Tag Archives: reward

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IMPORTANT

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I’ve been struggling with a little bad attitude and moods lately. It does not make me feel good about myself. At the same time, they are what I’m feeling. I cannot just squash them, wipe them out. I had to let them do their mischief within me. Otherwise, I would be saying that I do not matter. I am of no importance. It was difficult but I withheld harsh criticism of myself. The bad vibes passed along with the attitude. No CBD oil was necessary today.

The fine weather brought out my sunnier side. I’m a happier camper. But I cannot deny that the season and days are changing. My body is telling me so. I’m waking up at 2 am almost every night as if I’ve set the alarm. The good thing is I’ve been able to get back to sleep after a trip to the bathroom. I’m still getting at least 7 hours of sleep. My exercise class helps along with coffee with the girls after. Today’s sun helped tremendously. It gave me a burst of energy. It was no problem to dash off to the community garden to do a harvest after lunch. I was rewarded with 2 pails of food I grew from the good earth.

PAYING FOR CHANGE- Day 68 in a year of..

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Day 68, September 28, 2016 @9:08

img_7821The days are ticking off, ever so slowly when you are conscious and counting. Doing different is difficult.  I am so wired in to my feelings and reactions. Moving out of my grooves and ruts takes more than minutes, hours, days, weeks and months.  I have to be patient.  I have to be innovative.  I have to be kind to myself.  No snapping of elastic band on my wrist.  I have to be trained like Sheba – on a reward system.  A Loonie(a dollar) into the teapot for each day completed with a blog post.  I’m worth that.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling to commit, to put it in writing.  I want to get up and make myself a cup of tea. But I won’t. I will sit and stay here with the discomfort. I will sit and finish even though my head is screaming for tea.  At least I’m not screaming for a cigarette as in the past.  That is proof that I can and have changed.

img_7802Another gorgeous day.  I am sitting in my beautiful space surrounded by light. It’s the light I must follow though our shadows are ever present.  I will choose the high ways whenever I am able to.  But I must accept the dark places and not punish and blame myself or others for falling.  I can always get up and dust myself off – again.

Have you fallen?  Did you hurt yourself?  Did you get up?

DELAYED GRATIFICATION – Day 34 in a year of…

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Day 34, August 25, 2016 @7:17 pm

I despair for words each day when I arrive.  What I need to change is my mindset and my timing.  Would I have more to say in the morning before I live the day?  My inkwell seems dry now, tired that I am.  It is a good thing I set my intention in the morning.  At least I have something to go back on.

IMG_7385I am a terrible procrastinator.  I don’t get a lot done because I delay and postpone everything by having a cup of tea/read a chapter/rest/anything else first.  Then I would tackle the task for a little while and repeat the tea, read, etc. My different today was to cut out all the delaying crap.  I got to the heart of the issue – tasks first, then reward.

I completed all my tasks.  The vacuuming was tough.  It seemed to go on and on.  Dog hair everywhere – under the bed, behind furniture, corners and closets.  Ugh!  I will be deliriously happy when shedding season is over in a month or two.  The reward was the floor felt so clean after.  Well worth the effort.

IMG_7387I was surprised by pleasure in hanging the laundry out in sunshine amid my tomatoes. I felt this smile filling me up from the inside as I hung each article.  Pretty silly, right?  It felt so delicious standing and hanging each wet article to be kissed dry by the sun.  I stored the feeling and memory in my body and mind.  I will call upon it to help me the next time inertia hits me.

That was the morning.  Then there was lunch to be made and dishes to do after.  I almost buckle after that.  But I called upon that sunshiny laundry feeling to help me out.  It gave me a little more energy to return overdue books at the library.  After that, Sheba got a reward to the dog park.  It was one for me too.  How do you reward yourself?

Till tomorrow.

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