Amy Tan

I WILL TARRY NO MORE

I love lunches that require no dishwashing. Who wouldn’t? I’m still in my lazy, relaxed mode but I’m moving as required. Stagnacy gathers dust and mold. Let me rest and tap here for a bit. Then I will descend the stairs and wash another window and another set of blinds. I said I will seed more kohlrabi and I will. After that, it’ll be time to walk the dog. I’ve discovered that things do not take as much time when I am “in the flow”.

I take care not to linger too long with any one thing, place or mood. In other words, balance in all things. There are so many truths in those proverbs and adages:

  • A change is as good as a rest
  • A good beginning makes a good ending
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
  • Actions speak louder than words

These are a few of my favourite. If I practice them every day, I could go far. Perhaps it would be a good idea to pick a few each day and work on them. It would create some fun and maybe a new way of thinking and problem solving. It would be a change.

The wind is howling outside. It makes me think of W.O. Mitchell’s Who Has Seen the Wind. It’s about a boy growing up in Saskatchewan during the Great Depression. I have seen the movie but not read the book. I have to add it to my reading list. After all, Mitchell is Saskatchewan’s own. The book sold almost a million copies and was made into a movie. What other incentive would I need?

An interesting blog I’ve recently stumbled onto is Julie Yip Williams‘ cancer fighting journey. She lost her fight in March, 2018. Her writing is beautiful and honest. What drew me was her cancer journey and that she is Chinese. Well, all of her life is interesting and inspiring. She was born in Vietnam and immigrated to the U.S. It is the same interest I have in Amy Tan. In both I found the common denominator of a Chinese in America and our relationship to our parents. Julie writies of Filial Love in 2 parts. The link for part 1 will lead to part 2, if you are interested.

Now, I have to tarry here no more. There are other things calling and I have to abide.

HOW TO BE HAPPIER

Today I’m tempted to throw up my hands and cry, For what purpose am I doing this? THIS meaning the tap tap of my keyboard. Sometimes I seem to go on and on about the same thing. Worse yet, they seem to be about nothing. Then I read Amy Tan’s post on FB on how to be happier in these trying times. Well, I do have a pet – Sheba. She’s just started up her usual antics now,  barking up a fit.  I see that her water bowl is empty. She has good reason to bark. Sorry Sheba. My fault this time.

Having Sheba/a pet is a life enhancer even though she is a ton of work. She gets me out the door on walks no matter rain or shine. She has taught me to look up and see the blue sky of a sunny day, the soft pinks of a December sunset. She has shown me it can be fun teaching and learning obedience and tricks. She’s given me structure to the day. She has a built in alarm clock.  She is pretty accurate most of the time. But she is not always a reliable security guard. We have been robbed. She was sleeping on the job.

What Amy suggest if you can’t keep a pet, is to take up bird watching. She suggests to learn more about them by encouraging them to come into your yard with bird food. She sketches them, too. I think I will stick to tapping on my keyboard for now. It does make me happier to give voice to the angst – all my negativity and sarcasm. They do tend to fester inside, rolling over and over in the canyons of my mind. Ha! Music is playing in my head again. I’m stealing phrase(s) from Bob Lind’s Elusive Butterfly. It’s a great song. Beautiful lyrics. Don’t you agree? But I really should acquire a more recent playlist for my head.

I’m have to rethink about being ‘happier’. What does happy feel like anyways? I’m more aware of when I’m not. My whole body reacts, screaming, We’re not copacetic. Get us out of here! Everything, all of me retreats, withdraws, shrinking inside, hiding where it is safe. So ‘happier’ for me is to make my body feel good. Sometimes I need some spiritual guidance to help me out. That sometimes is now. That guidance source is from Caroline Myss. I need her ‘put your head in the toilet’ no-nonsense approach. We are so fortunate to be in this energy age. I can access help with a tap of the keyboard – the Internet coming to rescue my InnerNet.

It is good to hear Caroline talk about our present time being special, extraordinary. The stories and myths of yesterday no longer work. That’s exactly how I am feeling – that my stories/myths are passé. They no longer work for me. I have to change my stories, my voice, my vision. I am not the center of the Universe. I’m listening to her voice telling me to humble up, that I am not special. Yes, put my head in the toilet for 7 minutes and reboot my life. Got it, Caroline! Thanks for the cold water.

Oh, I do feel happier now. My body is laughing.

IS IT TRUE?

Photo on 2014-07-21 at 2.29 PMYesterday, I discovered exercise was the best medicine for my nervous jumping heart.  I was grateful for the loud music next door that pushed me onto my bike.  It was nice my SO (Significant Other) accompanied me.  We headed off to the library.

I kept my nervousness to myself.  No point voicing it, giving it strength.  I inhaled and exhaled.  I pedalled, pumping my legs up and down.  I saw them as pistons firing smoothly, moving the blood through my heart chambers, then out to the rest of my body.  I was safe.

We are at the library.  I find 2 books by my favourite kick-ass author, Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen and Smokin’ Seventeen.  The titles alone give off more energy than spinach.  Look out, Popeye!  Wait, I’m not done yet.  Here is Olivia Chow’s memoir, My Journey waiting for me.  I hope she will win the mayorship of Toronto.  That Rob Ford need to be ousted.  You must know who he is.  He has been talked about on all the late shows in the U.S.A. – Kimmel, Letterman, Jon Stewart….

I found Amy Tan’s The Valley of Amazement in the next aisle.  I discovered her through the movie, The Joy Luck Club.  Reading her memoir, The Opposite of Fate, was like finding myself.  I recognized myself in her, my mother in her mother Daisy.  The lives of Chinese immigrants in America had the same familiar ringtone – even Olivia Chow’s.  I felt that Amy and Olivia were like my sisters.

I found one more book I could not resist – Byron Katie’s I Need Your Love – Is That True? I know, I know.  I wasn’t going to read any more self-help books for awhile but who could resist a topic like love.  And she asked a good question, Is it true?

photo curtesy of Rod McLaren
photo curtesy of Rod McLaren

Now I am done.  We load my treasures in my SO’s cargo bike and head for home.  I am relaxed, breathing in and out, pedalling easy and steady, not rushing, not worrying, not anxious.  My heart is in its place.  It’s pumping rhythmically in even strokes.  It’s singing that everything is fine.  And it is true.