Tag Archives: am I having fun yet

Am I Having Fun Yet?

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A beautiful sunny October 5 albeit very cool and crisp. I’m feeling very cosy and full of gratitude for the shelter and all that I have. I’m comforted that my mother is safe and at rest in her eternal home. It is almost a year now. Today I am not feeling the sadness of yesterday. That is how it is. One day I’m feeling and mourning the loss. The next, I’m grateful she is not suffering anymore.

Today is day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m already feeling the struggle and challenge. I can’t say I’m having fun yet. I’m feeling the mundanenss of everything. Perhaps it would help if I have a business or product to promote. I see many of my fellow bloggers have shopping carts and services on their web page. I have to be satisfied with my idle chatter. What I know for sure is I am not an entrepreneur. My eyes glaze over just thinking of selling something.

So I should just snap out of envying others’ entrepreneurship and be happy they have a business to promote. It is not for me. I am showing up here. That is my number 1 goal. I am trying my best. The fun can come later. I enjoy just chattering. I do not have to be profound.

AM I HAVING FUN YET

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January 18. The Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Another day enclosed in the grey. I tried dipping my toes into my fun list this afternoon. I didn’t have any nail polish on hand. Otherwise, I might have had some fun. I used to have a couple of bottles laying around forever and a day. I could have used them today. So I had throwaway regrets. Next, I tried origami. I have a kit I bought when I was in Japan a million years ago. The instructions were diagrams without words. It was a bit complicated. Maybe I should have started on page 4 instead of 22. As a result, my tulip is a little too top heavy.

Next, I played a little piano. I was not engaging so I gave up after 20 minutes. It’s really no fun when I’m feeling so blasè. I had been reading Babel and it was interesting but in my mood, a dark fantasy about colonalism would make my mood darker. I thought about resorting to John Grisham’s The Client, but I got onto YouTube and found this. I was engaged, caught up in the music and movement of this couple ice skating.

It wasn’t really what you would call fun but I was at least distracted from my grey feelings for a few minutes. Perhaps I should not try so hard running away from these feelings/days. Just accept and ride/ease them through without a fight/struggle. Perhaps there’s a purpose for them.