GIVING THANKS

 

Thanksgiving Monday. All is well. The snow is falling gently on the spruce trees. The Buddhas sits unperturded, breathing in and out, beneath their branches. The earth is in repose, having worked hard all these days. I hear its rhythmic breathing along with the Buddhas. I do likewise. In 1 2 3 4. Hold 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. Out 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. It’s so restful. Letting it all go.

For all the talk about letting go, I’ve just come to understand what it means. I suppose it’s the same with so many things. As we grow older, gathering moss and wisdom, our perceptions shift along with our body parts. We are the same and yet not the same. I see that now. There’s no need to berate myself for being stupid, dumb and all the other things. If I had known better back then, I would have done better then. But I didn’t. So here I am now. Resting. Restoring. Relaxing.

I’m giving thanks for the life I have. I’m grateful for this journey of hardships and wonderment. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to grasp that I was born a village girl in China, delivered by a midwife at home. Born but with no piece of paper called a birth certificate. I, myself am testament enough. Look at where I am now. Maybe that’s why I rant so much. I’ve been crying, I’m here! I’m here! all my life. It is to be heard. I like to say I will rant no more, but that’s most unlikely.

But I AM understanding and knowing about letting go. I’m learning from nature. Every year when it is time, the trees let go of their leaves, the flowers give up their blooms to seeds. The plants and animals go into hibernation. Now, when it is time for me to let go of ‘stuff’, I close my eyes and see myself as a tree, dropping its leaves. I hear Nat King Cole singing, Autumn Leaves.

SHAKE IT LOOSE, LET IT FALL

The jukebox in my head is playing again. I keep hearing Kris Kristofferson’s Help Me Make It Through the Night all day. Mostly it was just the first two lines. Take the ribbon from your hair. Shake it loose and let it fall. I see it very vividly in my mind’s eye. It’s like when I hear Autumn Leaves. The autumn leaves drift by my window. The autumn leaves of red and gold. I see the leaves gently floating down.

I think they are beautiful lines that I can use as a mantra to let go of intrusive thoughts. Just singing them in my head relaxes me. It stops the obsessive chatter in my head. I can smile hearing the words and melody playing in my jukebox. I can feel the tension leaving my body. My forehead relaxes and unfurls. I can sit up straight in my chair. My thoughts are loosening. I shake my head. I watch as they fall and drift by my eyes. Music is a great healer.

 

THE SIMPLE AND THE PROFOUND

So here I am, before my keyboard on this fine autumn day.  The leaves are turning yellow, some drifting down in front of my window.  Sheba is barking excitedly at some boys skateboarding by.  She has not grown tired nor used to all is before her in her six years of life.  That is her gift to me.  She keeps me going when I’m in neutral, when I got the blahs and think:  What is the point?  On those days, we head off for the park.  We run by the river.

The point is dogs don’t think and dwell on all the metaphysical wherefores and why-fores of life.  They are just happy if you’re happy, if they’re fed, watered, have a soft bed to lay on and a few birds to chase.  Sometimes it would be good if we could look at our landscape through different frames and lenses.  We might get a different view.  The simple may be profound.

And if we look beyond ourselves, we might see the divine.

And if we look at ourselves, we might find the child in ourselves and that pure joy that we’ve lost somewhere along the way.  We might find our way home to our hearts.