Day 195 – 197, February 8, 2017 @2:15 pm

I’m sitting in glorious sunshine in the warmth of my sunroom. An almost perfect afternoon. I’m loathe to move, to think – to do anything. But I must. Time will fly and soon the sun will be gone. I will be left with a feeling of wasted days and nights. You know how that melody goes. You must know that feeling, too.

That sun behind me is so inviting. I must go and make another cup of tea, sip it and enjoy the sun a little more. This pile of paper can wait for another few minutes. I can tap out a few thoughts waiting for the kettle to boil. How is the new year for you? I’m working out a few nettles. January was tough. But I’m a little stronger, having more reserve for February.

It’s easy to fall back into my old ruts. It’s comfortable to traverse the same old streets even though they are full of potholes. They are comfortable to fall into, knowing their darkness and depth. I’ve climbed out for this month, taking note again not to fall in. I’m trying out new thoughts and new feelings. I’ve been quite deliberate. Maybe I should make written instead of just mental notes of thought changes.

I’m back. Had my hit of sunshine. The sun is gone. I’m still sipping my tea. Now I better get down to business, pay bills and clear a few papers. I feel daunted but when haven’t I? There are so many other things I rather do but I’m learning discipline. A few pieces a day and I might surprise myself.