IMG_6680Mmmm! So delicious, the first sip of sweet and spicy Chai.  The morning is grey and wet – misty rain falling down.  The forecast calls for ice pellets later on.

Nice I had sunny yesterday to reflect on.  I haven’t felt so well, so myself in a long time.  It was as if I had been possessed by forces far greater than I can fight off.  I was bewitched and bedevilled.  Go ahead.  You can laugh and roll your eyes.  I felt what I felt.

IMG_3643Yesterday, I felt free, the weight lifted off me.  I smiled and grinned like a Cheshire Cat, basking in sunshine.  I felt the meanness leaving my bodily.  I tasted the nastiness as it made its exit.  I bade it a cheerful farewell.  And don’t you come back no more, no more, I sang.

I know that is wishful thinking.  I know it will visit again.  Next time I will be stronger. It will not gain an easy entry.

I should not speak so hastily.  Certainly it is not wise to read about politics and the mayoral campaign in Toronto.  I’m feeling incensed and anger is bubbling up my throat. How can I not, watching candidate, Olivia Chow questioned about her suitability because of immigrant background?  Judge for yourself if it doesn’t smack of prejudice of skin colour.  At another rally she is told to go back to China.

I’m feeling Olivia’s anger. I’m feeling our sisterhood.  I better be careful.  The witch and devil are already at my door with broom and pitch fork.  Hate and anger are not constructive.  They lead to more of the same.  They eat at your soul.  I better move on. Olivia, I am sure, is made of sterner stuff.  She has been in this game for some time.




Photo on 2014-07-21 at 2.29 PMYesterday, I discovered exercise was the best medicine for my nervous jumping heart.  I was grateful for the loud music next door that pushed me onto my bike.  It was nice my SO (Significant Other) accompanied me.  We headed off to the library.

I kept my nervousness to myself.  No point voicing it, giving it strength.  I inhaled and exhaled.  I pedalled, pumping my legs up and down.  I saw them as pistons firing smoothly, moving the blood through my heart chambers, then out to the rest of my body.  I was safe.

We are at the library.  I find 2 books by my favourite kick-ass author, Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen and Smokin’ Seventeen.  The titles alone give off more energy than spinach.  Look out, Popeye!  Wait, I’m not done yet.  Here is Olivia Chow’s memoir, My Journey waiting for me.  I hope she will win the mayorship of Toronto.  That Rob Ford need to be ousted.  You must know who he is.  He has been talked about on all the late shows in the U.S.A. – Kimmel, Letterman, Jon Stewart….

I found Amy Tan’s The Valley of Amazement in the next aisle.  I discovered her through the movie, The Joy Luck Club.  Reading her memoir, The Opposite of Fate, was like finding myself.  I recognized myself in her, my mother in her mother Daisy.  The lives of Chinese immigrants in America had the same familiar ringtone – even Olivia Chow’s.  I felt that Amy and Olivia were like my sisters.

I found one more book I could not resist – Byron Katie’s I Need Your Love – Is That True? I know, I know.  I wasn’t going to read any more self-help books for awhile but who could resist a topic like love.  And she asked a good question, Is it true?

photo curtesy of Rod McLaren
photo curtesy of Rod McLaren

Now I am done.  We load my treasures in my SO’s cargo bike and head for home.  I am relaxed, breathing in and out, pedalling easy and steady, not rushing, not worrying, not anxious.  My heart is in its place.  It’s pumping rhythmically in even strokes.  It’s singing that everything is fine.  And it is true.