About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.

April Mornings

Posted on April 2, 2025 by hafong

April mornings are still dark enough that I’m not ready to spring out of bed like an eager bunny. I still snuggled into my covers even though I’ve been awake for awhile. I have to work my way out in my head first. First I have to throw off the warmth of the silk quilt and let the cool air rouse me out of bed. Then the rest is history as they say.

I haven’t been keen on going to the gym the last couple of weeks either. I tell myself that it is ok. I’m resting and healing. I do enough. I move enough. I’m resetting, turning myself off to save energy. I am very careful now where my energy goes. I don’t want to lose any needlessly. There’s been many losses this year. I don’t want to cry crocodile tears. In fact, I haven’t cried at all with losing my mother in October. It seemed so strange to lose her after all these years. Then shortly after, I lost my hearing – all of it for awhile. I hadn’t cried then either.

Everything was strange, bizarre and traumatic. It left me no energy to mourn the passing of my mother. It left me no energy to be angry, sad or depressed. I prayed and asked for many prayers. After these many months, I have gained much of my hearing back. I am filled with gratitude and awe. It has been such a life changing year. So much loss and yet so much gain at the same time. I’m grateful for these grey April mornings, too. They’re restful. I don’t have to be an EverReady bunny, going on and on.

First Day(s)

Posted on April 1, 2025 by hafong

April Fools’ Day is cloudy and cool. It is also the first day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve been a frequent participant though I did skipped the one in December. We write a post every day for the month of April, publish it on our own site before adding it to the Ultimate Blog Challenge page. I do it because I love words and writing. Writing helps me to process my thoughts. It is meditation for me. I meet people. It helps build community. We do become friends, supporting and cheering each other on.

Those are the main reasons. I am not ambitious. I don’t have a product to sell. I don’t even have a great website. It is just plain talk, chatting while I’m tapping on the keyboard and sipping on a cup of tea. My goal is just to show up each day with some words and to read a few posts from other participants. Wish me luck.

Retrieving My Soul

Posted on March 31, 2025 by hafong

There’s a rhythm in having a daily routine, in having some daily challenges no matter how small they are. Life is no small thing. It’s a big deal just getting out of bed in the morning for me in these times. I find myself lingering and lingering, burrowing into my covers. I find myself wondering what the heck happened to the me who couldn’t wait for the morning, the night before. The thought then does propel me out of bed. That action starts the ritual of getting dressed, washing face, brushing teeth and showing up.

The memories of sunnier times, of well being helps me going forward to find and retrieve my spirit, my soul and purpose. So I draw and paint my teacup for the day. I write these few words for today’s post. It’s a good beginning for the day.

Not Drowning

Posted on March 30, 2025 by hafong

I’ve been warned by WordPress that I’m over my limit for media files since I’ve reverted back to a free plan. I have to delete alot of already uploaded photos or pay. Otherwise I will be blocked if I try to use any photos already uploaded. Since I’m just limping along here, I will keep it simple in just words. I’m drowning most days in inertia and overwhelm, I don’t need the added stress. So it’s plain Jane writing from now on till….

I just hate this feeling of inertia and overwhelm. It makes me want to throw up. Yet, it is very difficult to discard and overcome. I had to do alot of heaving this morning to work it out in my head, then will my body to move. Gravity is a heavy thing. I’ve been in #the100dayproject now for over a month. I’ve been drawing and painting teacups for over a month. It’s become a habit so that is something I started the morning with. Once the inertia is broken, it is easier to keep moving.

I was able to keep moving, setting up the Roomba for 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. Meanwhile, I ran the dust mop in the livingroom, diningroom and kitchen. I did not aim for a perfect clean. Good enough is good enough. My goal this year is to keep from drowning, to keep my nose above the waterline. Now I’m here tapping on the keyboard, warming up these fingers, practicing, finding words and sentences to keep going for April.

Start Where I am

Posted on March 29, 2025 by hafong

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I’m back, trying to tap out a few words, a few thoughts. It is not easy. It is damn difficult starting…anything. It’s torture actually trying to find an opening. So, I’ll just start where I am. It is almost April. I’ve signed up for the April Ultimate Blog Challenge. Challenges have a way of giving me a boost. I’m warming up and flexing my fingers for the keyboard. I need not be clever. I need not be profusive. I just need a few thoughts and a few sentences.

Life has been bumpty, with more than just a few twists and turns. I’m not here to tell sob stories but they might spill out just the same. I’m here to get out of those ruts and puddles and back to the flow of life. I’m hoping to tap out some insights and solutions. I’m hoping to get back some oomph. I’ve been a dishrag for too many months now. I don’t wear dishrags well. I hope to inspire myself.

While I was dumbstruck this morning, I seeded some kohlrabi and cabbage. I soaked some bitter melon seeds for easier germination. Then I washed some dishes. It’s better to do something, anything rather than being stuck motionless. Now I’m on the way. I’ve broken the ice. I hope my words will flow for the April writing challenge.

Just Words

Posted on December 12, 2024 by hafong

It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I’ve lost the number of days. I’ve lost my train of thought. I’ve given up my paid personal plan for this site. Now it’s just plain Jane with advertisements. I hope there won’t be too many ads. I hope I still have readers. I am not sure if I can decorate my words with photos since I’ve way over my limit for this freebie WordPress site. We shall see but I will not test it today.

Today it will be just plain words. I’m testing my fingers to see if they still work. I haven’t exercised them for many days. I’m a little anxious on coming back. I’ve had some health issues since the passing of my mother in October. I think I am on the mend though it doesn’t feel like it. Since words have always been my salvation, I thought I would write myself well. It won’t be easy but I can make a start.

My fingers and the rest of me have gone to mush in these last few weeks. Though I can’t do big, I can do small. What I can do each day is a few words, a few sentences. I can start a gratitude journal. I can walk a block or so a day. I can meditate a few minutes a day. I can do a few minutes of stretching and qigong. I can. I can. I can.

Things I Cannot Change

Posted on November 30, 2024 by hafong

I am enjoying Katherine May’s Wintering, the Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. It reads to me as I am going through this difficult passage in my life. Her thoughts are my thoughts. Her feelings are my feelings. It is very strange how the book came into my awareness. Someone up/out there knows I need a little help. I did beseeched my mother if she could just give me a little help here. I know she’s up there.

I find myself bartering with the powers that be that if I could come out the other side of this, I would be ever so good. Have you ever done that? I take some deep breaths, position my hands on the keyboard and try to find words and sentences to heal myself. The Serenity Prayer came to mind.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

The words are calming, giving me confidence. I am accepting the things I cannot change. I am doing what I can to help myself. Now I have to chill and not waste my energy in ways that will not help me. I am remembering St. Teresa of Avila’s prayer that have always been so comforting.


Let nothing disturb you,
let nothing frighten you,
all things will pass away.
God never changes;
patience obtains all things,
whoever has God lacks nothing.
God alone suffices. Amen.

Sunrise, Sunset

Posted on November 28, 2024 by hafong

Life surely is hard. I wonder how any of us can survive it, but we do. There is no choice. I had given myself permission to check out for awhile. There was no other choice. Now it is time to check back in. I am starting my days with my qigong practice of 18 movements. It begins with a sunrise and ends with a sunset. The in-between movements can be done in any order. I like to keep the same order as it is easier to remember.

It’s only five and a half weeks since my mother’s passing. She left on a warm October day. Her flowerbeds were still blooming with marigolds, petunias and snapdragons. She saw the sunrise and the sunset. She left in the evening, well before midnight. She was always thoughtful in that way, not wanting to cause us too much trouble.

I have not had much time to process her leaving. There was so much to do. There was my father’s grief and health to tend to. Then there was mine. You can’t get out of Dodge very fast or easily, especially when you are not Wyatt Earp with a speedy horse. So we’ve limped along slowly but surely. I think we are out of the danger zone into recovery now. One slow day at a time.

Saturday Chatter (#NaBloPoMo)

Posted on November 9, 2024 by hafong

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my mother left this earth. I’m not sure it feels real yet. When I wake in the morning, I feel a vacuum in my heart. It leaves me breathless, grasping at straws. How does one fill the space? How is one suppose to proceed? Not having a handbook to go by, I have to find my own way.

I proceed as usual, according to my motto by Regina Brett – No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. It’s a good way to start the day. Since I am not one for punishment, I’m working on ways to comfort and ease myself through this period of mourning. I find it restful to sit with my cuppa in silence and the morning darkness. Then I went through the 18 movements of a qigong practice I had started years ago. They’ve been neglected for a long while. They came back after a couple of days. Pain and suffering called them back.

Sometimes it is hard to go out in the world. I am unsure and jittery just stepping out of the house. I do it anyways. It is hard backing the car out of the garage. It is hard to drive it anywhere. My nerves are raw. I talk them down. My senses are altered. I take it slower. But it is good for me to venture forth this morning, to meet my dear friends for breakfast. They are the glue that holds me together.

My guy is the other glue. We went to see an art exhibit in the afternoon. It would be hard for me to navigate a crowd on my own. The art collection was by my art instructor. Her work is beautiful. She’s so talented and such a good teacher. She’s also very warm, kind and generous. The show was at the art store where we feel a small part of its community. It was all good for my soul.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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