Tag Archives: getting things done

Bit and Pieces

Posted on by
11

Here I am again, sitting in sunshine, sipping my tea. I’m tired already, thinking too much on life, death and taxes. I’m working on not letting all that get me down. That’s life as people like to say. Every day babies are born and people die. We know we can’t escape the tax man. I must set a time within the next 6 days to file mine. Everything sits heavy. There’s no escape. Maybe a tylenol might give me some ease.

I don’t want life to drown me. I’m trying to find my way to the shore and get on solid ground. I tell myself feelings aren’t always real. I can still move and function well inspite of them. My mantra in life has always been No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. During this April it has been make it simple, make it easy. I break jobs into bits and pieces. They add up. I’ve been doing things this way for a long time, even in writing. First, a word, then a sentence. String them together and you have a paragraph. I learned the importance of one small step at a time from Anne Lamott’s book, Bird by Bird. It’s a wonderful little book.

It applies not only to writing, but just about everything in life as well. I’ve sewn 100 log cabin quilt squares that way a few years ago. I have yet to put them together though. It’ll be my square by square project in winter. I talked about getting moving on with my gardening. All I could do yesterday was water the greenhouse and plop 4 cauliflower seedlings in the raised bed outside. It’s not much but it’s not nothing. This morning I’ve managed to pot up 3 squash sprouted seeds before my mood got the better of me. I’m getting things done, living life in bits and pieces.

DAY 4 UBC – LET ME NOT WASTE TIME

Posted on by
9

Let me not waste time

My goal today is not to waste so much time pondering on things that I do not understand. There are some/many things that my understanding or not adds zilch to my quality of life. It is an addiction and a flaw of mine. I know I cannot possibly put myself into someone else’s head and figure out their mechanics. It is perhaps that impossibility that hooks me. It is a job. It’s that shepna Pema Choedron talks about. It is why weI suffer. I have work ahead of me to do. Today is another first day of the rest of my life.

I have already squandered away part of an hour investigating someone else’s behaviour. It is mine that is in question. I’m the only one that I can control and change. How could I possibly get into another’s head. How can I understand how their mechanics work? How stupid is that when it matters not? The mystery is the hook. The solution is not to bite. So I take a deep breath and let go of the hook. It is not that interesting. It is just a habit of mine, wanting to understand everything, thinking everything has to do with me. It does not. I am not all that powerful.

Onward and forward I march towards my goal. How do I overcome my lassitude? Is it physical or psychological? Does it matter which? I don’t need to figure it out. In the end, it is physical action/movement that will get me there. I’m sticking to what works for me. Regina Brett’s advice, no matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up, works for me. It’s what keeps me coming back to the page. Now I have to apply that principle to the rest of the day.

It helps that I can understand my physical and emotional self. I know I have this lassitude. I can while the day away on the couch doing nothing. I wouldn’t feel the better for it. Or I can bite the bullet and bear the discomfort, put in a little effort and rise to the moment. I have done that. So the sheets are changed. The bed is made with fresh linen. The old ones are being laundered and dried. The 2nd pail of concord grapes are washed and draining, to be process later. I have tulip and lily bulbs to be planted. I better do that today while the sun is shining.

It is and it isn’t really hard to unhook myself from unanswerable questions. I just have to ask myself what does it matter knowing or not knowing. How would that change or add anything to my life? That would stop my ponderings, chewings and regurgitating endlessly. There’s a beautiful world out there to enjoy.

LONGINGS AND BELONGING

Posted on by
Reply

Saturday morning, 9:37 but already my eyes are heavy with sleep. The sky is very grey, the air humid and heavy. We had more rain last night. We might again today. It’s not difficult to believe that the earth is coming to an end. We are experiencing weather like we’ve never had before. We cannot deny that there is climate change, can we? I am feeling grey and morose but who can blame me.

It would be easy to curl up with my current read, Educated by Tara Westover. It’s very compelling, hard to put down like Wild by Cheryl Strayed. You might disagree as each reader reads through different eyes and experiences. However, this morning I am practicing discipline. I’m trying hard not to give in to my natural inclination of going with the flow of not being in the present moment, not trying, not doing anything. I’m here with my tea tapping my ponderings of this and that.

What I cannot ignore in this minute is Sheba. She’s laying right next to me. She’s not smelling sweet and hasn’t for a while. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and take her into our walk in shower. It’s not as hard to do as it is thinking about it and smelling her. I have enough time before making lunch.

It’s Sunday morning coming down. I’ll try not to dawdle and dwell in the sad song of Johnny Cash and Kris Kristopherson. After all, I haven’t been out on an all night bender. So let me sit and be here, present and full alert, starting my day.

I’m not much of a to-do list maker, having tried numerous times. It only lasts for a few days. I have more success of showing up here consistently. It’s a good place to ponder and ask questions of myself (and you if you are reading). I often do get insights and answers. Seeing thoughts and questions in writing gives me clarity and objectivity. Sometimes the thoughts in print pushes me into action.

Yesterday was such a case. After having said that Sheba stank and needed a bath badly, I thought why don’t I do it now? I had time before lunch. I did just that. First, I showered and dried Sheba, cleaned the shower and then me -all before lunch. It was a bit physically taxing but rewarding for me. She was sweet smelling and sleek after a good brushing. I’m still brushing today. It’s molting season and there’s endless hair coming out with each brush stroke. Heavy big sigh…

It’s the Canada Day long weekend, a national holiday. I’ve never been a fan of holidays. For me there’s this obligation to celebrate and have a good time. Not that I have anything against either, but you see, I’m an immigrant child of immigrant parents. I know I am no longer a child and I’ve been here much longer than I’ve been in my born country. Still, feelings persist. Feelings of missing my tribe and culture. Growing up in small town, Canada, there was very few of my people in town to gather and celebrate. So this feeling of being left out, looking from the outside into another culture left a gnawing feeling of always longing for belonging.  It is not a bad thing. It’s good to recognize one’s feelings. That longing has led me on a search that has led to many wonderful things.

SUNDAY SUNDAY

Posted on by
4

It’s Sunday but I’m hearing the Mamas and the Papas tune Monday Monday in my head. I’m singing Sunday Sunday. It’s a new day and a new week. I’m trying to put a little oomph into my tank. I was so sleepy yesterday with the rain that it was hard to stay awake. Taking Sheba out for her walk and baking rhubarb muffins for our community garden barbecue was torturous. I kept with the program and succeeded. It was no small feat – for me.

I’m feeling like molasses in winter this morning. Not wanting to fall victim to my physiology, I’m showing up here to tap, record and hold myself accountable. I’m doing things that needs doing as they show themselves to me. So, Sheba’s teeth are brushed, something she would not allow not so long ago. We’re both mellowing. I’m more patient, allowing her time to get acquainted with the finger brush. Peanut buttered tooth paste helps a lot. It’s shedding season. Clumps of fur are hanging loose on her butt. Clearly she needs a good brush out. That being done, the garbage bag (and my clothes) is now half full of her hair.

It is not a bad start to my morning. My eyes are heavy with sleepiness. I might have to get up and make myself a cup of tea. I hope to get 2 pairs of pants shortened and hemmed today. I’ve taken them out of the closet for over a week for that purpose. I bought them over 20 years ago and never worn. They still fit except for the length, of course. Well, it’s better late than never. Should I give myself a star when they’re done? Maybe it’s not a bad idea to start a chart for things accomplished.

So now it is evening. Sheba and I have just come in from our walk. A beautiful walk it is, too. The sun is still out. The air warm. All the lawns are so green after two days of rain. I haven’t quite got everything done that I’ve set out for the day. But the 2 pairs of pants are shortened and almost hemmed. You have to be flexible about these things. And I am, as flexible as a wet noodle. If a thing can keep for the morrow, I don’t sweat it.

We had a good turnout for the Community Garden barbecue. There was a few raindrops but it quickly passed. Then it was sunshine all the way. It was nice to match up the faces to the numbered garden plots and get acquainted with each other. It was good food, good company and scenery. Sunday Sunday was certainly good to me.

 

BEST TIMES FOR EVERYTHING

Posted on by
1

Needless to say I haven’t found the cure to my after lunch blues. Maybe it is just a part of my daily physical biorhythm. I should not fight against myself. This is the perfect time for me to be here. I can sit, tap, muse and bitch about life in general. I’ve trained myself enough to clean up and do the dishes though it feels like torture. Now the bread is baking in the oven. I had thought about putting the whole bowl of dough in the oven without dividing into loaves. But my somewhat rational brain said: DON’T! I listened.

Perhaps I should chart my daily energy and mood for a month to see where the peaks and dips occur. I could coordinate activities accordingly. There’s a science to this. Everybody has their opinion. I think I want to do my own research since people’s chemistry vary. I sure don’t feel like going to the gym at 6 pm. Right now, I feel like a nap. It’s 2:17 pm. I’m tapping furiously to stay awake. The bread is still in the oven.

What I know for sure is I feel the best in the morning. After lunch it is all downhill. I have no ambition nor drive after supper. It leaves a very small window for a slow poke like me to get anything done. I want to nap so bad. I wish that bread would hurry up!

READY, SET, GO

Posted on by
1

IMG_3116It’s another day.  I still have a million and one things to do.  For now, let me rest in this space if I can, but difficult neighbours seem to be my cross to bear – especially the obsessive compulsive type.  Right now I can hear the constant whine of her leaf blower. It’s like hearing fingernails scratching on a blackboard over and over.  I don’t mean to be unkind but I wish she would disappear. It’s my evil twin speaking.

It stops and starts again, this never ending stream of irritation.  I will breathe and sip my cuppa and tap away on my keyboard.  There!  It has stopped.  Praise the Lord!  I close my eyes, unfurl my eyebrows and let my shoulders drop.  I am tired but it is a good day. The car is back from the shop with a set of brand new Michlin tires.  Have tread, will travel far.  No worries.  I am ready, set and can almost go.  It feels heady not to procrastinate.

IMG_3120Now if I can get to my tomatoes.  There’s no end to them.  Seems like I pick bushels of tomatoes and sunberries every day.  I’m complaining a little now.  Come winter I will be happy to have tomatoes for soups and spaghetti sauce.  And those little berries will be delicious in muffins.  Suffer now.  Enjoy later.  Oh, that whine has started again. It’s like being at the dentist’s.