Before the day gets away on me, let me sit and make some peace and quiet for myself. Though I did sit in meditation with Tara Brach this morning, my mind is going every which way. It is scampering about like a rat in a cage. It’s thinking about things neglected, things to do. It is not restful, staying in place to inhale and exhale. So I must slow tap to bring all the thinking to a grinding halt. This is the way to creating time, space and ease for myself.
That is better. Breathing in and out, tapping deliberately on each key. My thoughts are slowing down. What is not done now or today can be done later and tomorrow. There is no urgency here except to save myself. I can stop the conveyor belt of useless and habitual thinking and get off. There are no musts here except that I must be like the water. That is, I must be flexible and change with the times and circumstances.
Oh, I am wrong after all. There are a few other musts. I must be more disciplined and not let the Internet hook me so much. I have to ask myself:
- Do I really need to know about this or that?
- Don’t I not already have knowledge of this already?
Even these 2 simple questions could cut down time googling for information. I do believe that the scrolling is a just a bad addictive habit for me. All the scrolling has led me to feel uncomfortable with my hands and mind idle. Idleness can be a healthy rest, a spa from our frantic world. I used to be very good at lounging, enjoying morning toast with jam and tea. I never knew how good I had it. Nowadays, I’m always busy – thinking, reading, listening, planting…..There’s nothing wrong with it but I am also unable to concentrate, read for long, know what I am reading, listen and really hear. AND I find it very difficult to edit my posts. If you find some parts of my posts difficult to understand, this is the reason why.
P.S. I’ve made a concerted effort in editing this post.