SWEATED MY TEARS

I wish I have better opening sentences but for today, this is good enough. I am not any more calm, cool or collected. I still have that ache behind my eyes. It’s probably what is call a tension headache. Things are better. I am suffering from post problem solving. It’s frustrating when you are doing your part and the other party stalls you by not returning phone calls or emails. It wears you out. But if you’re lucky to talk to the right party, amazingly you get that phone call or email the very next day. I don’t think I’m paranoid. Some companies know how to mess with your mind.

I’m lucky that I’ve been a nurse. Nurses are tenacious. We have to be. If a patient is suffering or in danger, we call. We don’t give up simply because nobody answers. We call and call. Then there’s that STAT page. And if it’s big trouble there’s that CODE BLUE or 99. Then there’s alot of hustling.

I didn’t have to do a Code Blue yesterday but I did make some noise. I got my email answered this morning. My mouth dropped. I was flooded with relief. No more frustration from this area at least – I hope. Cross my fingers and toes. I was relieved but exhausted by the experience. Strange that I felt teary. I would have liked to cry but I was on my way to my aerobics class. I sweated my tears out instead. It was all good.

The moral of the story is hang in there. It’s a little inane but that’s what you do. Things will and do work out if you follow up to the end.

 

WORK IN PROGRESS

I think of myself as work in progress, like dough rising to the occasion as time progresses.  Some days I rise higher and faster and other times I’m a little slower, but I always show up and make my best effort.  Today I am making bread.  The dough is rising in the heat.  I am wilting a little.  Win some and lose some.  That is how life is.

Today is the second day of my being FaceBook-less.  I have deactivated.  I am friendless.  It is exhilarating the first day.  It is so freeing not to have connections.  Well 158 is not that many to most FaceBookers but it is alot to me.  A woman is rich indeed if she has that many true friends.  I am lucky that I do have a few good friends but I am no social butterfly.  I am actually surprised that I have 158 people to add!  Day two sans FaceBook is not so carefree.  I have no notifications, no gossip, no photos, no news, no uppers or downers.  I have no emails.

I have no friends and no emails.  But….I do have a life.  And so today to quiet my unease of this new situation, I restarted my quigong exercises, I sewed, I baked and I wrote.  I am working on a life of quality, not quantity.  Tomorrow I will do something new, something to break my pattern of being always in my comfort zone.  I will dig for my passions.  I will get to know myself.  I will be my own best friend.  I am a work in progress.