The Last of May

May 30th, the last day of the month. It’s another warm day though it is not quite as hot as the previous few days. There is a breeze and there are clouds. These days, I have to do my gardening in the morning or in the evening when the sun has gone down. Some days I’m working both ends of the day. Otherwise there will be no veggies or flowers. There’ll be nothing but weeds. For me that’s a sign of mental health problems. So I put on my big girl’s pants, pull up my socks and buckle up my shoes. I got out my trowel, pitch fork, hoe, whipper snipper and got to work.

First I finished planting the raised bed in the front. Half of it has been planted with kohlrabi and a couple of cucumbers. I finished filling it with celery. It is a good companion for the brassica family. A butternut squash filled in the emplty corner. I gave the whole bed a good watering. The grass has shot up in the heat. And those hateful creeping bellflowers are thriving in massive clumps all over the place. The new batteries for the whipper snipper are working great for whipping them and the grass down to the ground level. I was a sweaty mess at the end of it.

After a little rest and quenching my thirst, I packed my equipment in the car along with some bedding plants and headed over to my father’s. I was going to plant my mother’s front flower bed today, no matter what. It was not an easy task as they were really dry and overgrown with weeds. After some digging and hoeing and weeding, I planted some wave petunias and marigolds in one bed. I gave it a good soaking. Then I tackled the bed on the other side. It was tougher because I was hot, sweating and really tired by then. But I was determined and got over half the bed dug and cleared. It was good enough to plant half a dozen or so Chinese edible chrysanthemums. My father came out to watch but I had no spare energy to visit beyond a few words. After another thorough watering of everything I planted, I came home and crashed.

It is nice to have the time to myself, not having to talk or care for anyone. I can just wilt in peace and not think of anything or anyone. A water melon would have been nice but lacking that, a nice big juicy ambrosia apple was good enough. When I thirsting for something cold and wet, it is hot and dry.

JUNE – metamorphosis 2

typewriter

June has been hot with thunderstorms. My metamorphosis has been a very slow process. Rather turning into a beautiful butterfly, I feel more like a slug or snail. Neither one is very attractive but they are appealing to me today. I like their speed. Maybe their lack of is a better term. I prefer the snail because it can crawl into its shell to get away from it all. That’s what I like to and shall do today – crawl into my shell to get a good rest.

I’ve developed some skill now through my sitting meditations with Mark Williams to close my eyes and let the outer world and all the sights and sounds all away. I can let my thoughts and emotions dissolve into nothingness. I’ve only discovered this ability yesterday, sitting in the quiet late evening heat. The A/C is turned off. The windows are wide opened with a bit of breeze drifting in. The sweat is still seeping into my eyes. I sit and breathe, in and out. I feel my heartbeat slowing down, thoughts and feelings leaving and my body relaxing. I understood at that moment what is meant by a no mind, no body.


June has been hotter and harder than I had anticipated. I can’t remember how long ago I had written the above. Now, almost in the middle of June, I’ve come back to finish what I had started. I hope I can finish. Finishing anything is the hardest task for me. I feel much like a bear at the moment – slow and sluggish. I would rather hibernate through the summer and emerge in the fall. I wonder if there’s a cool log nearby that I can crawl into. There goes my dream of turning into a beautiful butterfly. I should not give up hope yet. Summer is long and a silken cocoon sounds like a cool soft bed to loll, dream and spin magic in.

One thing that has been easy and fun in June is the DYICAD – Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. It’s making tiny art on an index card daily. I have chosen the word prompt route and using pen and watercolour as my medium. It continues till July 31st. I will have 61 cards of art at the end. It does spark creativity besides fun. It’s good for my brain and heart. Here is a sampling of my favourites this year so far.