Tag Archives: autumn

Old Habits Die Hard

Posted on by
Reply

A cool, breezy but sunny September morning but it is warming up nicely. I am, too. My body is reluctant getting out of bed in the dark. It wasn’t till after 7 till I could face the day. Now it is an hour before noon. I have a pot of sour cherry syrup in the making on the stove. It’s one thing to have all the wonderful harvest of food. It’s another to make use of them. I still have last year’s haskaps, strawberries and raspberries gathering frost in the freezer. I still have last year’s apple and grape juice in the cooler. Thank goodness no apples and few grapes to juice this year.

I am a gatherer of everything but not much of a user of anything. I seem to run out of energy doing the first and nothing left to do the second. I hope to work to correct this aspect of myself this year. I ran out of energy after the first paragraph yesterday. It is hard to break out of myself. Perhaps I need to reread Joe Dispenza’s Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. Old habits die hard but I will persevere.

Today is cool, windy, grey and drizzling. Autumn is definitely in the air. However, the forecast continues to be favourable for the next week. I will leave the garden for awhile yet. No need to hurry with the clean up. Meanwhile, I am enjoying this cool windy day. It feels delicious to sip my tea and tap away on my keyboard. I’m defrosting a jar of soup for lunch in the microwave. I am making use of what I have. And I have returned to finish this post I started yesterday.

Some Days

Posted on by
Reply

I hate the responsibility part of being an adult. Though I live by number 46 of Regina Brett’s 50 Life Lessons of No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up, I hate it, too. Some days I rather not get up, dress up or show up. Some days I would like to hibernate in a log like a bear and wait until it is over. Have you had those days?

Some days being an adult feels like such a heavy burden. I can manage getting up, dressing up and even brushing my teeth. Showing up is the difficult part. But being the adult, the top rung of the ladder, I feel the heavy load. There’s no option of not showing up, taking responsibility, making decisions and such.

It’s been a few days since I’ve started this conversation. Some days conversations are difficult to sustain. It is damn hard to pick it up again but I am trying. It is a rainy September morning. The leaves are starting to turn colour. Autumn is on its way. The garden is still thriving. My greenhouse is finally lush with growth and harvest. I have much to do but there’s no rush. Everything will and can keep. There is a time and season for everything.

September sloth

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m slothing through these days of September. I’m not happy about it but I try not to give myself too much grief. Though the official date for autumn is September 21/22, the days have been steadily getting shorter. It was still dark at 6 this morning. The furnace was turned on to take the chill off. I could not will myself out of bed till after 7. I am learning to accept that my battery power is less in these days of dwindling daylight. It is ok to move slower, do less and gain a pound or two. It is wise not to fight nature. I will just do the best I can.

I am happy to learn that there was no frost last night. The garden is safe. We will be busy the next week or 2 harvesting and putting the garden to sleep for the coming winter. There’s always something to do. Right now I have a pot of tomatoes simmering on the stove. I’m saucing a quart of tomatoes a day. My goal is 12 quarts so 8 more quarts to go. The bread is out of the oven and cooling on the rack. The dishes are done. There’s just the loaf pans to wash. I better get to them.

Finishing, cleaning and putting things away are just as hard as starting something. The tomato sauce is in the jar. The bread is still cooling. All the pots and pans are washed and dried, almost put away. Congrats to myself for jobs done. Now I can relax and resume slothing.

SEASONS

Posted on by
1
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Autumn is perhaps a season I hate and love the most. It’s a contradiction and you wonder how it could be. I wonder myself. These last few days have been heavenly. My energy was boundless and flowed seamlessly. The days are golden and I feel on top of the world. I’m feeling the equinox high. I wish they could last forever. Knowing that it is not possible, I used the days to my advantage, harvesting, processing, cleaning. These chores are much easier and pleasureable when I’m buoyed by the sun. I feel a rhythm, a smoothness and a gladdening of my heart. I shall store the memory of this feeling for other days and seasons.

Those other times will surely come sooner or later. I will not be of good cheer. I will be stuttering in speech and movement. And everything will be hard and dark. But if I am wise, look and plan ahead, I can do the hard stuff on those sunny energized days. Then I have the luxury of sitting back, eating bonbons and taking care of ‘poor me‘ on those cloudy days. There would be less chance of me raining on someone’s parade. It’s a plan worth refining.

SMOOTHER SAILING

Posted on by
Reply

There’s a lot of truth in sayings. Everything does pass. If we can hang on, ride it out, things have a way of working out on its own. So that is what I did. I’ve passed those dangerous times of dark times and dark moods. I won’t say it’s smooth sailing from now on. But I am at ease and have regained some energy. I look forward to the mornings though I know I will wake in the dark. I can handle it. It is ok because in my mind’s eye, I can see and feel those sunny mornings. And if I can’t I can snuggle and luxuriate in the warmth of the bed.

I am enjoying the autumn, of slowly putting the garden and yard spaces to rest. I’m going with the tide, slowing down and resting my body and mind. There is no need to struggle. I have time to cook and simmer and fill the house with wonderful aromas. Somehow they have the power of lighting up my inner world. And while I’m prepping the garden for sleep, I am also preparing for the spring. I’m gathering seeds, drying and storing them. Come February, the waking process starts.

There is many things to do and enjoy. There’s time to do and enjoy. But I know dark times and dark moods can come again. Today I’m reminded of the prayer of St. Teresa of Avila. It is very comforting when comfort is needed.

Let nothing disturb you, 
Let nothing frighten you, 
All things are passing away: 
God never changes. 
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing; 
God alone suffices.

ENOUGH AND MORE

Posted on by
Reply

September 28th. The morning is dark as can be at 6. It’s hard to bounce out of bed with enthusiasm and start the day. I linger awhile in the warmth of my dark cocoon. We have had a good stretch of summer and sunshine. The memory of early sunrises is still fresh on my mind. Now it is time for nature, myself included, to slow down and rest. It is the time to have and savour a second cup of tea.

The sun is out now at almost 8 am, flooding my space with its cool autumny light. Summer is not willing to go yet. The forecast promises a day of sunshine and a high of 28℃. I shall use today to clear and put the garden to bed. No need or use to hang on to every little squash or whatever until the cold bitter frost. I can learn to use the word enough instead of more. I need to gather, clean and put away my gardening tools. Then there’s all the plant pots, trays and crop covers strewn here and there. I have never been good at picking up and putting things away. It’s never too late to learn. It’s much more conducive to work and clean up in sunshine and warmth.

That is my plan for the day. I have a two hour online class after lunch from the University of Saskatchewan on our post pandemic world. It is enough. From experience I work best in small and enough instead of big, more and better. This is enough, too.

NOT ANY TIME SOON

Posted on by
Reply

September 12/20

It’s another Saturday morning. My Sheba is on my mind, good memories of our time together. My arm is still aching down to my hand from my shingles vaccine earlier in the week. This reminds me of my mother’s experience with shingles. It also started on a Saturday. It was a very, very bad time. Hence, my vaccine. She was very vocal in urging all of us to get it. Thankfully she’s recovered with minimal damage.

Not all Saturdays are equal. I still love Saturdays. It used to be my weekly swim morning before Covid. I’ve adjusted to Tuesdays and Thursdays now. Double the pleasure. I did cancel out twice this week. Apps are so wonderful in many ways. I just push the CANCEL button to unbook my time. No questions asked. It would have been wonderful if there was such an app for work. You wouldn’t have to worry about not sounding sick enough phoning in sick.

Saturday mornings used to be cleaning chore time when I was a kid. We used to live in this small rented house behind our cafe in Maidstone. It belonged to the town doctor. The kitchen floor was worn through in spots. I can still see it in my mind’s eye after all these years. It made for difficult washing.

Sept. 13/20

It’s Sunday and I’m stuck. I have lots to do but can’t seem to find a way to start. Have you ever been here? I was like that yesterday, too. I couldn’t even finish yesterday’s entry. I’ve left it hanging and dangling. Will have to backtrack. What I did do was tackle things that I could start on -like cleaning behind the fridge and stove and cleaning the toilet. I did a load of laudry and picked a pail of tomatoes. So it was not a lost day.

I will have to do the same today. Start where I can. I will sort the tomatoes.

September 17/20

My energy is one with autumn. It is the season for slowing down. I certainly have! I’m resigned to it. I go to bed each evening with new resolves of doing better, doing more. I wake up each morning not wanting to and not knowing how to. There’s nothing to do but do the best I am able to. I will move if there is something urgent. That is how we are built. If there is an emergency, we will bust ass.

In the meantime, I’m putting one foot in front of the other. It’s not as if I am just parked on my butt all day. It just feels so. Feelings can be false. I’ve stuck to my exercise regime – swim Tuesday and Thursday. I did not push the CANCEL button. AND I went to the AM Energizer aerobics class on Wednesday. Hurray for me! My lunch dishes are done. I’ve rinsed off my swim suit and gear from this morning. I’m showing up here, tapping as best as I can. What I really want to do is to fall asleep and wake up energized. I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon.

But onward ho!

 

THE COLOUR OF MY DAYS

Posted on by
Reply

Here I am. I’m finally showing up after all the things I’ve said and done. I haven’t been living up to my written words. I’ve been tired and overwhelmed, caught up in no emergencies, but everyday life. All of a sudden, or so it seemed, I realized that I was stressed, smothered and snowed under. What other s word can I think of?

Here’s the thing. I had to stand back and let things go. I did get up, dress up and show up. What I couldn’t do was the doing part. I still held this space in my thoughts. Empty spaces are necessary. Silence has its beauty. We all need a break for something new to come in. I’m glad for having given myself this stretch of emptiness and silence. I’m more restful and peaceful now. My head was screaming and screeching something fierce. It took me a long time to hear it.

These last few days of October have been beautiful. The blue skies, the sunshine, the autumn leaves. I felt one with the universe. Sheba and I enjoyed longer afternoon walks, drinking and storing the ambience for lesser days. I’m making hay while the sun shines. I’m learning to take the good fortune when the opportunity comes. I’m learning to let go when I need to.

SOME ENCHANTED AFTERNOON

Posted on by
3

Some enchanted afternoon I like to drop all my cares and to do list. To hell with them, I would say. I would put on my coat, scarf and toque. I would gather up Sheba, my fur baby and head out the door. We would open the gate and saunter out into the afternoon sunshine. The air might be a bit frosty but oh, it’s so refreshing.

All thoughts fall away and we are in the moment. We pick up our heels and kick a pile of fresh fallen leaves. They’re still ever so green. The frost caught them by surprise. Overhead, we can hear the rustle of the remaining leaves. They are not yet ready to let go. Just a little bit longer, just a little longer, they whispered.

This was our enchanted afternoon. The sky was blue and the grass still green. The yellow, orange and brown leaves crunched under my feet. My mind is idle but my senses are alive. I feel ever so enchanted by autumn’s palette before my eyes. I could ask no more of the day.