Before the day gets away on me, let me sit and make some peace and quiet for myself. Though I did sit in meditation with Tara Brach this morning, my mind is going every which way. It is scampering about like a rat in a cage. It’s thinking about things neglected, things to do. It is not restful, staying in place to inhale and exhale. So I must slow tap to bring all the thinking to a grinding halt. This is the way to creating time, space and ease for myself.

That is better. Breathing in and out, tapping deliberately on each key. My thoughts are slowing down. What is not done now or today can be done later and tomorrow. There is no urgency here except to save myself. I can stop the conveyor belt of useless and habitual thinking and get off. There are no musts here except that I must be like the water. That is, I must be flexible and change with the times and circumstances.

Oh, I am wrong after all. There are a few other musts. I must be more disciplined and not let the Internet hook me so much. I have to ask myself:

  • Do I really need to know about this or that?
  • Don’t I not already have knowledge of this already?

Even these 2 simple questions could cut down time googling for information. I do believe that the scrolling is a just a bad addictive habit for me. All the scrolling has led me to feel uncomfortable with my hands and mind idle. Idleness can be a healthy rest, a spa from our frantic world. I used to be very good at lounging, enjoying morning toast with jam and tea. I never knew how good I had it. Nowadays, I’m always busy – thinking, reading, listening, planting…..There’s nothing wrong with it but I am also unable to concentrate, read for long, know what I am reading, listen and really hear. AND I find it very difficult to edit my posts. If you find some parts of my posts difficult to understand, this is the reason why.

P.S. I’ve made a concerted effort in editing this post.


It’s raining again/still. Thunder is rumbling. The house is dark. I’m sipping on my decaf. Maybe we won’t go for our afternoon walk today. We will wait and see. Only one piece of mail for me today. It is a reward coupon from Costco. I’ve read the instructions and it is safely in my wallet. It has no expiry date but not replaceable if lost. So far, so good. Can’t congratulate myself yet on just one day of taking care of business. It doesn’t hurt though to pat myself on the back. Maybe we will go for that walk after all, to keep the spirit going. But first my coffee.

I read a great post from another blogger yesterday on accepting the truth. It was so right on that accepting the truth will set you free. I read it at the precise right moment. I was mellow and receptive. I saw the truths for myself. I had been fighting and resisting so many truths. I had been wasting so much time and so much of myself trying to figure out the whys and wherefores. There was nothing to figure out. It is what it is. What happened has happened. There’s no undoing, going back, changing. There is only going forward. And I can choose how I do that.

I’ve been pondering on that a bit. I want to put my best foot forward, to do my best on this life journey. I want to live according to my own values while respecting those of others. I think it is possible. I’ve been paying attention to my thoughts, mindful of my words and biting back unneccessary talk. It is difficult at times. Those thoughts keep popping into my head. The words are just itching to fall out of my mouth. Practice does make for better. I watch the thoughts float by like clouds in the sky. I swallow the words before they get pass my lips. Safe again! No harm or hurt done.

It’s still raining cats and dogs. I think best we give up the idea of a walk. Tomorrow is another day. Sheba is mellow, happy with vegetable scraps from supper preparations.