Tag Archives: experimenting

NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE

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Guess what I did this morning? Last week I started making sourdough bread again. It was so successful I’m making Tuesdays a sourdough bake day. Not to waste a hot oven I decided to do my regular whole wheat loaves, too. I made the dough the day before so it would be ready this morning. My idea was to bag the dough and put it in the fridge overnight. I had previous experience of knowing that the dough still rises in the fridge. I thought putting it in a ziplock bag plus fastening it with elastic should contain it. Wrong! The expanding dough broke the elastic and was trying to ooze out of the bag. So I squished it down and tied it up and put it in the freezer overnight.

Nature calling at 3:30 am got me out of bed. I remembered my dough and got it out on the counter. It was thawed when I got up at 7. I did give it some time proofing in the oven. And then some time on the counter. But it was a BIG ball of dough, slow to warm. I decided to put them into 6 loaf pans. They sat for an hour while the sourdough was baking. My raisin sourdough came out just perfect. It slid out without a hitch onto the rack.

I can’t say the same for the whole wheat loaves. They are smaller and denser than normal. But they are not terrible. We usually toast them anyways. They will be equally filling. It was not a failure either. I am learning about chilling and freezing dough. I shall try some different tactics next time. It’s nice to be able to make bread over a couple of days.

This sourdough was half white and half whole wheat flour. It stands up better. The white was wetter and looser, harder to handle. I will try some spelt flour next time. There’s much to experiment and learn. So ends day 16 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I missed yesterday. I was tired. It’s good to take a rest. It’s not I must, only I must not miss two days in a row.

WEEKEND STORM COMING

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Weekend Storm Coming

It is Friday. Environment Canada has a winter storm watch for the weekend. I’m feeling the storm already. I cancelled my aerobics class this morning. I’m in a mood. I don’t always believe in keeping a stiff upper lip and hang in there. Some days I just have to phone in sick even when I’m retired. Enough is enough.

We’re expected to get 10 – 15 cm. of snow on Saturday. Sunday is supposed to get worse with heavy snow. It is sunny at the moment. 6 degrees Celsius. There’s an ominuous feel in the air. It is in tune with what is happening in the world today. With Covid-19 increasing, why are some people deliberately putting themselves and others more at risk by having a house party of 50 people? And how can a president of a country keep repeating that he is being cheated out of the election when there’s no proof? I am, of course, feeling bluish. I am repeatedly paying attention to bad stuff.

Meanwhile in the greenhouse, it is 22 degrees Celsius. I planted a few small onions in the raised bed inside. They had been crowded out by the garlic in summer and remained small but had set roots. We’ll see if they will do ok with the transplant. While I was at it, I seeded some mixed baby lettuce and Asian Greens – the same as I had in the planters. Now I will wait and see. If my mood improves, I might seed some leeks in the house and transplant them when they’re bigger. This is a brand new adventure. I don’t have to follow rules. I can just experiment and find out for myself what works and what doesn’t. It’s mostly what I’m already doing.

How’s your day? I keep rehashing my usual litany of nonsense. It’s problem solving for me in a way. But perhaps I should just keep it on the page. It’s works better that way. I see my words, sentences and thoughts march across my screen. I can edit, I can delete. And I feel better tapping out my angst. The rhythm soothes and smooths me. I shall skip my walk, too. The sky look like the colour of dirty dish water. Nothing inviting about that. I shall put away the baked bread cooled on the racks and rescue the cooked pumpkin from the Instant Pot. Perhaps I shall bake some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. I love the colour orange. I love the smell of chocolate chips baking.

SUNDAY JOY

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Sunday, God’s day of rest. I lingered in bed a little longer, nesting in the warmth of the comforter. Nothing on my agenda. No need for rushing and crashing. Yet at the same time, it’s not a license to sloth either. I swing my legs over the edge and head to the bathroom. Face washed and teeth brushed, I ran the brush through my bed head. Not pretty but almost not frightening. It will do for now.

The days are getting longer now. It was still light at 6 pm yesterday. This stretch of February has been wonderfully sunny. The cold has not been bad though the temperature is -23 degrees Celius at this moment. The sun is streaming into the room. The dog and I are toasty warm. I love to linger in this sunny space. It is a good place to work in and on this morning.

I am experimenting with rescheduling to find what are the best times to do anything. It seems l’m just treading water and not getting anywhere. I know it’s not true – just perceptions of my mood. It would also be of benefit if I chart my moods as to the time of day/month/seasons. I am always working at something, aren’t I? That’s my nature. I like to make ‘improvements’ on myself. Nothing stays the same. It’s best to change for the better, don’t you think?

That’s where I am going – for the better. It’s taken me a long time but I got it. It’s not always about me – that caused it, that has to fix everything or anything. I’ve finally curbed my delusion of being Atlas. I don’t have to, I cannot hold up the sky for eternity. I am but an ordinary human being. I love the smallness of my ordinary life. I am happy to putter along, one small step at a time.

TIME AND ENERGY

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It is 1:18 pm. Sheba and I are having a mini session of sitting, get down and staying. It’s what we do in the afternoon. Obedience training for her, patience training for me. She is momentarily distracted by the guy leaving for his workshop. There is some excited barks and prancing around. We refocus. Now she’s on her bed licking per paws . A quiet interlude. We will go to the park for her reward later.

It’s a beautiful sunny and warm day. A lot of the snow have melted. I should be jubilant. Instead, I am in an undetermined mood -somewhat despondent, somewhat mellow yellow. No, I’m not under the influence of drugs. Maybe languid is a better word. Energized is not my frequent state. It is no wonder that nothing seems to matter to me. To care takes a lot of energy, energy that I don’t have.

But in order to live and thrive in this world, one has to give a shit somehow. I know what happens when you don’t. You fall through the ‘cracks’. I imagine they are the same cracks that lets the light in in Leonard Cohen’s song, Anthem. All the same, I rather stay out of them. I’m experimenting on how to manage the energy that I do have.

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I took time and Sheba out in the middle of this post. We went to the dog park and had us some time. Some days you just have to make that effort. Some days are made for sniffing snow and to look up at the blue of the sky. Sheba found a few furry bums to sniff, too. All the better. She did get into a scrap or two but it was all good. No blood was shed. We came home tired and hungry but also refreshed. So it was double the pleasure to sit with my tea, toast and jam while Sheba devoured her kibbles.

Now it is evening. I’m sitting with my wine, trying to tap the end to my mumblings. Perhaps the wine isn’t helping my thinking or writing. What I can say is morning is the best time for an energy burst. I indulge myself with reading in my tea time before breakfast. I’m still engrossed in Last Night in Twisted River. I love it. There’s lots on cooking in it since it is about a cook and his son. After breakfast I try to do the hard stuff – those chores of keeping house and lives in order. If I leave those for later, it doesn’t happen.

You must know by now that after lunch, my energy leaves town and me with it. Afternoon is the time I sit to tap even though I feel like napping. It’s working out. I’m succeeding and stretching for more. I’m learning to adapt my activities to my energy and time of day. It is a struggle but if I don’t struggle and stretch, I would end up being a puddle on the floor. I’m struggling now and will struggle to review and edit this – practicing to be patient.

 

 

 

 

NEW AND IMPROVED

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I am a creature of attachment. I hang onto the familiar. However, I can change. It takes me a little longer. Having successfully updated my Mac to High Sierra, I am now updating my MacBook Air, hoping it will improve the Photo app there. I am spending more time on my gadgets. But hopefully in the end it will save time.

But are new and improved better? I still cling to the old format of writing on WordPress. I am happy it’s still an option. I’ve tried the improved editor and it’s not copacetic with my brain. It stalls and won’t turn over. No letters or words are forthcoming. So why torture myself if it’s not better for me?

Day 7

Life and I are marching on slowly but steadily on this cold frosty morning. It’s -17 Celsius. The sun is brilliant. Sheba and I are toasty warm in the sunroom. I’m trying to be more in the real world, in real time. I’ve given thought as to what’s for dinner. The ham is out of the freezer, ready to be diced and fried with onions for the perogies. The soup from yesterday is ready to be reheated. The towels are in the washer. I’m experimenting using vinegar to boost the detergent power. Less detergent, less pollution of our water supply. Less detergent, more money in the pocket. It’s a win win.

The towels are done, looking clean and fluffy. I added 1/4 cup vinegar in the bleach dispenser and half of my usual detergent. Hope there is less soap residue left in the laundry and machine. It’s worthwhile to take the time to experiment new ideas and ways. It’s a good exercise for me to focus my impatient and fractured mind. I have to read directions, take each step and follow through. It drives me crazy, of course. But steps do quiet the frenzy in my brain. My MacBook Air has finished updating. The Photo app is much better with the High Sierra. Some improvements are real.

 

Day 8 in a year of…

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Day 8, July 30, 2016 @9:10 pm

I’ve left my musing for the day too late.  Now, I’m sitting in front of the television with the laptop on my knees.  Sheba insists that we watch television in the living room after supper.  You might think that it is crazy to be controlled by a dog.  But then it is us who has trained her by our own habits.  Dogs are creatures of habit.  So here I sit.  I hope I can think.  I could turn my TV volume down. Sheba has excellent hearing.

IMG_6797The morning started well, considering I had trouble sleeping last night.  I got up, made up, selected my earrings and other jewellery.  I’m experimenting with doing different.  It is ok to do more, even too much.  How else will I learn? There are no wrongs or mistakes in playing and trying out.  I thought about angles, lighting, posture and background for my selfies.  It takes practice to feel comfortable in making faces – even with no one around.  After a week,  it is starting to feel fun.

IMG_6802I don’t know how ideas travel, do you?  Where do they come from.  It popped into my head this morning that I should repeat the Mindfulness Summit.  I did the month long series of mindfulness in October 2015. Each day had a different speaker.  Today, Melli O’Brien interviewed Dr. Mark Williams. It was very helpful and pertinent to my project.

Assessing and writing at the end of today is not a good thing.  I am tired, feeling the heaviness of the heat and humidity.  I can hardly think and type.  But I am doing the best I can.  THE thing is  to show up here in this space each day to tell you how it was.  I hope you are here for me. Till tomorrow.