Monthly Archives: May 2022

WHINING TIMES

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So..I’m experiencing a low grade kind of the blues. It’s the kind of nibbles on the edges of my mind, keeping me a bit uncomfortable, feeling guilty, feeling selfish. It’s whispering to me that I can do more, be more of this and that. It’s kind of convincing though not necessarily the truth. I thought it best I come here and toss things around like you would a salad. The heavy stuff tend to sink to the bottom. I like to bring some of them up to the top. I like to have a good look at them.

I had to get another cup of tea, of course, and have a scroll through social media and star gaze a little. Not that I am such a fan of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urbane. I’ve seen some of her movies but I’ve never listened to his music. I like Johnny Depp as an actor, but he is kind of a scary dude with a sinister smile. And all those rings! I bet they can cause serious damage if they connect with your face. I’ve never heard of Amber Heard before this but I believe her. I am really surprised at how much support Johnny Depp is getting and how much trashing Amber is getting, even from women. But enough of this movie stars shit. What about me?

Yes, what about me? I’m trying not to let my moods and feelings interfere with life. I am listening to them and giving them due respect. The thing is no matter how I feel, I still have to get up, dress up and show up. No matter what, I would feel better if I wash my face, brush my teeth and fashion my hair in the morning. I’m really wisening up – late. It’s better than never. I could save myself time and angst if I develop some good followup habits. What do I mean? Okay, some examples:

  • meditate every moring to clear my mind. It helps to keep distraction to a minimum.
  • complete each task and put everything back in place before moving on
  • write down reminders
  • do what I can today rather than tomorrow
  • throw out things that are of no use today rather than tomorrow
  • make a daily schedule of what needs/want to do
  • schedule regular write times here. So I will show up here Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. They coincide with my aerobic exercise classes. They will be my whining times to get things off my chest, to hatch new ideas, to mark my progresss.

I think this is enough for today. Best keep it short and not overwhelm myself. Too much could and would throw me off track. I have successfully tossed my salad. The weighty stuff dealt with and nothing nagging on the edges of my mind. No voices whispering in my ear.

THE DAY AFTER

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I have mixed feelings at the end of one month and the beginning of a new one. I am glad and sad. Glad to have closure of the old and a new beginning. I’m always sad saying farewell to the known and old. It is good to see the backside of April, the month of uncertainty. April wasn’t winter any more but it wasn’t quite spring either. We’ve had ups and downs. One day it was hot, the next cold with snow. Can we safely say that it is now definitely spring?

I definitely feel lighter and brighter. So glad that many challenges done. The Tax Return done and over for another year. The Ultimate Blog Challenge over. April Love over. I have about 22 days left in #the100dayproject. I have 22 drawings/watercolour to go. I’m working on putting together last year’s 100 quilt squares together. I have to sew 4 quilt squares to make one block. I now have 8 blocks. So 17 blocks to go. After that I have to put the 25 blocks together, add quilt battling, backing and sew everything together. It is best not to think of it all at once. I’m sure to overwhelm myself that way.

Now it is 2 days after April, 1:33pm. Lunch is over and dishes done. This is the worst time of day for me. I’m usually hit with overwhelming fatigue and sleepiness. Today is not as bad though I do lack ambition and energy. I am pushing myself to do my necessary activities of daily living. It takes effort and willpower but hey, nobody says anything is easy. I am sad to hear about Naomi Judd’s death due to mental illness. She had always been opened and outspoken about her depression. I do like the Judd’s music but I am not what you would call an ardent fan. I feel the connection because we are women and I have suffered depression. Who hasn’t? And I was also a nurse.

Because of Naomi, I am feeling a little more vulnerable today. I am more sensitive to the need of taking better care of our mental as well as physical health. No matter who we are, how rich, how famous, we all age and suffer the same. It is important to know ourselves and others and the world around us. It is important to keep putting one foot in front of the other the best we can every single day. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.