WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

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Autumn has come.  It is in the late rising sun, the cool crisp mornings, the golden falling leaves.  I feel it in the ache of my bones.  But I am finally here, tap, tapping at my keyboard.  It has been a long time since I’ve felt the rhythm returning to my fingers.

It hasn’t been easy, this waiting.  It has been full of un- ease and dis-ease.  Nothing stops except the flow of my words.  Life goes on, as the cliche goes.   But in the process, I have seen and learned the bare bones of life, of what is of the utmost importance.  It is not the money.  It is not the job.  It is not what people’s opinion of me.  It’s none of those things and yet I cannot articulate it in written words.  Yet I know and feel it in my marrow.

Perhaps it is this very moment that I’ve been waiting for, this moment of clarity.  I have been waiting for myself, to steal the words from Alice Walker, who wrote We Are the Ones We’ve Been Waiting For.  It is a book everyone should read.  Forever and a day, I have not thought of myself mattering.  Forever and a day, my identity is as a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a nurse, and no more.

The waiting is over.  I have arrived unto myself.  And it is good.  It is worth it.  I am worth it.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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