A DAY OF REST

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Sunday evening and I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, not one thought in my head, no idea at all for this post.  Some days can be like that and it’s all good.  Today after all is a day of rest.

It started out so full of promise and sunshine.  I rejoiced and smiled.   I settled myself in the love seat in the sunroom.  I read a couple of chapters from a new romance.  Oh, such luxury and indulgence, reading for just pure leisure.  I sipped my tea.  Life is good.

Sheba and I headed out for our gentle jog.  We stopped at my mother’s along the way.  Sheba thought that was great because she knows that she will get lots of attention and treats.  We always had a good time at mom’s.

It started snowing on the way home – big fluffy flakes.  The sun disappeared.  It was not what we want but it was a pretty scene.

Life can be like that – unpredictable and disappointing at times.  But still there is beauty and goodness in it.  You have to roll along with the clouds and be ready to shine when the sun comes out.

EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING

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I’m sitting here tap, tapping away on my keyboard.  The words are spilling from my fingertips.  I hope they will be good words.  I hope the words are healing words.  I am not always sure what will come out.  I am only sure that it is better they come out than fester inside of me.  We know that splinters hurt.  It is best that they are dug out than left to infect.

I am not saying that all bad things hurt.  Sometimes they are  guidance from above.  They are examples of where we have erred.  It is hard to face our own mistakes until it glaringly shows up in others.  It hits you in the belly and you feel the air go out.   Ahhhh! The famous light bulb moment.  Oh, THAT is me.  So, THAT is what I have been doing.  You are ever so grateful that now you see.

So do not ever despair of bad days or cloudy days.  They, too, will pass and under every cloud, there IS a silver lining.  All you have to do is look.

ON THE COUCH

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So it is Saturday morning.  It is the morning after the morning after.  I wake with no boundless joy.  It is perhaps the after taste of my night shifts and last night’s wine.  And yes, the weather is __ !  Let it snow. Let it snow.  Sometimes life feels nauseating.

But I know that these are just the physical symptoms, my body’s reactions to the environment, both the physical and psychological.  And it is a good thing.  It is an alert for me to waken up, to pay attention, and to restore my homeostasis.

I spent a great part of yesterday on my couch, interrupted by one medium walk with Sheba.  No amount of will power nor self pep talk could budge my body.  After all these years, I’ve learned to listen to my body.  I was glad that I had swept the water from the garage and cleaned the yard the day before.  I had heard my little inner voice telling me that the sun is out and you can move today.  Tomorrow might be a different thing.

My body is a pretty accurate barometer,  for it did snow…pretty soft flakes the morning long.  It is really not what most of us want…more snow.  But…we do live in Canada and there is nothing we can do to stop the snow when it comes.  And that is the truth.  It does legitimize being a sloth and I took advantage.  Tomorrow is another day.

Today is yesterday’s tomorrow.  I do not feel like tap dancing.  It is not my nature but I am up and dressed.  I am tap, tapping away on my keyboard.  I am drawn not so much as to how much I can ‘accomplished’ but to how aware and conscious I am.   It is cloudy again but they say under every cloud, there’s a silver lining.  It is for me to decide what that is.

CLOUDS

I’m hearing Joni Mitchell’s song this morning as I look at my pictures of clouds…..and ponder about life and it’s swirling mystery.  I am enjoying the morning sun, sipping my tea and rejoicing and celebrating.
Bows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that wayBut now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

Oh but now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost but something’s gained
In living every day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From WIN and LOSE and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all