I CAN JUST SCREAM

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January 16. The Ultimate Blog Challenge.

I think I’m apt to scream soon. Another heavily foggy day with no end in sight. No, that’s not correct. There’s a bit of sun forecasted for Friday. Though I am out and about, the grey is making me restless and antsy. I wonder how it is affecting others. Perhaps I should have made 2 rounds on the ski trail this afternoon. It would have tired me to calmness. Tomorrow is another day – of more clouds. I will have plenty of practice dealing with greyness and restlessness. I can save the screaming, too, for another day. At least I am not depressed.

So what can I do instead? I was going to do some tidying and putting away but I felt more restless and irritable just looking at my mess of things. I cancelled that idea. I’m really not in the mood to write a post but here I am, tapping away on the keyboard. I’m not soothed yet. Maybe I need to slow down so it’s more rhythmic. I think I need to dim the lights a bit. The brightness is stimulating me too much. I can feel my heart rate in my fingertips. I wonder if the weather can change our chemistry. It sure affects me.

I can make a list of things to do for tomorrow.

  • Phone SaskEnergy for an appointment for them to come and change the meter.
  • Deposit the cheque from the government.
  • Renew my driver’s license.
  • Meet the girls for breakfast.
  • Ski.

I feel a little calmer having made the list. Supper is soon. I will have a small glass of wine. Yes, I do feel better. No screaming necessary. I will let all that extra energy flow out through my fingertips.

WHAT KEEPS ME UP AND GOING

What Keeps Me Up and Going

What do you do to keep your spirits up, to keep the ball rolling? I have today and tomorrow to finish the month of daily posting. I am pretty sure I can finish by gosh and darn. I hope to keep going beyond into December. It helps to have a place to come to at the end of the day to unload, de-stress, to pass on a bit of news, wisdom or joy. Writing and chronicling my day gives me a sense of purpose. It is hard to have a conversation without Covid-19 butting in. Such are our times. In Saskatchewan we have 351 new cases, 94 in Saskatoon. It’s hard not to feel the heaviness of these times.

I plod along, trying to do my daily best. It’s best to have a list of things I want to do each day. I make it before bedtime. I still keep it in my head. That’s on top of my list, to make a list each day. Today I got the laundry and some dusting done. Oh, my pork belly is cooking in the Instant Pot. We’ve had these packs of pork belly in our freezer from last year. And what does one do with it? It’s bacon except it’s not cured. It’s mostly fat. I seasoned it with garlic, ginger and soy sauce. Now it’s cooking on high for an hour. That should take care of the fat. They will make filling for Chinese steamed buns. It’s an experiment for tomorrow – maybe. Oh, my pork belly is done. Looking and tasting good. I hope I won’t nibble them all away before the buns get made.

I didn’t have a long list of to do’s. It’s good to start small. Less chance of failure. Wait! I got the bathroom floor cleaned, too. That’s my hardest to do. Strange why that is since there’s not much floor. Sometimes I have to question myself, to get to the root of why I hate doing something. I still don’t understand why but I got the job done. What’s on the list for tomorrow? I will do my seed order to beat the rush. That’s THE one thing I want to do. There are many things that NEED looking after. I will think of them later.

I like to have a project/skill to work on. That always keeps me going when the going gets tough. So far, I’ve mastered bread making, regular and sourdough from scratch, kimchi and kombucha. Making food from scratch is so satisfying. It just fills me up.

The latest thing that’s keeping me afloat is learning cross country skiing. I’m not gliding yet but I’m still keen. There’s alot more involved than meets the eye. Bending over to tie my boots is quite challenging in itself. I get out of huff just doing that! I’m learning to do put the boots on and tying them before putting my coat on. Less bulk to bend over with. Then there’s carrying the skis and poles while walking to the park. It’s only 2 long blocks away but it’s surprising how heavy things get when you’ve not used to carrying them. I’ve mastered that now, too. I even managed to fasten my boots to the bindings by myself today. I failed the getting up after I fall test. Still, I felt so much more relaxed after my fall. I think I should just fall down right off and get it out of the way so I can ski better. What do you think?