a handful of blueberries and haskaps. Then you have to do something with the harvest. Otherwise they would spoil and go to waste. At each day’s end I am tired and wishing for more time.

I really must get myself back from overthinking and stressing about the neighbour next door. I have much better things to think about. I’m over a week behind in the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. I made time today to catch up a little today. It was a much better time spent, making art on a 4 x 6 index card. Sheba came alive again – on paper. Life is too short for someone to rob me of my passions.

 

 

 

SHEBA IS OK. I AM OK

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I’ve been having more frequent moments of missing Sheba the last couple of days. It has been acute today. I haven’t gotten around to storing her bowls yet, but I did bag up her Kong bed yesterday. It did make me feel better in moments. Other times it gave me such an acute longing and missing her. Fourteen years is hard to erase and process.

Though both we and Sheba knew that our time together was coming to end it is still very difficult. Towards the last couple of months of her life, Sheba stopped sleeping in the bedroom with us. She retreated to the livingroom or the sunroom. Perhaps she was preparing us. So my tears come. My tears flow this morning as I biked down the alleys we used to walk. I see that the squash grower has planted potatoes this year instead. Memories, images and tears come as I pedal.

I tell myself I have to do something else beside cry. So I practice riding with just one hand on the handlebar, then the other. I’m not good enough yet to use one hand on and to signal with the other. I can manage a quick scratch of my nose. I practice looking behind me for traffic. I want to get enough confidence to ride down busier streets. I still have goals. I’m still interested in improving my skills of living.

I took a little break from my sadness. I worked in the front yard. I put myself in every corner, reclaiming every inch of it. I am not letting the neighbour bully and throw her weight on my property. I wonder what kind of person would plant little trees on a neighbour’s property, right along my raised garden bed. I wonder what kind of person would have the Weedman spray pesticide right along that bed of vegetables. I’m wondering but not expecting any answers. Living next to this person has deepened my sadness in these times.

Now it is almost 8 o’clock in the evening. I love sitting out here and watch the sun playing shadows on the garage wall. In other times, Sheba would be laying here beside my feet. She is ok. I don’t have to worry about her now. I’m ok. We’ve had our time together. I am no longer angry with the neighbour. However, I am a little afraid of her venom and malice. I do not care about the row of little evergreens beside the raised bed. They have nowhere to grow but over her driveway. .

 

ANGER DOES NOT BECOME ME

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First things first this morning. I had to join in for the online YWCA morning exercise class on Zoom. I have to get back to a regular schedule more than ever now that there is no Sheba to take me out on our walks. Then I had to hang up the laundry, clean the toilet and wash the bathroom floor. The phone rang. I had missed an appointment. Sorry, sorry, sorry! Can I reschedule? Of course I could since it was my bank and really, they do work for me. They’ve left me waiting, dangling my heels a few times and not for a short time. But I mustn’t forget tomorrow though. Today the toilet was more important.

I have to admit that I am a bit of a train wreck. I must try a little harder not to steam up, cry about Sheba and blow my stack over the woman next door. I should put away Sheba’s leftover food and her bowls. Every time I walk by them, I forget and think I should fill her water bowl. Then the tears start. And really, that woman next door…I know that I should get her out of my system once and for all. The truth is I am only an ordinary human being. I can let it go for awhile. Because she is so good and smart at what she is, she will catch me unaware again and again. She has done so for over 10 years. But at least I have reported her to the police last year and again recently. There’s not much they can do about alot of her crap, but trespass is against the law.

Tomorrow is here and I mustn’t forget about my appointment this afternoon. My phone rang again. It is those scammers who said they’re from Service Canada again. So I pressed 1 as the recording says to know more details. I demanded to know their identity and where they are calling from. I demanded and shouted. I’ve done this a few times now. They’ve hung up on me. Sometimes I hang up on them. I am angry. I am just so angry. Tears come. My stomach goes into knots. There is no love in my heart. I know not everyone is evil but evil does exist. Some people are just bad.

I know Anne Lamott said that anger is a form of prayer. I believe it can be but I also know that it is not good for me. It is killing me now and I must feel it and release it. So I letting it out like a long foul fart. There you go,  just passing wind. I hope I can be sweeter tomorrow.