denial

COURAGE – Day 40 in a year of …..

Day 40, August 31, 2016 @8:36 pm

imageSometimes I feel I’ve been in denial and fear most of my life. This is my brave moment – the awaking and seeing clearly and acknowledging. It is a great moment. At last, maybe I can let go of the frivolous, little petty things and be free to live the authentic life. That’s what I’m thinking, sitting before the fire, listening to the flames crackle, telling their stories to me.

What stories are you telling on this beautiful evening. I know. My stories are getting shorter. Maybe tomorrow I will have more to say.

ON THINGS THAT WORK

So the bread is in the oven.  I have these thirty minutes to reflect on my progress in changing habits.  How am I going?

I would say I am doing fabulously!  Having been in denial for years, buried under useless thoughts and musings, I have come up for air and light.  After reciting Dr. Phil’s phrase that the greatest insanity of all is to expect a different outcome from doing the same thing, I am changing.

I have had a few almost perfect days.  You might say that I have all my ducks in a row, even if it is only two of them.  I’ve been moving and grooving, cleaning and tidying at high speed, not obsessing, not thinking, just doing.  I’m not even stopping to smell the coffee!

I pick up.  I put away.  I wash.  I fold.  I iron.  I do…at a steady clip.  I save my dawdling for later.  I listen.  I look.  I try not to talk so much.  I breathe.  When things don’t work out, I let it go.  And when that fails, I let it be.  I do the best I can.