COME SEPTEMBER

healingSeptember is here.  I have signed up for the NaBloPoMo again, only to find my words have disappeared.  I am restless, fussing turning and bothering people in general.  I am distressed and lost in my desert without an idea or words.  How am I going to write about healing?  It is such a good theme.  What a time to get the stutters!

 

IMG_1282I fret, pace, wring my hands.  I sigh, huff and puff to no avail. I take to the garden, wandering here, there – pulling weeds and looking at the summer’s effort.  You can certainly say the tomato beds have ran away on me.  The plants are toppling over and strangling each other with the weight of the fruits and foliage.  More is not always better. Live and learn.  There’s always next year.

It is now getting late in the evening.  I am not any less fretful.  The words are not coming any easier.  They do not fall from my fingertips like water from a leaky tap.  Music jangles my nerves.  Talk does not help. Perhaps a cup of tea.

Do you have days/nights like this?  Experience has taught me not to fuss too much, as if I can help that.  It’s best to stay put and ride out the waves. Don’t go on a serious shopping trip.  Don’t get your hair cut. Don’t bother calling anyone.  Usually they are not home. Even if they are, the conversation leaves you feeling worse than before. I try to stay off the bicycle, too. I have fear of falling.

IMG_1267My cup of Chai is working its magic. I feel a slight ease in my chest. My fingers are losing their stutter across the keyboard. Breathe! I tell myself. Relax those shoulders. Unfurl the eyebrows. Move those fingers across the keyboard. Forget about profundity. Just get the words out. Do not worry about grammar and tenses. The night is not young. You can do better tomorrow. You have done your best today. It is enough.

 

 

 

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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2 Responses to COME SEPTEMBER

  1. I do have days like this, Lily and I’ve learned to accept them as part of myself. And yes, chai helps! 🙂

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