POSSIBLES

Posted on November 2, 2013 by hafong

Do you know that anything and everything is possible, especially in Canada. Just look at what is happening in our Senate now – Mike Duffy and Pamela Wallin- accused of inappropriate travel claims. And look at how our prime minister is responding, on the defensive. What about Toronto’s mayor, Rob Ford, accused of smoking crack cocaine. Wow! Who can say Canadian politics is boring?

And if I’m not a little inebriated, I would be weeping at this state of affairs in our country, in the world. What is wrong with these people? What is wrong with all of us? Why do things good and moral not matter any more? Why is money and power so enticing? WHY?

I am trying to keep a perspective on things. I know it is important which side of the picture you are looking at. But there are times when sides don’t matter. There are times, no matter where you are coming from or at, it is always wrong, or always right. I know I will feel better in the morning. I will see in a different light.

Still, I should not despair. There are things to rejoice and celebrate. I am alive and healthy. I have baked three loaves of awesome bread and 15 yummy cinnamon buns. I have washed, scrubbed and swept. I have exercised and walked Sheba. And I have written 1100 words on my novel. I am doing all right.

GETTING REAL AND SERIOUS

Posted on October 31, 2013 by hafong

Can one possibly get real on Halloween night with little ghosts, goblins and little princesses knocking on your door and yelling, Trick or treat! ?

It is October 31, the eve of NaNoWriMo. My pencil is honed. I am ready to write. In fact, I do have a title for my novel, a somewhat plot and an introduction. I wonder if I have done too much and have already disqualified myself from the contest. No matter. I am serious and I am going to write my novel, one page at a time.

To be real and serious, can one write a book in a month? I am already losing sleep and energy with the pressure of writing 50,000 words in a month. My brain is blank, my creative juices frozen and my words are nowhere in sight. How can I write a book under these conditions? I feel like I am lined up with my laptop along with a kazillion other writers at the starting line. We are all waiting for someone to fire the gun. GET READY, SET, BAM!

This part is no longer fun for me, I’m sorry to say, NaNoWriMo. But I am grateful to you for perking my interest and getting me started. Now, I need to get real and serious and write. I will write every day in November – and beyond as much as I can. But I cannot go at it at a gallop. Sometimes I have to let things simmer and percolate. I have to let the child in me dream up dragons and such. I have to let the stories in me come out a page at a time.

It might as well be a fantastic book that someone will want to read, even if it’s a friend or relative.

GATHERING MY CHI

Posted on October 29, 2013 by hafong

The stage is set. I have a title for the novel. There is a plot and a cover. I have drank enough coffee and I have lost sufficient sleep the last two nights, wrestling with the project. And my desk is certainly messy enough to start the creative juices flowing. That is what you get when you sign up for the project with just a week to go. Now is the time to let go of the doubts and researches on how to write a novel. I just have to write.

The other day I took out Alex Quick”s 102 Ways to Write a Novel. The cover said that it has indispensable tips for the writer of fiction. It defined a novel as fiction having at least 50, 000 words. Otherwise it would be a novella. Well, I haven’t even ever done a novella either. It also said that writing a novel could be an arduous task – taking months, years and even DECADES to complete!

WOW! Not very encouraging words. So, I’m going to have to leave conventional wisdom behind and charge forward. How else can I write a novel otherwise? A novel by definition is fiction. Fiction is not truth. Hence a novel is a bunch of lies strung together.

How hard could that be? Well, it could be very hard for me. I’m like George Washington. I can’t tell a lie. I have my work cut out for me. I am thinking with three days remaining before the kickoff for NaNoWriMo, I better clear my energy field in my work space.

I went to my special place in my mind. I opened my heart space. I breathed stagnant chi out. I opened my arms to embrace my heavenly creative chi. November Novel Writing Month, here I come! I wonder if my nose will be like Pinocchio’s at the end of November. I sure hope so.

CHALLENGES AND CHALLENGES

Posted on October 26, 2013 by hafong

I register for the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge yesterday. I’m one of those wannabe writer who thinks she has a story to tell, but just waiting for the right time to do it. It’s been years, since high school, that I’ve had this calling. The right moment has not come and there is no book. But now, the time has come – to do, to write. No more just talking.

I read the fine print, accepted the terms and policies and created my account and profile. I was pumped up. I was up to the challenge of 50,000 words in November. …. a little over 1,ooo words a day. I had a title, sort of a plot, and maybe even a cover. Then I read somewhere that it has to be fiction.

Fiction! That gave me cause to pause. Wait a minute!

Though I am an a voracious reader of fiction, I’ve never thought of writing fiction, never told a story, never even had a fantasy. I have never daydreamed about a perfect wedding, the white picket fence, children, etc. It’s no wonder that I have none of those things!

But now is the time, like the walrus says (from Through the Looking Glass): ‘To talk of many things: Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax — Of cabbages — and kings —And why the sea is boiling hot —And whether pigs have wings.’

And why not talk of cabbages and kings, whether pigs have wings and other fanciful things? Why not wish upon a star and ask for the moon? Why not dream a little and dare a lot? Why ask for a small thing and not the whole shabam? Just think, I could have had a tea party like Alice in Wonderland instead of shared Retirement/Farewell party between 4-5 people. Where is my pride and sense of worth?

Wait, it is not too late! There’s still time. I can still do many things. I can write about cabbages and kings and whether pigs have wings. If Mary McPhee can write books and blogs at 87 from her retirement home, there is a lot of hope for me yet.

I just did the math of 50,000 words in 30 days. It equals something like 1700 words a day. No matter. I will still give it a good go. I will do my personal best. I have a week to relax into it. I will call forth all the creative forces within me. I can do it! Or die trying. 🙂

WHEN I CAN’T SLEEP

Posted on September 27, 2013 by hafong

I hate those nights when I can’t sleep. Though you try not to stress it, that’s where you end up anyways. How else could you not be, without sleep?

I find myself here again, tonight, sipping tea and tapping at my keyboard. Sheba is asleep, curled in her bed, beside me. How I envy her. But I will not dwell on that or on frustration. Instead, I will pause my thinking. I close my eyes and listen to the quiet.

I can rest, if not sleep in the quiet. I can breathe into the spaciousness of the night. I can release all my worries, angst and judgements. I can let go of the past and dreams of the future. I can just be here now, in the night, tapping out my words….with no stress or need to be profound.

WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

Posted on September 13, 2013 by hafong

Autumn has come. It is in the late rising sun, the cool crisp mornings, the golden falling leaves. I feel it in the ache of my bones. But I am finally here, tap, tapping at my keyboard. It has been a long time since I’ve felt the rhythm returning to my fingers.

It hasn’t been easy, this waiting. It has been full of un- ease and dis-ease. Nothing stops except the flow of my words. Life goes on, as the cliche goes. But in the process, I have seen and learned the bare bones of life, of what is of the utmost importance. It is not the money. It is not the job. It is not what people’s opinion of me. It’s none of those things and yet I cannot articulate it in written words. Yet I know and feel it in my marrow.

Perhaps it is this very moment that I’ve been waiting for, this moment of clarity. I have been waiting for myself, to steal the words from Alice Walker, who wrote We Are the Ones We’ve Been Waiting For. It is a book everyone should read. Forever and a day, I have not thought of myself mattering. Forever and a day, my identity is as a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a nurse, and no more.

The waiting is over. I have arrived unto myself. And it is good. It is worth it. I am worth it.

HOT SUMMER DAYS

Posted on July 2, 2013 by hafong

It’s not even 7 am yet. The sun is out and it is already hot and humid. I have already been awake since 4:30. Too early to get out of bed. Sheba is stretched out on the cool wooden floor at the foot of the bed. She is stretching her boundaries.

At 6:00 I decided it was a waste of time staying in bed. It would have been fine had I been content. But I was not. Such is life now and again. Everything changes and this, too, shall pass. So for now, I will stay and embrace it. I can still tap out my words and feelings. Perhaps I can free myself.

I padded out to the kitchen. I hear Sheba retching and soon out came her breakfast, eaten in too big of a haste. What a mess! But she is lapping it all up again. I turn my back and let her do her thing. Sometimes you just have to. Life can get like that. I wipe the floor with damp paper towels.

I am tapping out my words on the deck. The birds are chirping. A crow cawed. Sheba is at my feet listening. The words are coming from my fingertips. What a blessing! What a relief! I can still make life work. I try not to think too much. I just try to move.

Yesterday we went for a long bike ride. I pedaled with my heart in my mouth. I pedaled with heart and metal. I pedaled with success. We celebrated with coffee at the Broadway Roastery.

There was not enough tables with umbrellas. We would sizzle under the hot sun. So we moved Rod’s cargo bike under the shade of the trees and used it as a bench. It was a lovely way of enjoying our coffee and watching the people come and go. But I do think he need to add some pop up trays for our coffee.

So you can see that even not so great days are in reality great days. It is in our minds and hearts to decide what they can be. I try my best and that is all that I can do. It is enough.

ON REACHING A HUNDRED

Posted on April 14, 2013 by hafong

I have reached a hundred the other day, a hundred posts that is! It is a big success for me. I have to reward myself and pat myself on the back.

I am tap, tapping at my keyboard. I love the rhythm of my fingers on the keys. I love the words that come out. I am writing because I love the beauty of words and ideas that flow from my finger tips. I don’t know from where they come but I welcome them.

If perchance you read some of my words, do not stress or worry if I sound melancholy or in trouble. My work environment can be very toxic and sometimes I can’t help but take some of the fumes in. And life can be ever so taxing. Tapping out words is my way of breathing and releasing the poison out. It is how I heal myself so that I can work and live again.

Words are my best friend. They hold me close with their warmth. They help me see with their clarity and they calm me down with their truth. I honour them by putting them in print. I do hope that you will stop by often and read them. I love sharing what I have learned by putting words and pictures together.

WHAT WORKS, WHAT DOESN’T

Posted on September 12, 2012 by hafong

Breakfast is done, the dishes are in the dishwasher, the floor is swept and I am before my keyboard. My heart is pounding a little. I am taking some deep breaths to slow down. But it is all good. This works for me.

I am, by nature, a dawdler, very slow coming out of the gates. I could dawdle, drink tea and coffee, daydream and not get a single thing done all day. It is not a bad thing. But daydreams are not the stuff of real satisfaction. They do not fill your pocketbook, put dinner on the table or rid the cobwebs in the corners of your house. They do add cobwebs to my mind, slowing it down even more.

I have to do different. I don’t want to be stuck in ways that don’t work. I do not want to be a prisoner of bad habits. I am a slow learner. But now, I GIVE HER. Right after breakfast, I move fast and steady. I do not obsess. My mop goes over a spot once. Done! My dust rag over an area once. Another done. I am cleaning like a MOTHER FUCKER. Swish, swish, swish! Please excuse the language.

I adopted the term from Cheryl Strayed. She wrote a book called WILD. She used the term with reference to her writing….from the heart. I would like to write like that, but we all have our own styles. I write like Tinkerbell. I hope that I have a bit of fairy dust with my words. It works for me. I see myself in my words. I see my actions. I see my mistakes. I learn from my words. I tap away the shadows and cobwebs in my mind.

Now I need to MOVE on with the day!

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

Tag Archives: words