The first day of September. It’s not evoking the feeling of starting anew like it has in the past. I guess I’m long past the time of the first days of school. No excitement of seeing friends I haven’t seen over the summer. No excitement of the first year on the university campus, finding my way to the Arts, Chemistry, Biology and other Buildings, then the lecture rooms. Now, I don’t feel the excitement of the first day of anything. It’s no way to start a day.

So, I am thinking up of ways of remedying it, cheering myself up and along. I put in a clean pair of socks in my gym bag. Beyond that I couldn’t think of anything else. I did have a good workout at the gym. I used heavier weights doing the farmer’s carry and was pleasantly surprised to find that the heavier weights felt better. Now at day’s end, I am feeling irritable but containing it, not letting it spill out. I think that it is good enough. I will not try to cheer myself up or along. Sometimes you just have to let everything go. Not try so hard but just let it be.

The day has been hot and heavy. The air is smoky from wildfires, making opened windows not a good idea. The furnace fan is adequate for some air movement, calming my bad mood. Nothing is pleasing me at this moment. It doesn’t make staying in the now a good idea. I shall move on and put a few things away. Tomorrow is another day.