This little train doesn’t go far from home. I’m a bit of a homebody, enjoying the comfort and ease of not wandering afar. I do feel somewhat lacking when almost everybody wants to escape to somewhere else – Mexico, Cuba, Arizona, Kansas City. And here I am, feeling a bit amiss. I feel as if I should be somewhere else. Everywhere I go, I hear people talking of going south. In the locker room the other day, I heard women talking about air flights and rooms costing only $79 US/night. Should I be going somewhere, anywhere? I really should put those feelings to rest and be comfortable with where and who I am.
The fact is I like being home at my keyboard. I like tapping out my words and thoughts. I love curling up and reading a book. My Bernina sewing machine, my paints and easel and the fireplace have been calling me. If only I could make the time for them. The day goes by so quickly. I wonder why I worry so much about not going somewhere else. I love being home – baking bread, making kimchi, watching Sheba sleep. Why do I feel my life lacks compared to others? Why am I looking out instead of within?
My wheels are turning. I haven’t found all the answers yet but I have a better awareness of my behaviour and feelings. I have an inkling of my problem and what direction this train should be heading – and it’s toward more light heartedness. I can have fun. Here’s the proof, 39 seconds of hula hoop fun. My goal is 1 minute.