Tag Archives: writing

ON WRITING/READING

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November 24. Good morning! It’s another new day and another blank page. I thought I would talk about writing since I am reading Stephen King’s On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft. It’s a very good read. He is a very successful writer. I would heed his advice. That’s the biggest light bulb moment for me just now – to listen to those humble successful people. I’ve wasted so much energy and time on little pesky critical thinking-they-know-it-alls. Come to think of it now, I’m guilty of being a know-it-all myself. Eeek! Writing can be illuminating, spotlighting my own flaws. It’s like dust motes in sunlight. Now that I know, I will do better. No more unsolicited advice.

Stephen King’s advice to be successful at writing is that you have to read and write alot. I have been reading since I can read, first in Chinese and then in English. I have long since lost my Chinese. I had only a grade 2 when we came to Canada, but I could read my mother’s Chinese books. Being 8 or 9 years old, my mother didn’t want me to read her adult fiction books. Shed encouraged me to read newspapers and to learn English. You can imagine what happened with that advice. 

I HAD to learn English. It came easily with the help of Dick, Jane, Sally, Spot, Puff and my teacher, Miss Woodall. I can’t remember the exact moment that I held up my hand to ask permission when I felt nature calling. Before that I just got up and left the classroom and went to the basement where the batheooms were. I am surprised I remember all that and their names after all these years! I’m at an age where my memory is deteriorating. Writing is good for brain health. It would be so much better if I can make it a regular daily morning habit. My mutterings could serve as my memory and mood board. It could serve as my brain health chart.

Books were and still are good friends. Libraries are happy places for me. We didn’t have a library in our little town then. A library on wheels came to town maybe once a month. I think you can get more books more often by ordering through the mail. I can’t remember how that worked but the postage was free. I read many of the Little House on the Prairies , Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys books through that system. Then there were Little Women, Little Men, the Bobbsey Twins and…

Enough now for today. Keeping it simple, let me finish with my 3 daily gratitudes.

  • I am grateful for this morning’s ski in the North and South Park. The track was not great today but still ski-able. I got fresh air and exercise.
  • I am grateful for today’s mobility class. We ran through a range of exercises for various joints. I always come out feeling better than before.
  • I am grateful my mood is improving. I am feelings bits of sparkling joy.

WORKING IT!

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November 23. Another new day, another blank page. I’m starting today with my gratitude list.

  • I’m grateful I had a good night’s sleep.
  • I’m grateful for another day.
  • I’m grateful I have a plan

My plan going into 2023 is keeping things simple and practicing good housekeeping in everything. I will borrow some of Marie Kondo’s ideas. Not that I know a lot about her method, but I do love this part of her philosophy. 

The KonMari Method is a simple but effective tidying method, ensuring you will never again relapse to clutter. It uses a unique selection criterion – choosing what sparks joy! You are not choosing what to discard but rather choosing to keep only the items that speak to your heart. Through tidying, you can reset your life and spend the rest of your life surrounded by the people and things that you love the most. 

I love the idea of sparkling joy. Who wouldn’t? It takes work and thought. It doesn’t just happen. I had it for a long spell, then lost it. That’s how life is. Now I’m working on how to get it back. It will be better now that I am conscious of what I’ve lost. In this moment of not so many sparkles, I remember going to bed looking forward to the morning. I like working on stuff. Working on myself is loving and pampering myself.

I will be a detective, examining and assessing everything to see if they will help or deter, build or wreck. In that light, I will not update this MacBook just now. i’m keeping things simple. Everything is working good enough. Pages is working pretty slick with a word count. It is bringing me joy. Keeping it simple, this is enough for today. Onward with life. 

THE HUNT FOR TOOLS

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It’s another new day, another blank page to be filled as I please. But I am hampered by emotions, memories and habits of the past. They are a burden and not easily cleared. Though I want to let go and move on, I’m a bit stuck on my old treadmill. I’m on a hunt for tools to help me. 

The first one that I thought of is choosing a word for the year. It was introduced to me by Susanna Conway in her Unravel Your Year workbook. It hasn’t worked well for me in the past because I don’t do anything past choosing a word. It is a bad habit of mine. I don’t do the work after making the decision. Another bad habit is when I come to a difficult part, I am unable or not willing to push pass it and I stay stuck. Changes and learning new ways of doing and being are hard. I am now trying to rectify it. My word(s) for 2023 are simplify and good housekeeping.  

Nothing stays the same, no matter how much we like them to or how hard we hang onto them. And I do the both of them, tooth and nail. What happens then is my head is overflowing with stuff as well as my desk, computers, cupboards, closets and whatever that can hold stuff. I haven’t been up to par with cleaning and maintenance. My head and computer are somewhat broken. My iMac is still updating from yesterday. I hope it works after everything is done. As for my head, I hope it clears as I clear my outer space.

I have to keep things small and simple in order to succeed. My iMac has finally finished updating. It did not correct the missing info icon on my WordPress Add New page. But it did knocked out my Pages, Numbers and Keynote. They are no longer compatible with my operating system as are their new versions on the App Store. Drat! Now I am afraid to update my MacBook in case it does the same. That’s for another day.

Meanwhile, I have done a little housekeeping. I found and deposited the 3 government cheques I have received over the last few months before they’ve expired. The fresh air and walk to the bank was good except for the time of day. It was after school and work time so there was heavy foot and car traffic. Teenagers like to walk together abreast, taking up the whole sidewalk. They do not have consideration to break apart to make room for me coming from the opposite direction. I like to give them a kick but I do not.

Enough complaining. To keep things simple, I shall end here. I’m happy to discover that my Pages, Numbers and Keynote still work in the Cloud. The miracles of technology. 

HEADING TOWARDS COPACETHIC

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November 21. Another new day and blank page. I am feeling better and not so broken. I’m heading towards copacethic. Sometimes it takes falling off the wall like Humpty Dumpty, breaking before I could see where I was going. I’m happy to say that I didn’t need all the king’s horses and men to put me back together again. I’m moving cautiously, not wanting to fall into the same hole again. I’m learning from Portia Nelson’s poem.

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit… but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

I am not ambitious today. I skipped today’s exercise class to rest and put myself back together. We don’t have to keep busy. It’s ok to stop and just hang out. I haven’t languish for ever so long. I’ve lost my knack for it. I’ve been busy all day but it’s at a good pace, not rushing anywhere or striving to accomplish. I’m keeping things simple. I’m liking my new look on WordPress. I would like to figure out how to get the word count back. However, I am satisfied to let that rest for now.

In STUCKVILLE and CLUTTERVILLE

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Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

November 10. It’s strange how easily I’m sidetracked into scrolling and reading trash about aging movie stars. Who are these people writing these stories and what is their agenda in hijacking my and others’ attention? It’s difficult enough dealing my own aging journey – fading memory, hair loss, wrinkles, crickety joints.

November 16. Absent almost a week. I’m still not immuned to scrolling, having just read about the life of Brooke Astor. It is rather fascinating though of what use to me, I have no idea. I seem to have these stuck inescapeable moments of uselessness. Rather than trying to fight them, I might as well ride them out as best as I can. They must serve some purpose somehow. Drat, now I’m caught up in a post about Lisa Marie Preseley.

November 17. Still in Stuckville and Clutterville. My inner world is reflected in my outer world. I shall not fret so much upon everything. It’s a difficult thing to do. The news is full of how much our world is over run by the flu, our healthcare system overwhelmed and lack of medicine on the shelves. This morning I got one of those bothersome phone calls. The voice was ominous, full of dire and threatening if I didn’t know any better. I didn’t press #1 to find a solution. Who are these people preying on the fears of people? How can we discern real information from fake ones?

I shall not try to do any deep thinking or problem solving. My brain is unreliable presently. It is best that I just deal with the bare necessary items essential to having an ok day. Having a set routine is good. I like to play Wordle in the morning with my tea. The exercise is good for warming up my brain. I’m still doing my c.a.r.s. exercises waiting for the kettle to boil to make tea. The reason the habit sticks is because it works and I feel the benefits every day. I can get out of bed every morning without collapsing, feeling fairly limber. I can go for daily walks without pain in my left ankle. So not all is lost. I can still do some good stuff.

I made yogurt this morning and cleaned up right after. I’m finally making some progress with this post. It’s a far cry from showing up every day like I wanted to. But I am showing up when I can. I made an order to Lee Valley. I was late in getting the pie plates on sale. That will teach me to dally instead of acting on it when the sale was announced. I felt the pain at first but it disappeared after I finalized the order. It is just a number. The pie plates will last my life time.

WINTERIZING AND PLANNING

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November 7. November is the hardest month. It seems like we had so many warm golden days in October. I had just gotten used to walking daily again and enjoying it immensely. All of a sudden we are plunged into the cold darkness of November. The snow came and is presently coming down big time. At least it lit up the darkness. I have taken up shoveling now instead of my walk. I have the work cut up for me. I am tired from the day.

Seeing the low temperatures in the forecast, I could not deny that winter is here. November is not remembered for sunny days. It was time to put the greenhouse to sleep till March. We harvested all the tomatoes and bitter melons before we went to bed the night before. We didn’t want to risk losing them. In the morning, the greenhouse temperature read at 1 point something Celsius with the little heater set to keep it about 6℃. After harvesting what was missed and rescuing the potted plants into the house, I unplugged the heater. The trays of plants remained on the basement floor till I can deal with them. I have spread out the tomatoes on trays so they can ripen. The bitter melons, cucumbers, peppers and slipper gourds are bagged and in the fridge.

My next chore was shrink wrapping the windows in the sunroom. It seemed like it was just yesterday that I added the sunroom. It’s been 30 years. The windows are still very good but not as weather proofed as they once were, especially the ones that can open. Shrink wrapping them seemed deceivingly simple to do in my head. They proofed otherwise. It took me all afternoon to do 3 windows – the 2 screened ones and another. Not perfect but good enough. It was an exhausting job. Good thing I’m still nimble enough to climb onto my desk. It was difficult to access one window. I’m thinking of doing 4 more now that I got the hang of it. It will keep the room warmer and save on the energy bill.

November 8. I’m none the worse this morning. I did take a Tylenol before I went to bed last night and had a good sleep. I took another one just now to help me with the day and more shoveling. I missed the lunar eclipse, not knowing there was going to be one. There won’t be another one for a long time. That’s ok. I can look at other people’s experiences and photos. I got boiled milk cooling to make yogurt. Then onward and outward to deal with the snow. I’m finishing my tumeric tea before my morning exercise to loosen and lubricate my joints. Have to keep moving. That’s the plan, adding it onto my already 22 tiny habits. It is the 23rd. I have curried pumpkin chickpea soup defrosting. It will be lunch along with garlic ribs and rice.

COMFORT MEASURES

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November 5. It’s almost my bedtime but I am not sleepy yet. I shall tap out a few words. They will be my hot chocolate to soothe me this windy snowy night. It has not been as bad as I had expect it to be though I’m hearing the wind howling something terrible right this minute. The sun did not make any kind of showing all day. The day was drab and grey, casting an uneasy spell over me. There was no use complaining about it. It was what it was. I made the best of it despite my unease.

I couldn’t seem to move very fast during times and moods like these. And I could’t quite pull myself together, to be alert, exuberant and full of cheer. It’s not that I am sad, unhappy, feeling bad or anything out of the ordinary. It’s like I’m stuck, lacking the easy flow of a good day. Intellectually, I know the best therapy is to be busy. I stuck to my routine starting with my morning exercises. I made some choke cherry jelly yesterday which I thought didn’t set. I thought I would fix them right away so they wouldn’t weigh heavily on me. Much to my surprise and pleasure, I was wrong. They had jelled. What a good start to help me with the day. It led to one thing after another. I had occupation. I was soothed.

The house is quite. I can really hear the wind now. It’s wearing on me. I can see the lights of city trucks going by. I am glad that I was able to get out in the early afternoon to do some shoveling at my parents and at home. The snow was wet and heavy. It was and still is snowing but at least I’ve cleared some. It’ll be less for tomorrow. Besides it was good exercise and I got some fresh air and light even though it was cloudy. Doing something physical and that was needed lifts my spirit. I knew when I’m finished I will treat myself with a hot drink and something delicious.

November 6. Morning has broken but still no sun and not much more snow. The wind has blown the sidewalks clear. Not much shoveling needed today. I am somewhat at a loss as what to do in the early mornings. I hate wasting time but that’s what I do, scrolling through Facebook. It is too early and too jarring to start banging on the piano. Maybe I need to rethink that. In the meantime I found my keyboard theory book. I’ve had enough time on the keyboard with scales and such. I know enough now to question what is this and that and everything. I’m not too old to learn. I still have the curiosity and the desire.

I have taken out some frozen pumpkin puree from last year to defrost. The plan for today is to bake a sourdough pumpkin quick loaf and some muffins. I have to work on making plans more often. I will add it to my list of 21 Tiny Habits, making it 22. I need plans and routes to reach my goals and destinations. I have a good feel to the day. I feel the flow of a good day.

ON DIFFICULT TIMES

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November 2, the second day of a new month. I’m still motivated and since it is NaNoWriMo I could come to this space and write a post a day. I don’t have it in me to write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days. I have tried to a couple of times and failed. I’m a woman of few words. I believe what I have to say is more important than the number of words. It could be that I am just comforting myself with that idea. It works. Comfort is what is needed in November.

I am still pleased with myself on how I am staying on course with my missions began in October. Some days are better than others. No matter how they are, I keep plodding along. If I do fall and I have, I pick up where I had left off. I do not think I am behind. It’s a phrase I picked up from The FlyLady. I’ve been on this self-help, self-improvement gig a long time. Even though I am no longer a FlyLady follower, some things stick, coming back to help me along this road. I never give up. I pick myself up,dust myself off and continue on. The road of life is very interesting. There are many things to see and learn.

It just happens that I am reading novels about the times of the Depression and the Dust Bowl. The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah and Whose Names Are Unknown by Senora Babb are excellent reads. The Four Winds was published in 2021. Whose Names Are Unknown was written in the 1930s, not published till 2006. These stories of those difficult finanical times and ecological disasters are revelant to what is happening in today’s pandemic and climate change world. They also remind me of our early years in Canada as immigrants. They were lean though we had a roof over our heads, warm clothing and we never went hungry. Our little rented 2-room house was between the cafe and the town outhouse. Often it was mistaken for the outhouse. It had a pot-belly stove and peeling floors. We lived in the community but we were not of the community. It was no one’s fault. I’ve never felt despair. Difficult times prepared me for living.

November 3. I woke to see snow on the ground. I felt it before I saw it. It was not enough to light up the world. It was still pitch black at 6 am and -5℃. It got colder to -7℃ but the sun is shining on me at 9:22 am. The greenhouse is sitting at 6℃. I hope the sun will linger though the forecast calls for clouds. Traffic is moving slow on this first day of snow. It is backed up from Taylor to 8th Street as we are on the only street out of StoneBridge. I wonder what could happen if there was a huge emergency. How will vehicles get in and out? Best not to think about such things so early in the morning. Bad things might not happen if we don’t think on it. Somehow, I don’t think things work that way. Just look at history. Wish we could/would learn from it. Wish we could do better. If horses were wishes.

NOVEMBER – A New Month of Challenges

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November 1, end of October and a new beginning. Though the October Ultimate Blog Challenge is over, challenges are not over for me. I’m the type of person who finds everything hard. At one point in my life I vowed not to let that word enter my vocabulary. It’s hard, too hard. I know I’m weak with vows. Now I am using the word with abandon. Life is just too flipping hard and if using the word makes me feel better, why not, eh?

I’m not like most women. I hate shopping. I have to gear up to go to Costco. Thinking about it fills me with yuck but it’s time and it’s hard. I need stuff and they have it all there and at a good price. I know having intentions doesn’t mean anything unless I follow through. So I made my list, got into the car and drove. Funny it wasn’t hard after that. I went up and down the aisles with my cart and list. An hour later I was through the checkout with $500 less in my bank account. The next challenge was to load everything in the car and get home.

I have to file the memory that it wasn’t hard after I get into the car. The trick was not to pay attention to my feelings but the need to do. That was my focus, too, on getting everything into the house. I was grateful for my workouts at the gym, that I have the strength and the know how. I thought on posture – hip hinge and squat, no bending over. I did pretty well though I worked up a sweat. Most things are put away though a few are still looking for a home. They might as well hang out until I reorganize and clean out some cupboard space. No point in stuffing them in wherever and then having to pull everything out again.

I am pretty pleased with myself for accomplishing this shopping trip today. I did not skip out on my afternoon walk even though the weather was grey and breezy. I brought out my toque and away I went. The fresh air and steps will help me get a good night’s sleep. Now it is almost 6 pm and it is quite dark already and raining a little. I have long complained about the darkness beginning at this time of the year. But I am noticing that it no longer bothers me as much or in the same way. I am learning to embrace, celebrate and use this time to rest and rejuvenate so that I am ready for the spring and the growing season.

REST, RECOVER & SUMMING UP

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I took a little leave of absence to rest up. It felt so good that I took a little longer to come back. My battery can only go so far. Then I have to recharge. I’m back to sum up for the last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. This last week of October has been beautiful. I took time to appreciate the sunshine and warm temperatures by a daily walk after lunch. It’s a wonderful way to chase away the after dinner sag and spend time with myself. It is relaxing and restful while I am getting exercised as well. I am making a few killings with one stone.

That’s the thing. Sometimes by changing my pace and schedule of doing, I am easing my pressure I put upon myself of doing, of having to, of musts. I am still keeping up on my list of things – giving gratitude, doing a few items of the 21 tiny habits, practicing piano….I did skip writing a post for the last 2 days. Sometimes I have to take off a thing or two instead of add on. It’s called the real life of not able to do everything. But I did make the ackee & salted fish rice on Saturday. It wasn’t as spicy as I would like it but it was still delicious. When it comes to cooking and most things, there really is no failing. The outcome is just different. Even when I kill the dough in bread making and it doesn’t rise, I can make flat bread or pizza crust with it. It can still be delicious. You don’t have to be brave to try something new. Just try and see what results from your effort.

I missed a few days in this writing challenge. I’m ok with it. I don’t consider it a failure. I did the best I can. Some days it does take considerable psychological energy to put thoughts into words onto the page. I had to decide where it is most wise to put my energy. I’m really admire those who can show up every day with their post and then offering kind comments on others, too. It all takes time and energy. But it is also community building. I appreciate that very much. And I so much appreciate Paul Taubman, our digital maestro for leading us each and every day.

One new thing I learned this time was Tarot cards. Oh, I have heard of them before but that was all. I was rather dismissive of them really but someone’s post caught my interest. I said why not and took the auther’s advice. I bought a book and a deck of cards she had recommended. I am fascinated with the history and the cards as an art. Who knew, eh? I’m glad I took the plunge. Yes, I will return for the January challenge. The discipline of showing up every day and writing the best as I can is very helpful for my brain and mental health. There was no hassle, not when I focus on just what I am doing.