Tag Archives: flow

COMFORT MEASURES

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November 5. It’s almost my bedtime but I am not sleepy yet. I shall tap out a few words. They will be my hot chocolate to soothe me this windy snowy night. It has not been as bad as I had expect it to be though I’m hearing the wind howling something terrible right this minute. The sun did not make any kind of showing all day. The day was drab and grey, casting an uneasy spell over me. There was no use complaining about it. It was what it was. I made the best of it despite my unease.

I couldn’t seem to move very fast during times and moods like these. And I could’t quite pull myself together, to be alert, exuberant and full of cheer. It’s not that I am sad, unhappy, feeling bad or anything out of the ordinary. It’s like I’m stuck, lacking the easy flow of a good day. Intellectually, I know the best therapy is to be busy. I stuck to my routine starting with my morning exercises. I made some choke cherry jelly yesterday which I thought didn’t set. I thought I would fix them right away so they wouldn’t weigh heavily on me. Much to my surprise and pleasure, I was wrong. They had jelled. What a good start to help me with the day. It led to one thing after another. I had occupation. I was soothed.

The house is quite. I can really hear the wind now. It’s wearing on me. I can see the lights of city trucks going by. I am glad that I was able to get out in the early afternoon to do some shoveling at my parents and at home. The snow was wet and heavy. It was and still is snowing but at least I’ve cleared some. It’ll be less for tomorrow. Besides it was good exercise and I got some fresh air and light even though it was cloudy. Doing something physical and that was needed lifts my spirit. I knew when I’m finished I will treat myself with a hot drink and something delicious.

November 6. Morning has broken but still no sun and not much more snow. The wind has blown the sidewalks clear. Not much shoveling needed today. I am somewhat at a loss as what to do in the early mornings. I hate wasting time but that’s what I do, scrolling through Facebook. It is too early and too jarring to start banging on the piano. Maybe I need to rethink that. In the meantime I found my keyboard theory book. I’ve had enough time on the keyboard with scales and such. I know enough now to question what is this and that and everything. I’m not too old to learn. I still have the curiosity and the desire.

I have taken out some frozen pumpkin puree from last year to defrost. The plan for today is to bake a sourdough pumpkin quick loaf and some muffins. I have to work on making plans more often. I will add it to my list of 21 Tiny Habits, making it 22. I need plans and routes to reach my goals and destinations. I have a good feel to the day. I feel the flow of a good day.

MAKING LIFE WORK

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I like to say that I am relaxed and focused BUT I am not. The harder and more I tried, the worse I feel. Logic would say I should stop trying so hard and just relax. Sounds easy but it is very difficult to do. I am restless. My stomach is in knots. I’m trying to stop thinking but I am bombarded with thoughts. Relax! Quit thinking! Let everything go! I could feel the gears in my head going round and round, trying to make it work.

It doesn’t work that way. So here I sit, tap, tapping my anguish onto the page, doing a brain dump. It’s more or less Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages. In my case, it’s the Afternoon Pages. It works. I’m finding relief externalizing my pent up angst. Sometimes my thoughts drive me crazy, into a frenzy. I’m like that girbel on the wheel, going nowhere. I lose so much time and energy in this state. It’s better that I can exercise my fingers and let it all out in words. I can call it my brainstorming. I get ideas. I get relief. I get somewhere.

I’m working on getting out my quirks and kinks. I’m focusing on what I can do. I try not to blame other people for my short comings. It’s tempting to throw it on others, but in the long run the only control I have is what I do. That sucks but that’s reality.

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I had to abandon my Afternoon Pages yesterday. My mind was overloaded and stimulated. The day was getting on and so was I. So here I am the next day. It is late morning. I have time only to tap a few words before making lunch. I’m appreciating the tips from Chris Bailey’s The Productivity Project. Our/my attention span is short and getting shorter. There are so many distractions/things to check. For me it’s a constant scrolling – what is the temperature outside, what is the temperature in the greenhouse, messages, emails, social media….I didn’t realize how disruptive all that was for my brain until I cut back.

It’s not all that easy. It’s become such a habit. I find myself reaching for my smart phone whenever there is a lull, which is every few minutes. It helps if I leave it in a different room and if I ask myself if it’s important knowing a particular thing. What difference would it make? Quite often the answer is no difference and of no importance.

Now it is after lunch. I’m sitting with my cup of tea. I intend to finish this post at this sitting so the dishes can wait. If I was to do the dishes, it would lead to other chores. It would be more difficult to come back and refocus. That’s what happens with distractions. It costs more time and energy. When I am in a flow, I should go with it. Multitasking does not lead to flow. It makes me frenzied and freezes me up. It’s better for me to focus and do one thing at a time. Another important tip in being productive. It’s also important to know when to stop and that is now. Tomorrow is another day.

WEATHERING THE BUMPS

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It’s another Covid Monday. It was a cool -3℃ grey morning. The greenhouse held up very well overnight. The low was 3.4℃ at 7:03 am. The furnace was not called to action. Though no sun was in the forecast, it showed up just now at 2:45 pm. The greenhouse is now a lovely 20.5℃. It is 1℃ above presently. I think we have weathered all the bumps. We still have a couple of cold nights ahead but we have a little electric furnace and thermostat on standby. It will kick in at 1℃. A little less guess work and worry from here on in. Hallelujah!

Being Monday morning, it was my online class on Mussolini at 9:30. I did not forget today. It’s good that they send a reminder the day before. I had forgotten one time but I did catch the last half. If I am not mindful, all the days start to look and feel the same. Now at least Monday is class day. I should designate different things to each week day. Sunday is our sourdough pancake breakfast morning. It would help to keep my memory sharper.

I’m still on top of my flow. It’s only my 3rd day but I have to give myself a pat on the back for not dropping the ball yet. It helps if I don’t work on any one thing too long. I don’t get over focused and tired. I can easily move onto another thing. I’ve been surprising myself with how much I can accomplished in short spurts. I’m not wasting so much time thinking. I just do. I haven’t finished my quilt block for today yet but it’s more than half done.

It’s Tuesday evening. I did drop the ball after all. I always have things to do so I have to prioritize and choose. I’m back to finish and close up. I’ve been busy transplanting my cabbage and kohlrabi seedlings. They germinate easily and before I know it, they were very leggy. But they’re all tucked away now in their new little paper pots, ready to go out to the greenhouse tomorrow. It’s going to be another frosty night again, down to -6℃. I have more transplanting waiting for me. I better get some R & R now. Tomorrow is another day.