Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Fascination

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It is a sunny April 4th. I’m always fascinated how the morning and sun changes everything. the world is not quite so dark and I don’t feel quite as bad. I think my cold broke during the night and I am heading towards feeling better and better. Though the world is not better but even worse today, it is fascination that I feel. In Caroline Myss words, we are living in the age of the unthinkable and unimaginable.

Aren’t you just fascinated watching how Donald Trump, the President of the United States and Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of War are behaving and talking? Aren’t you just fascinated that they are running a war? It isn’t a Hollywood movie though it feels much like one. Most of all, I am fascinated that I am so focused on all this whereas before I had no interest in politics. I am really just an artsy fartsy person at heart. Perhaps I am waking up to the world around me. It is time for me to pay some attention and do whatever I can to help.

It is Easter weekend here in the Americas. We’re thinking about turkeys and hams. Then I think about the ‘they’ in the Middle East. I’m thinking of the civilians. Their country is being bombed. In my mind’s eye, I see the rubble falling on the children’s heads. It must be so terrifying. And here I sit, safe and comfortable, in my sunroom. I am not feeling the pain or trauma of life torn apart.

Perhaps I am too serious. Perhaps I shouldn’t be saying all this. But this is who I am. It is hard for me to be silent on things that matter to me. I am often surprised I still keep talking my heart when I get misunderstood and do not get much support. As I’ve often said myself, I am like a dog with a bone. I used to think that as a negative trait. I beat myself up on it. My vision has changed and I quite like that part of me now. Isn’t life fascinating – how it and we can change?

Nostalgia and Bad Dreams

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Photo by Sam Rana on Pexels.com

A sunny March afternoon. There are so many things that I could be doing. I just don’t feel like it. I’m like a petulant child having a quiet little tantrum by myself. I wonder how and what you all out there are doing. Probably all better and having more fun than me. I am reminded of summer holidays of long ago in Maidstone. The town is super quiet. School is out. The farmers are in the field. Everyone else is at the lake or just out of town. Everyone, except us, the Chinese people running the cafes. I’m remembering how lonely and isolated I felt as a child and teenager. We seldom went anywhere except to North Battleford to the dentist or optometrist when needed.

I wonder if that is why I don’t like fun. I prefer cuddling up at home with a book. We didn’t have a library in Maidstone back then. A library on a bus comes once every so often. I could also order books from the library in Regina. They send them on the Greyhound bus. The books I remember are Little House on the Prairie, Trixie Belden and the Hardy Boys. I love reading movie star magazines and Superman comic books. I would stop at the corner store on the way home from school and browse the racks. Sometimes I would get a pack of gum, the ones with movie star cards in them. One summer I bought Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities at the drugstore. I was in high school then and desperate for reading material. We didn’t have Facebook then. It was a hard read. That I remember.

Now there’s too much to read and all at my fingertips. I’m over satiated by Donald Trump buffooneries. Surely he must know and hear what he is saying. I am wondering if they are all a deliberate act to draw attention away from something more serious and sinister. Surely if he carries on much longer, could they not impeach him for mental derangement? Seriously I find everything too absurd to be real. Did Trump really call Gavin Newsom the president of the United States? Did he forget who himself was? I wonder if I had fallen down the rabbit hole and sustained a head injury. And all this is just a bad dream. I wonder how I can wake up.

POURING OUT MY HEART

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I’ve learned from experience to go with my flashbulb moments.  I got that ‘pouring out my heart’ moment yesterday morning. That’s what I did. I poured out my heart on my little index card. It turned out well. I like it even better this morning after all the paints have dried. I love the texture of the layers and the boldness of the colours. This morning I was moved by the leaves of my philodendron. I went with the green leafy feelings and started pouring with the green. It is not quite finished. It is not yet named. I’m not sure if it is to my liking. However, I do love that process of just pouring intuitively. Whatever does that mean? I have no idea. I was just ‘going with the flow’. Maybe I can be clearer about it tomorrow.

One thing I know for sure is: Listening to Donald Trump is poison for the heart. What kind of President of the United States would slam Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony of sexual abuse? I know- the Donald kind. I had to slam the door shut to him and his cheering audience. Best that I concentrate of heart healthy activities that builds bridges to understanding instead of dividing. It is not always easy. Darkness can be persuasive, loudness so commanding. Before I know it, I can be swept over. That’s my weakness. I can be had.

I know I’m easily swayed.  Sometimes I agonized over things that have no right or wrong. I tittered back and forth on things of no consequence. Since I’m having luck with ‘intuitive’ painting, I’ve started applying it to every day living. Yesterday my body told me I should rest and not take a pounding at my step aerobics class. My body said yes. Then my brain started to interfere. I listened to them both and said, we’re staying home. There’s no hint of a leaf in the painting except the green. It is not finished. It could still emerge. I am not yet finished. I am just starting to have fun and pushing the paint and listening to my intuitive self. I am exercising my heart and soul.