Tag Archives: September

Writing Makes Everything Better

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Four days in, September has not been warm and fuzzy, the kind of autumn days we dream of. It’s cool and windy. Strains of Nat King Cole’s Chestnuts roasting on an open fire are playing in my mind. I am feeling slow and sluggish, wondering how to get myself back in motion. I stopped going to the gym awhile back. I didn’t realize that routine of getting out of the house bright and early was so motivating and energizing. Starting over is hard to do. Even though I’ve started back, my heart isn’t in it. I have to work at it.

I guess the lesson is not to completely stop the good things. Instead I can scale back, take a short rest and hop back on again. When the desire and inspiration are not there, I will have to do the hard work. And it is hard. Giving in to languishing and curling up with a blanket looks very attractive right now. But I know that will not get me out of this ‘everything is hard’ hole. I will buckle up and suck it up.

It helps to have this writing space. It helps to lay everything out on the page. I can then see the wherefores and whys of some of the things. I think that is why I love crossword puzzles and Wordle. Writing helps me solve problems. It stop thoughts whirling endlessly in my head. It stops me from berating myself and making myself feel bad. Writing is my therapist without a hefty fee. And I don’t have to wait for an appointment. I have to love all that.

SEPTEMBER

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The first day of September. It’s not evoking the feeling of starting anew like it has in the past. I guess I’m long past the time of the first days of school. No excitement of seeing friends I haven’t seen over the summer. No excitement of the first year on the university campus, finding my way to the Arts, Chemistry, Biology and other Buildings, then the lecture rooms. Now, I don’t feel the excitement of the first day of anything. It’s no way to start a day.

So, I am thinking up of ways of remedying it, cheering myself up and along. I put in a clean pair of socks in my gym bag. Beyond that I couldn’t think of anything else. I did have a good workout at the gym. I used heavier weights doing the farmer’s carry and was pleasantly surprised to find that the heavier weights felt better. Now at day’s end, I am feeling irritable but containing it, not letting it spill out. I think that it is good enough. I will not try to cheer myself up or along. Sometimes you just have to let everything go. Not try so hard but just let it be.

The day has been hot and heavy. The air is smoky from wildfires, making opened windows not a good idea. The furnace fan is adequate for some air movement, calming my bad mood. Nothing is pleasing me at this moment. It doesn’t make staying in the now a good idea. I shall move on and put a few things away. Tomorrow is another day.

COME SEPTEMBER

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healingSeptember is here.  I have signed up for the NaBloPoMo again, only to find my words have disappeared.  I am restless, fussing turning and bothering people in general.  I am distressed and lost in my desert without an idea or words.  How am I going to write about healing?  It is such a good theme.  What a time to get the stutters!

 

IMG_1282I fret, pace, wring my hands.  I sigh, huff and puff to no avail. I take to the garden, wandering here, there – pulling weeds and looking at the summer’s effort.  You can certainly say the tomato beds have ran away on me.  The plants are toppling over and strangling each other with the weight of the fruits and foliage.  More is not always better. Live and learn.  There’s always next year.

It is now getting late in the evening.  I am not any less fretful.  The words are not coming any easier.  They do not fall from my fingertips like water from a leaky tap.  Music jangles my nerves.  Talk does not help. Perhaps a cup of tea.

Do you have days/nights like this?  Experience has taught me not to fuss too much, as if I can help that.  It’s best to stay put and ride out the waves. Don’t go on a serious shopping trip.  Don’t get your hair cut. Don’t bother calling anyone.  Usually they are not home. Even if they are, the conversation leaves you feeling worse than before. I try to stay off the bicycle, too. I have fear of falling.

IMG_1267My cup of Chai is working its magic. I feel a slight ease in my chest. My fingers are losing their stutter across the keyboard. Breathe! I tell myself. Relax those shoulders. Unfurl the eyebrows. Move those fingers across the keyboard. Forget about profundity. Just get the words out. Do not worry about grammar and tenses. The night is not young. You can do better tomorrow. You have done your best today. It is enough.

 

 

 

 

COME SEPTEMBER

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Come September the mornings are a little cooler.   The air is a little crisper and sharper.  There’s a hint of anticipation in the air.  The birds are circling and singing in the yard.  Joy is all around.

The leaves are still ever green and the days are warm and golden.  Here and there there are hints of the gold and orange to come but for now, we can enjoy summer days.  We can wander down the path to the river, run on beach, sit on a rock and dangle our feet above the waters.  We can run and splash our feet in the river and fetch sticks to our hearts’ content.  Come and join us if you will.