POETRY IN MOTION

Once again poetry is helping me move through my words and day. Thank you to Laurie Powers for her 27 Wild Days. Today she reads Jane Hirshfield’s poem, Today When I Could Do Nothing. I’ve had too many of those days when I could not galvanize myself out of my lethargy.

Her words motivated me to try to do at least one small thing. I pushed myself out of my comfortable chair and into the dining room. I had to start somewhere. The table with many things on it was too big a challenge. My eyes glazed over and my head hurt at the sight. Somehow dusting the top of the china cabinet was ok.  I had to clear and dust the objects on top of it first. Funny how my mind and brain work. I will not try to figure it out. It is not essential. Go with the flow.

Even though I felt like mush today, I dusted the top of my china cabinet. With the excitement that I could move, I pushed a damp mop over the floor while the guy cooked breakfast. I was surprised that I finished doing all the floor after breakfast. Having warmed up, I did 5 rounds of hula hooping. My best round was almost 80 revolutions nonstop. I’m quite proud I was able to do all that and a little more. Now I’m telling you about it even though I felt like a wet noodle today.

I can’t wait to hear a new poem tomorrow.

Today, when I could do nothing,
I saved an ant.

It must have come in with the morning paper,
still being delivered
to those who shelter in place.

A morning paper is still an essential service.

I am not an essential service.

I have coffee and books,
time,
a garden,
silence enough to fill cisterns.

It must have first walked
the morning paper, as if loosened ink
taking the shape of an ant.

Then across the laptop computer—warm—
then onto the back of a cushion.

Small black ant, alone,
crossing a navy cushion,
moving steadily because that is what it could do.

Set outside in the sun,
it could not have found again its nest.
What then did I save?

It did not move as if it was frightened,
even while walking my hand,
which moved it through swiftness and air.

Ant, alone, without companions,
whose ant-heart I could not fathom—
how is your life, I wanted to ask.

I lifted it, took it outside.

This first day when I could do nothing,
contribute nothing
beyond staying distant from my own kind,
I did this.  – Jane Hirshfield

 

YESTERDAY’S TOMORROW IS TODAY

It’s not true that tomorrow never comes. It has. It is today. I am proud to say that I’ve pulled myself up by the bootstraps. I live in the moment each moment – for the morning at least. I had wondered how I was going to get my head out of the clouds into clear sailing. I could not give into my natural state of “I’ll do it tomorrow”. Too many tomorrows have passed. I’ve wound up like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, waking up to the same tune, day after day. I’m sick of it.

I am the most energized, optimistic and happy in the morning. That being, it would be the best time to tackle what I deemed difficult and unpleasant tasks like bills and other paper crap. I dragged out my container and bag full of receipts. I circled the dates on each one, the easier to match my monthly Master Card statements. It seems like an arduous task but I did finished 7 statements. Of course, there’s a good possibility of more receipts showing up. I do not have the habit of keeping things in one place – yet. And I’ve started a notebook to jot down things I need to do and dates to keep track of. I have 3 items on it.

I decided that was enough for today. Trying to straighten out everything in one day would invite disaster. I’m keeping in mind to find logical homes for things so that I’m not forever taking the house apart searching. It is now time to give things a rest. It is now 5:35 pm. Time to let go, relax and have a glass of wine. There’s a time for everything.

TODAY in a year of ….

Day 30, August 21, 2016 @8:54

TODAY, showing up is a little hard to do. If I was to give in to my inclination, I could easily just vegetate on the couch. But today is the moment. It is the only moment. I’m here, singing John Denver’s song:

imageToday, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
‘Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

Songs can say so much and better than I can, easpecially when I am tired. Thought and ideas have fled but at least I am here in this moment. And being HERE, NOW is the important thing. So often I’m absent from the moment, reliving the past and worrying about the future. Today, trying to stay in the present is my doing different. I will forget from time to time. That is the nature of being human.  But I can bring myself back again and again.

It is late. I bid you a good night. Till tomorrow.

TODAY

It’s funny how ideas and other things come into your mind sometimes.  Out of nowhere, it seems.  How do they come, I wonder.  How are they transported and what are they made of?  Are they streams of energy or are they what is called will o’ the wisps?

And so it was the lyrics of a song from yesteryear popped into my head.  It was John Denver’s Today.  Back then I didn’t know he wrote it.  I thought it was an old traditional.  I have always loved the melody and lyrics.  I sang it in the tub last evening and I sang it when I woke up this morning.

They’re wonderful, beautiful words to live by – today.  It’s right here and now.  I can taste the strawberries and the wine.

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
‘Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

I’ll be a dandy, and I’ll be a rover
You’ll know who I am by the songs that I sing
I’ll feast at your table, I’ll sleep in your clover
Who cares what the morrow shall bring

I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory
I can’t live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing