Giving a Damn

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This is a very difficult summer. Am I repeating myself? Should I stop now? It is so true though. No two days are the same. It’s rare to have a stretch of nice steady weather. After a couple hot scorching days, today the sky is grey and heavy. I am waiting for the clouds to drop their load. I am heavy and slow with their weight. It is hard to move and feel upbeat. I am working hard to string the words together for a post for day 10 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

I wonder how everyone else is feeling and doing. Does anyone else feel that this is a very strange year? The world seemed to have changed overnight. It does not feel safe or sane. I don’t know what or how to do. I just carry on as best as I know how. I hope I am not just going with the flow but making some difference for the better, no matter how small. It is easy to be complacent, not give a damn. But we really should give a damn.

That’s a good reason to keep showing up and tapping out the words. Many times it is just to make myself feel better. Some times I do glean some wisdom for my efforts. It makes me happy then. Right now I am just talking, trying to ease myself out of this heaviness. I feel like a ton of bricks, like a pregnant elephant. I hope I don’t look like I feel. I changed into an oversized black top just to be sure. We’re going out for supper.

JUST RANTING

No two days are equal. Today is not a good day. Nor is it a bad day. It’s just that I am feeling heavy. Do you know what I mean? I am not sure that I do either. You could say I’m treading water, keeping my head above the waterline. I wish I am more buoyant. I am getting tired. I think I am coming down with something.

Even so, it is difficult to rest, to let things be. I have this feeling, compulsion to do, to get ahead, to accomplish. I wonder if it’s me or is it the society we live in. Have I bought into or have I been brainwashed into the idea that I have to be useful, productive, blah, blah, blah. I really like to rest awhile like in the olden days, guilt free. I’m starting to feel flu like. My eyes and nose are dry like sandpaper. My head a bit achy. My body heavy and weighed down like a big sandbag. Even my hands feel flu-ish and achy.

So, why don’t I just give everything a rest? I feel somewhat programed like an EverReady battery. I feel pushed to GO, GO, GO. It’s no wonder that when I get sick, I get SICK. A couple of months ago, I had a summer cold. It lasted a month. I coughed and coughed the whole month. I think I better smarten up, ease up, drink lots of fluids and REST. I should not think so much. I should learn to let go and let be.